Divine

Overawed in life
taken to death
feeling is rife
in a stolen breath

Finding it hard
to let go to the flow
sorrow is paining
my heart to the bone

Weep-ed into breaches
soaked up in a moan
being of freedom
help glimmer the unknown?

Wings unfurled
swung into sway
shimmering angels
walk in the day

Breathing and eating
talking the walk
making blood warmer
in your pure thought

Holding my heart
in the crest of your wing
energized love
my soul starts to sing

Discovering the way
to flow with the know
angelic love divined
I shall continue to grow

— Seren, Jul 02, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

bjp

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Jayne-Chloe,

I am certainly glad that you are eating. And you remain prodigious with your writing. I am taken with the line "sorrow is paining my heart to the bone" although I first thought that you used "painting" rather than "paining"; the former I also like very much. Then "soaked up in a moan". Isn't that just a perfect line. "Breathing and eating/ talking the walk". You are calming us a little from the distance that miles and pain insert. And then the upturn at the end, which is also a calming of us. And I think that is morally, as apposed to poetically, correct. I also think that one's morality is at play in poetry and should be. I say again, Jayne-Chloe, I am so glad you are writing poetry. Brian

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Brian ...

I have writen poetry since time began, just never did anything with it,and this one isnt edited yet. painting ? or paining ? hmmmm I will wait for the edit and have a good think about it ,thats a really good thought there it could take the poem yet another way as it always does, love this place the ideas flow like magic, there is a little bit more to this poem but I decided to split it into three and I am not even close to finishing the next bit but I want this one right, before the next angel flys out of my mind so to speak, cant have imperfect angels ... (hugz) I am glad I am writing poetry it makes me feel better you know? I can be having the crappiest day and I will write something and it lifts the pall hanging over my head, so in a way it is a type of therapy but its also a passion as I experiment ... and grow LOL (hugz) hope your both well and safe in the eddies....and thanks for the read :D am off to see what I have missed of yours the last few days ... big love to you both Jayne x x

Fleur MacDonald

16 years 11 months ago

Let your written

word walk towards the light while you are sitting in the garden of delight :)fleur

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Fleur theres a start of a poem

.... or even a middle there ... thank you those little words near made me cry lovey Hugz.. you gotta finish that for you not me ... Love Jayne x x Oh and thanks for the read lol I am half asleep lol hugz

Geezer

16 years 11 months ago

Thinking maybe....

My thought is that poets should be allowed complete liberty with words. Making them up or using them in ways that express what we feel. [Witness: Jabberwocky] My point being;[weep-ed] Better watch that rhyming though, it's infectious! And, I've heard tell that there are those that think it not fitting for use in real poetry. {just ugly rumours of course} Great work, Jane.

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Gee

We do have complete liberty with our words and our thoughts, and how we put both on the page is all up to us , and rhyming is divining my soul at the moment so I shall rhyme till free flow kicks in as it usually does ... And I rhyme because I sing and what is singing ? but another form of poetry , for me that is,thanks for the read Gee I am off to find your other puppy poem LOL take care Love Jayne x

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Jayne

Your rhyming and flow feel effortless to this reader. You have a wonderful mind. I especially love the ending of this piece. May your beautiful imagination never end. Love, Cat

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Cat

Thanks for the read Huni ... I just let the pen flow where it wanted with this one and I liked it so I thought I would submit it ... I will have a look and see what wonders you have been writing while I was at the wedding in the morning ... Love to you both Jayne x x