Two Lifelines,One Heart

Rewinding time,
to a lifetime ago

Through the passage of years
mutterings in the night,
haunted sleep raised fears
to welcome
the becoming of sight,
and a small miracle
in the making

A gentle voice soothed me
as a satin sheet of sleep,
folded my fears away
all worry drifted out,
heart spoke,
of listless mutterings

----------

Traveled timed years,meet now

This volume stable
with cadence found,
thoughts from
minds and fears,
serenity’s own tone

Wonders still flowing to
this blessed heart,
discovering minds equal,
dreamy thoughts tuned,
no echos evermore

Just,
this shimmered darkened depth
now saturated
in soothing flows of love,
this joy brought to heart
in caressed speech,
gentled mind
and loved breaths,
threading words
to amend the discord

A smiling brightened nova
my own lodestar

This cleansing light
revealed a heart-song,
singing forever loud
splendidly freed,
and soaring in peace

— Seren, Jun 29, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

faerybeki

16 years 11 months ago

Jayne, this simply gleams at

Jayne, this simply gleams at me, I'm almost blinded! Going to grab my sunnies and read it over and over :) much love b xx

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Thanks Beki , this one was

Thanks Beki , this one was an old poem that a found a few weeks ago and then i thought maybe I could make something of it thanks so much for the read and glad you got home to us for you were very much missed huni Much Love Jayne x x

washing tears

16 years 11 months ago

hey!

i have finally managed to comment on yours! i really enjoyed this poem, it stirred in me as i was reading,the word choice is spot on, thank you for sharing it! -with what love could be- WT

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

WT

Nice to see you on my page ... thanks this one was an old poem the lifetimes ago part and then over the last month I added to it ... it is a different contrast in styles was never meant to be a great work of art lol thanks for the visit ... love Jayne x

professor

16 years 11 months ago

Mutterings and ravings

Here are some thoughts on re-working the first part of the poem JayC. Think you should avoid repeating mutterings and fears and maybe just develop the imagery a little more. Something like: Rewinding time to a lifetime ago Through the passage of years mutterings in the night haunted sleep with hackled fears that were only becalmed by the work of miracles A gentle voice soothed me as sleep between satin sheets folded and slid my angst away all worry drifting free of heart-torn flagellation Love K

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

LOL I knew you would see my mistakes ...

And i had already started a rewrite but I take my time with these things , a friend told me to let them rest and go back a few times so I have taken that advice to heart I dont do too many hastly edits these days but I love ALL your suggestions, now i just have to give them some of my magic and the spell will be struck LOL .. just joking ... good to have you back :D love J x

Candlewitch

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Jayne

Love the subject matter and the language! I like the first poem best, as it appeals to me the most and I know those mad mutterings. I do think it needs a better title though. Maybe something to do with the mutterings? Love, Cat

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Cat

This one was a whim , just thought I would put an old poem and a new one together see how they went, another experiment LOL but it was fun to write though, will do a rewrite of this one shortly thanks as always for your comments much Love Hugz Jayne x x I like how it shows the difference in my two different worlds ... (hugz)