Eduardo Cruz

Jul 03, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

To the Treasures of Iran....

Sticks and stones,
will hurt your bones!
When words just come as moans.

A paper you did sign,
that tied you till the end of time,

maybe you were sold,
and your choice was but to sign,
you were unable break their hold

In your corner you must stay,
while he prays, five times a-day.

To which God does he pray?
I can't believe he listens,
if a soul is being stricken,

Your children's life, you do protect,
from the hate that he projects,

you do not see a stretched out hand,
in this desert, you're merely a grain of sand,

Your eyes are closed not to see,
and your ears not to hear,

But if you stand upon this line,
and forward step with all your kind,
Free you'll be.
From his tyrannical mind!

— Eduardo Cruz, Jul 03, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: New York City, N.Y. Spanish Harlem, USA

Favorite Poets: P. Neruda, Jose de Diego, E. Dickenson, R. Frost, there are many more, but these had the greatest influence...

Critiques

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

Hello

This poem evokes many emotions in me. I feel scared, sad and grateful at the same time for my many freedoms. My freedom isn't perfect, there are many flaws in it but it is much better than what those women have. Thank you for posting this. My only criticism is that the flow is just a bit off. Always, Cat

Eduardo Cruz

16 years 11 months ago

Cat,

thank you for stopping by and commenting, as far as the flow if you have any suggestions please feel free to voice your idea's. I will be happy to make the changes to improve the flow. thanks for your honesty. Eddie "I control what I know, and what I don't know, I wait on advantage to come"

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

Hi Eddie!

To which God does he pray? there isn’t one that will listen, if a poor soul is being stricken, Maybe take out the word "poor." This is the area that I stumbled over, it could be just me, so if I were you I'd wait for more feedback before changing it. This is one of the parts that I liked best, because it ends on a hopeful note. But if you stand upon this line, and forward step with all your kind, Free you’ll be. From his tyrannical mind! Always Cat

Eduardo Cruz

16 years 11 months ago

Cat,

thank you for coming back!! This I do see the question of the word "Poor" and yes I will wait and see how it goes? Hope works here only on a grand scale, if all these women put their fears a side and unify, then and only then well the United Nation intercede, and stop this cruelty, that they hide behind religion. I know lots and lots of true believer of Allah, and there women are held in high regard. Again thank you for your insight!!! Eddie

Eduardo Cruz

16 years 11 months ago

My dear Cat,

I've made some changes that might better appeal to the ear, I hope you like it better, if not let me know their always room for adjustments, without changing the internal scheme. Thanks for your suggestion it is highly appreciated!! Eddie

Rett

16 years 11 months ago

Eddie, sad and wonderful

Truly spoken and well done. It makes me grateful to be born where I have the freedoms to do what I can. Well done Eddie. Respectfully, Rett: "Next time you think you're perfect, walk on water." Rett

Eduardo Cruz

16 years 11 months ago

My dear friend,

First let me say "Congrats!!" on the AEC, I am happy that you still are willing to serve, and give of your precious time, knowing your busy schedule with work and family. I say thank you from my heart!! --------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you for the well done! Freedom is the point, but what good is it if we can't help others, this country was founded on that ideal, not only would we have freedom, but through this freedom help other people realize there freedom!!! These women of Iran are vibrant, and intelligent, and I feel that they can contribute to the world and help make it a better place! thanks, Eddie "I control what I know, and what I don't know, I wait for advantage to come"

infinite_dwarf

16 years 11 months ago

Fast Eddie Cruz!!

I came, I saw, I left suggestions (lol): Sticks and stone's -> stones cause you could not - > you were unable to break their hold?? (OR just put an apostrophe before 'cause' as it's a contraction in this case.) in this desert... etc -> in this desert, you're merely a grain of sand??? (helps to shorten the sentence) Overall, I agree with Cat, very moving piece, and there are undertones of different emotions, ranging from anger to hope. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Why worry? There should be laughter after pain. There should be sunshine after rain. These things have always been the same. So why worry now?" - Dire Straits

Eduardo Cruz

16 years 11 months ago

Jess,

thanks for the repairs, your check is in the mail. I think?????? thanks Jess, Eddie

Kailashana

16 years 10 months ago

Hi Eddie, the good, the bad

Hi Eddie, the good, the bad and ugly of any country often depends on how its children and women are treated. A Muslim country, Iran's women are educated in every field available to men.... doctors, lawyers, scientists, academics, etc. In the latest protests against government elections, women were/are clearly *visible*. I posted a blog entry: Alice Walker's (poet, author of The Color Purple) essay on "Encountering the Horror". The format was ruined in my posting it here and it is a long essay... however, every word needs to be read by every *world citizen*. I am appalled but not surprised that there are those whose sensitivities are offended in reading the harshness of *real life* while people actually LIVE (and live through) these utterly deplorable horrible conditions. Peace and Light, Anna p.s. Thank you for the poem, I am glad it is getting the circulation it deserves. Quite an elegant piece. "You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality." Ayn Rand

Eduardo Cruz

16 years 10 months ago

Anna

Thanks for reading am happy you didn't miis it, because for me this is my best poem because of it truth. thanks again, Eddie