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Bonitaj
Bonitaj
Jun 26, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

THESE FIVE SENSES

THESE FIVE SENSES…

 

 You stir me from a dormancy  I never knew existed A quivering sensation I never knew consisted of visceral responses to your voice, your words, your very wishes.

 Thoughts rush from me

 Like wild waters crashing
over a lurching bow,
throwing mists of magic 
 creating this fantasy for me now -
allowing me to visualize

 the connection with you somehow.

  

           “I can smell you like sea spray, taste the salt on your lips, feel the touch of skin to skin - see the wonder in those darkened eyes, even hear saddness in those passionate sighs.”

 You fill me from pore to pore - each of my senses will have no more. BjR  25 June ‘09
— Bonitaj, Jun 26, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Tip of Southern Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)

More from this author

Critiques

Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 11 months ago

Not sure what you mean by

Not sure what you mean by "have no more" at the very end? I like the rhythm and the content, I like it. Is the quote from one of your own poems? I am a little lost, you must explain to this old lady!! Awaiting your help but liking what I read, yours Ann of Norway Now i thank you for your explanation and give you the stars, i don't give such without understanding the poem fully first. I am glad to make you feel so because i commented on yours, it isn't always easy to keep up or find people if one isn't here all the time!! And now I am on the telephone type of internet here in Flatdal, Telemark where there are monúntains and things could be a little more difficult I hope people will understand Love from Ann of Norway
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 11 months ago

THESE FIVE SENSES

Hello Ann I feel so privileged to have you critique my poem since you are so IN THE SPOTLIGHT at the moment and I really admire your work. THis piece is entirely new although there seems to be a similar strand running through most of my work - which is why you recognised something which seemed familiar? The last line of EACH OF MY SENSES WILL HAVE NO MORE says just that! They are satiated! Forget the cup overflowing - the saucer is too :) Cheers! Enjoy the weekend and stay inspired! You're among THE BEST! Boni ps. Did it not earn any stars or did you just forget! :)
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 11 months ago

Boni...

another very good poem from you... I liked it and can relate as I'm sure many can... there is always that one... to send our senses reeling... Richard
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 11 months ago

THESE FIVE SENSES

Indeed Richard - to me it's always the unattainable "OTHER!" Cheers Bj
B

bjp

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Bonitaj,

"You stir me from a dormancy I never knew existed" - What terrific opening lines. I think there are many lines here which match them in quality and in urgency. Urgency is often a very good device to use, and here there is a consistent urgency which is normally best. "I can smell you like sea spray" is definitely one of my favourite lines. The body's odours are a little like despair, we mask the power so as not to be overwhelmed. But poetry is such a good place to ditch the deodorant and you have done that here producing an illicitly scented piece. Good work! Brian
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 11 months ago

THESE FIVE SENSES

Hello Brian: As you know I churn out a lot of work daily - so when I see you coming back to comment I realise a particular piece has some merit in another's eyes. I thank you for that! I love your analogy of 'odours and despair' wow - what a concept! I must say that 'mustiness of certain odours' contrary to common parlance, illicits anything but despair for me at least. ('pheromones' makes me think of a word play on 'Pharoah moans!) 'Isn't being "overwhelmed" part of the paradox of desire? Boni
B

bjp

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Bonitaj,

Absolutely. It is. And I think that chemistry is fundamental to a romantic and partnering relationship. The overwhelming is sometimes too dominant, since there are other necessary elements to pairing which get submerged by the paradox of which you speak. As to odours, I think that deodorant still maintains its prominence because men aren't too keen to be smelling other "alphas" and they would all go a bit crazy if women were too floral all on their own. So deodorant is a little like a middle eastern shroud for the modern world. Brian
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 11 months ago

Love it!

Your arguments are always so cogent yet so beautiful! how do you team up the two so well! CHeers Bonita j
B

bjp

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Bonitaj,

Lots of lateral thought which encourages the misplacement of keys and the avoidance of motorcycles. Brian
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years ago

better late than never Indi

jeez - but by a whole year... I think the satiation wore off long ago lol I'm now working on a remix with the Stones - "I can't get no satisfaction" lol CHeers Boni