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M

The Loss Of My Life

The amount of love inside of me for you is about to explode
re count the memories we've had - it's emotional
Finally I have found love in me for this one girl
and now since a mistake I've made I'm going to loose my world
- Perfect timing, now more then anything I just wanted our love to unfurl

Her and me, me and her - a perfect combination
But now here I am strapped with litigation
By the one girl who's given purpose to my creation
It sucks hurting the ones who create your revelations
Interestingly enough it sucks, this separation

Hated minutes without her, now may be years
Vaulted memories inside my head now crying out in tears
Exploded how can I fight these fears?
Morbid I will turn without my dear
unwillingly inserted like life I'll have to learn to adhere
— mdehe, Jul 02, 2009

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poetrylove11

16 years 11 months ago

At times your poem seems

At times your poem seems somewhat cliché, especially in the first stanza. I also didn't like the use of suck in the second stanza, it contrasts sharply with lines like: But now here I am strapped with litigation and Vaulted memories inside my head now crying out in tears (these lines are my favorite :D) which are very descriptive and profound. Liz