Here I am

Welcome to the site... this is a very good first post, I think perhaps too much punctuation, but a good write. Would never know English is your second language... welcome again and do make yourself at home with the other poets on the site by commenting and offering your own insights on their poetry... Richard

I agree with Richard, that this piece is over punctuated and that it is a very good first post. I like your language usage and the theme is a good one (I've been there) The pacing is a bit dificult because of all the periods. I'm terrible at punctuation myself, and often rely on the help I get from other poets. Always, Cat

Sounds like writen without other thought to delay or change its good!

I also agree with Richard about less punctuation. You have some periods and capitals in lines that aren't sentences (e.g., lines 1 and 2), which bothers me from a grammatical stance but more than that I think you could use punctuation more sparingly for greater effect. I wonder if it wouldn't work better along these lines: here I am() (b)roken and bruised() (c)rippled and crooked() (k)nees like jelly() (m)uscles made of of mud() I may look like a dead (wo)man walking() Look again(.) -- I feel like a full stop would be more effective here. A slamming down (.) rather than a weaker trailing off (...) (H)ere I am. -- Here, I'd prefer a capitalized, punctuated sentence as a stronger contrast to the first "here I am" (s)tumbling, staggering(--) --Maybe a dash here to emphasize the change in tone below () still standing() Well, see what you think. I liked the increasing syllable count in lines 2-4, like raindrops gathering into a thundercloud as well the symmetry in the first and second halves. Welcome to the site!