Entomo Necro

Something, is more than better than nothing .. this one is good but needs a little work on the flow I am a little tired at the moment but will come back later and have a look and see what it is .. cant put my finger on it at the moment ... Regards Jayne x

I liked everything but the ending which I thought was weak and detracted from the excellent construction of the rest of the poem. Always, Cat

I unfortunately have to agree with Cat, the beginning and middle came through so strong - and the imagery was enough to make me cringe, as I fear bugs. Believe me, that reaction is not a bad thing - it shows that you are able to reach people with your words. I'd love to see a bit stronger ending though - something that sums up the darkness and... well... general creepiness of those creatures. Ending on a more positive note, your title is superb! ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Why worry? There should be laughter after pain. There should be sunshine after rain. These things have always been the same. So why worry now?" - Dire Straits

I second Cat and Jess, the end might need some work, here's an on the spot suggestion: Where spiders die Where they stop and stare Where life isn’t fair Where no one cares Is where I live I'm looking forward to your revisions on this piece. Yours, ~Nina

Now tell us why you don't kill yourself. Cheers, Jess

Shadowteller I love the story you weave and the rhyme I was there all the way through Always blue