Flared in Sorrow

Inside this spectacular flare
seeped to shadows edge,
is a sadness born of leagues
and sorrow freed
a forged memory shrines
in might

Timed unsheathed tears
blessed flows of comfort,
rained misery echos,
   from chambered arch,
   heart wells to break
   this ache of mime,
broken despairs diverged
with soul searched memoirs
now worn retired,

Serrated scorched flesh
burning lines seared Though,
breathlessly transformed
flourished streams unbidden-ed,
now breached
renewed

Breathing in the blackness
sprays that misery blew
pain of crushing memory
   now merged,
    lustrous forever,
   heart strings sung before
   a munimented fibril of tears,
drips quenching
a heart dwelling
within a mind

Memory graced in visions
seems broken spilling bare,
defined into the sharing
this soul de-lined despair,
hope refilled in crystal hue
   deeded thought was found
    shimmering in its loveliness,
     these ruminated musings
      blazing Love astound

— Seren, Jun 26, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

bjp

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Jayne-Chloe,

You are working incredibly hard and the results are proof. You must have a stone at home because the tools of your trade are becoming so sharp. Inside this spectacular flare seeped to shadows edge, is a sadness born of leagues sorrow freed a forged memory shrines in might, timed unsheathed tears blessed flows of comfort, rained misery echos, from chambered arch, heart wells to break this ache of mime, these broken despairs diverged soul searched memoir now worn retiring, These words taste of salt, and leave salt tracers to your fingers and past. At this pace, you will find the prairie soon, where you can break from the scrub of experimental and canter where you will, and not be longer uncertain that when you bellow, the voice you hear is yours. Brian

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Brian

The Praire is right near Brian, funny you should say that,last night my partner and I discussed how my poetry had changed,and he has really enjoyed the changes... I am becoming more relaxed ? if thats possible , I tend to lean into the words slowly and let them come to me ,sometimes takes a while but I am looking around me and into the world hoping that little truths reveal themselves Now this poem, was inspired by two very sad poems I read here at neo , I read them ,thought on them for a while, how they affected me and this was the result You dont know how much your words make me proud,maybe my hard work is paying off?, I just want to be a decent poet I read a lot of poetry only because I love it , but you and a couple of others have inspired me turn my gaze from inside myself where I had become sort of trapped for a week or two ... and thats true ... the encouragment made me look out and in doing that made things easier on all fronts I had every right to be upset and internalise but ! not forever ... your comments and those of a few others made me realise to work out whats inside of me ? poetry wise ... I had to look at other peoples stories not just my own for a true teller of tales tells of others and lines them with parts of themself ... thank you for your comment this one? truely didnt know if it was any good .. LOL I never do though ... Love to you both Jayne x

CyberSpace

16 years 9 months ago

yep that was an enjoyable

yep that was an enjoyable read i loved it love love love love you + 2 thumbs up

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Thankies darlin x x x love

Thankies darlin x x x love you too berry much ... (hug) We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall ...

Bosscombat

16 years 9 months ago

:)

im sad i missed this one the first time i agree with brian that the tools of your trade are sharp this one is testament to your unbelievable ability! lead the way <3 ♣

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Matty, wanna wear my fat

Matty, wanna wear my fat controller hat? lmao :P Thanks so much for the read and the comment and the purdy stars ... lol ... glad you liked it I really enjoyed writing this one though it took a month to get the format and the edit done was really busy here back then lol much love and biggest hugz Jayne x x x We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall ...

Candlewitch

16 years 9 months ago

Dearest Jayne

yup, this one is an incredible write. I loved the lines that Brian quoted and these, too: Memory graced in visions seems broken spilling bare, defined into the sharing this soul de-lined despair, hope refilled in crystal hue deeded thought was found shimmering in its loveliness, these ruminated musings blazing Love astound Love, Cat

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

FINALLY !!!!

I am soooo sorry but I had to wait till you read this one , it was a write of yours and a write of Anni's that inspired this write , I am now the happiest awake person in my street LOL I am probably the ONLY awake person in my street but i am certainly the happiest :D wooot I am soo glad you liked it I am nearly dancing :D love you hun biggest hugs Jayne x x x x We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall ...

doorman

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Jayne

I had to read this one very slowly. Deliciously complex arrangement of vivid imagery and strong emotion. Solid work! Yours, Espen.

Seren

16 years 9 months ago

Dear Espen

I am going to like you LOL , when I wrote this is was slowly labouriously maybe ? and its meant to be read in sips and digested ... thank you sooo much for taking the 'time' ;) love and hugz Jayne x x "We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves. Lynn Hall" ...