Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

B
barbsdad2003
Jul 06, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

it a dark July herewith



==

it a
dark
July
herewith

---

a
single

albino spider
walks red rail in front of me,
trails its strand of web

---

a

hawk atop her snag
gleams at rising sun, watches;
breakfast hides in bush

---

dark

in tandem against
white pearlescent sky, two Great
Blues wing overhead---

and then a single
mallard; how very strange: Blues
travel solo, ducks

in pairs; gray baby
bunnies do not block my path
at this morning's walk

---

July 4

I brisk hike against
this a.m.'s chill like fall; black
redwing shrieks alarm

---

it
is
not

I am sorry for
when I offend; it is not
what I like to do

---

herewith

--

[g]aze on the embers
of the sunken sun
                                           ---Lowell
--

a cautionary
post to those yet young: it means
little that you bring

great treasures to your
elder years; they can all be
stolen by latter

events ... at a time
when to start over is not
longer an option

==

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

More from this author

Comments

I

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Chuck,

I surrender! This poem is too much for me at 5 past midnight. I will come back when I can use my brain again. Yours, ~Nina P.S. Title: It [is] a dark July herewith (?)
B

barbsdad2003

16 years 10 months ago

Sorry I grin ...

here, hope it's not inappropriate. I think (or at least suspect) there's a sense to the order of these pieces contained within the larger. Actually, I placed (figuratively) the first words of the subtitles into a hat, threw it into the air, and let the words form their own irregular line on the floor. Which strung together form the grand title. Since is is not a first word in any of the subs, it wasn't available to be included in the introductory title. I prob'ly don't make much sense with that explanation, but sometimes I like not making sense. In fact, on rare occasions not making sense seems to be the most sensible thing. Hoping you have fun on your reperusal of this piece (assuming you remember to do it (and I won't take offense if you don't)). Thanx, Chuck
faerybeki

faerybeki

16 years 10 months ago

Chuck, for me there’s

Chuck, for me there's layers of poems here, overlapping each other, I like it, I have to work at it, I have to get lost and hop about in the poem, and when I do I find something new, and the hidden thing I find totally contradicts the title, it's great fun! Really made me smile and think, much love Beki xx Ps I love that you put the words in a hat and let them decide their own order for the title, I feel a bit like that's kind of what i do in my occasional shape poems, allow the words/letters to be where they want, sometimes they have their own message, more love B x
I

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Chuck,

there is indeed a certain sense of order to these pieces, as Beki remarked, on several levels. I see you're moving from watching animals to observant thoughts, "July 4" providing something of a bridge there in the middle. I still have the feeling I am missing something here... Will certainly revisit again. Yours, ~Nina P.S. Thanks for the explanation for the title, sounds like you had fun playing around. Excuse my French, but the title is still a bucketful of shit. Looks like bad grammar and is likely to be perceived by many as such.
B

barbsdad2003

16 years 10 months ago

Thanx, thanx

I'm delighted that this piece requires of a reader more than a quick read. Many levels exist within it. Onion layers. I'm sure a different read on a different day will reveal/allow for further meaning ... for those who dare to make such attempt(s). All of the pieces within the whole arise from my own experience(s) ... and of course, like the experience(s) of others, can be applied with (I think) ample meaning to other individuals. We humans (at least most of us) are far more alike than not. Don't know whether that's a good thing, but ... Thanx again, Chuck