shazbat

Jul 03, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Lollipop

You gots to wear your ‘elmet

It’s a rule what can’t be broke

Suspose you ‘as a haccident

That wouldn’t be a joke

If sumfin’ comes a crashing

And it ‘its you on yer ‘ead

It could knock yer bloody brains out

An’ then you'd wake up dead

Yer boots, now they’re another fing

You shouldn’t be wivout

They could stop a painful injury

Of that there aint no doubt

Leather gloves and safety glasses

Are essential fings to wear

You needs yer safety clothing

It’s a nasty place out there

They don’t make rules for fun ya know

An’ I knows you feels a fool

But the elf an’ safety people

They is there to ‘elp us all

So stop your bloody whinging

Get yer sign, get on yer feet, cos

We ‘as to get these kiddiewinks

Safely ‘cross the street

— shazbat, Jul 03, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Norfolk, UK, GBR

Favorite Poets: Kipling, T.S Eliot, Hilaire Belloc, Ogden Nash, Spike Milligan and many more.

Critiques

weirdelf

16 years 11 months ago

bloody brilliant!

With you own inimicable delightful style you have raised a serius issue. Cheers, Jess

shazbat

16 years 11 months ago

Well Jess, health and safety is probably one of the largest growth industries at the moment, unfortunately its run by total idiots who find danger lurking around every corner, it makes you wonder how the human race ever survived without these good people telling us what to do. Thanks for reading Regards John

Mark

16 years 11 months ago

Oh Man !

Wake up dead....now there's 'ood 'or thinking 'buot 'round here we teach 'em to try an' beat the oncome'n cars Mark "some things change, some things don't"

shazbat

16 years 10 months ago

Thanks Mark, glad it gave

Thanks Mark, glad it gave you something to smile about John

Kit

16 years 10 months ago

LOL

I just love your humour, rhymme and POV. Made my morning! And I've had my fill of 'ealth & safety too.

shazbat

16 years 10 months ago

Glad you found it amusing

Glad you found it amusing kit, I know they are there for our benefit, but I could cheerfully strangle these people sometimes as they can get a bit OTT, Regards John

Skumpfsklub

16 years 10 months ago

I like funny. This is

I like funny. This is funny, and (so far as a tin ear can tell) in authentic voice. A great feel for 'how much is enough for this tickle?' is evident. ------------ L8 wants to march in step with the other lines; please, can't you let it use 'you'd'? The poor thing's making a spectacle of itself.

shazbat

16 years 10 months ago

Perry, This is my little

Perry, This is my little rant against the over zealous idiots who think guidance is a hard and fast rule, they have just cost a client over £900 for a job that I could have done just as safely for £50. Anyway glad you enjoyed this as its one of my favourites at the moment. I have changed line 8, is it better? John

Skumpfsklub

16 years 10 months ago

Yeah, the rhythm can't be improved any further. Done job!

I understand the rant. Here in California, we have safety regulations that protect us from attacks by rabid yaks. That fellow over there in the blue tabard is on yak watch for this crew. Good man, evidently; none of the crew have been yak-bitten. And his wage is nearly bearable; we'll get the job done, unmolested by yaks, and we might show a profit this time. One day, perhaps, the notion of 'acceptable risk' will be re-examined. Don't expect it soon, and never expect that those who live with the risks will be asked for opinion in the matter. Perry

shazbat

16 years 10 months ago

A little common sense would

A little common sense would make life a lot simpler, I have to fill out risk assessments every day, the company insist that for every task there is a risk of some kind and this must be accounted for, last week I was at a loss as to what risk there could possibly be, so i wrote "abduction by aliens" I'm waiting to see if it gets spotted, if it does stand clear of the fan. John

Janice Pearce

16 years 10 months ago

Lollipop

_John, haven't read anything this funny in quite some time, thanks for sharing your humor, much appreciated! _____________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

shazbat

16 years 10 months ago

We aim to please Janice, its

We aim to please Janice, its nice to know that it made you smile Regards John

Rett

16 years 10 months ago

'ey john

bit o' good writin' there. yep, we're overrun with blooming idiots these day. Next thing you know we'll be required full safter gear to take a bath. After all, more accidents happen in the tub at you house than anywhere als. Course, you won't get very clean, but it's a small price to pay for being safe. Loved it. Amazingly brilliant and funny as usual. Respectfully, Rett: "At twenty, if you are not a liberal, you have no heart. At thirty, if you are not a conservative, you have no brain." Winston Churchill

Mark

16 years 1 month ago

Nice

Even more fun.. Parents around here are mostly stupid so the kids are a reflection. It is a rarity to see anyone in this city with proper riding gear even the hogsters. Me I still have a seperated shoulder from a bike accident in 2000, only football gear would have worked. This is an important piece as Jess says. Kids especially are delicate and drivers with cells and food .. well.. Excelently executed Shaz.. Mark Resilient Flexibility RUN; when there seems to be no answer common sense will not speak, so run - -go running..