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S
ShePra
Jul 06, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

the dream of night

The dream of night
 
The dream of night
was the only delight
that kept me upright
to toil whole life 
 
the thought of loosing you
was enough
to wake,
to wake me
from the dream of night
 
Ah! aroused the pain
Ah! the sorrow
that I treasure
my whole life
 
where can I find the place
the place where
pain is traded
sorrow is lost 
 
the quietness of yours
speak to me
but how to explain myself
where I lost
The dream
The dream of night
 
...ShePra...
— ShePra, Jul 06, 2009

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Country/Region: IND

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Critiques

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

Hello

The ending was much stronger than the beginning. The rhyming in the first stanza felt off to me. Your language use is good and I like the way the theme was played out. Nice work! Always, Cat
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 8 months ago

This quietness of yours speak to me

I always enjoy your mind, it xpresses the simple lovely sides of life's joys and sorrows in such a charming manner, as this one does too, nice poetry Shepra. "to toil whole life "......(THROUGH life) "the quietness of yours....(or THIS quietness) speak to me"...........(Your quietness speakS to me) "explain myself"......(TO myself) Love Ann of Norway
R

raj

16 years ago

nicely done

the quietness of yours speak to me but how to explain myself where I lost The dream these lines are the essence of your poem and very expressive of the mood ... ShePra i believe you should write more often.. from the few poems of yours i have read it feels like you have loads of feelings..emotions..thoughts...ideas..bottled up inside...allow them to flow freely... raj (sublime_ocean)...
S

ShePra

16 years ago

Dear Raj, I wont say

Dear Raj, I wont say again thankyou... But yes you made me glad... & a huge smile to live with.. Warm Regards... Shepra..
R

raj

16 years ago

Smile & sorrow

Keep that smile on ShePra...the mention of smile and sorrow in your poem reminded me of a wonderful and popular song by the legendary Charlie Chaplin...i will share a verse with you from it just in case you dont know this song .. If you smile through your fears and sorrow smile and may be tomorrow you will find that the Sun comes shining through for you... thats the magic of Charlie Chaplin...the song is so uplifting which makes me sing it when i feel low keyed... warmly..raj (sublime_ocean)..