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Ink Dragon
Jul 02, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Frost


Inspired by Cloudthings'  "Delicate edges of sacrifice"


“Breathe softly over my heart’s frost,

And if you hear it twitter,

Do not be afraid of its black spring.”

(Else Lasker-Schüler)

 

She seemed so content in her castle of ice

The ultimate dwelling place for her to hide

Intricate icicles adorned see-through walls

In semblance of luminescent butterflies

The hallways were spacious, the rooms pretty wide

Illusions of freedom allowed to the convict

(Self-sentenced to several eternities)

A palace of grandeur when viewed from outside

Encaged rage, frozen fire had been the verdict

(Can you see the crystallized flames glittering?)

That had made her craft this delicate prison

To outlast seduction, temptation, conflict

Through stifling her hungry heart’s twittering

Thereby to render her fiery blood stone-cold

Like liquid marble that no feeling enthralls

To guard herself from painful embittering

Beyond forever, it was designed to hold

Impenetrable, from without or within

(For she knew she still harboured affinities)

Invincible for all, no matter how bold

 

She now stares in disbelief at her own skin

That had the power to melt the ice to tears

(For the heat in her veins had once more risen)

All she had to do was reach out from within


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Kailashana

Kailashana

16 years 10 months ago

There’s a wonderful

There's a wonderful sisterhood going on here. Thanks for sharing it with us all. "She had merely to reach out from within". (one too many had's?) remember there's only within... the veil of separation parts...with each piece of the puzzle of our lives we put together...we go deeper Sorry for the *preaching*. Love, Anna "There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic." Anais Nin
I

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Anna,

you are part of that sisterhood, too... The second "had" was intentional, but maybe it is not adequately situated? "She merely had had to reach out from within." Would that read better? And there's no need to apologize among sisters, dear. Yours, ~Nina
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

16 years 10 months ago

I have shivers... not so much from the wonderful imagery evoked,

Oh Nina, I have shivers... not so much from the wonderful imagery evoked, but for the ending which is so wonderful here... I love this so much of all the work I've read of yours, it has touched me the deepest (might be because I have more connection with you now, it has it's positives this bonding huh?!)... I am also pleased to see you trying on more rhyme which you say is a challange for you... I had some ideas, but must try to sleep now, it's 3 30 am (again) & I have to work tomorrow then drive 300 kilometres to see my otter & play mama while the kids are on holidays (I'm more like a sister, to them I think, I like playing & being creative so it's a joy. I will return, (be away a week though) & even though I would give this at least 4 stars now, if you are happy to look at it again I'd rather hold & give it 5 (not sure if you can change your vote after revision, you'd know, can you?) Love this, am so glad it inspired you Nina, I could always see there was so much warmth in you that you were frightened to really wet free... Beautiful quotes you fling about by the way... God I love this place! Ps there was a comma at the end of a stanza that didn't belong, if you read you'll find it xxx LOVE that picture so much Nina!!!!! Anni We dont believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveal
I

Ink Dragon

16 years 10 months ago

Don't fret, Anni,

you can always change your vote, you just have to add a new comment. I'll try and hunt down that comma now and am looking forward to any suggestions you might come up with. As to the quote: Else Lasker-Schüler is one of my favourite poets, and the poem I took that quote from can be found translated here http://www.neopoet.com/node/18089 Have a good week with your otter, will be looking forward to your return. Love, ~Nina