"Airhead"

her mouth seemed strangely pursed
as if she had just consumed
a moldy prune.

I've no doubt she had use for a prune
(poured ear)
but I fretted some about those
moldy possibilities
despite that there was only simile.
you don't want to fuck around much with molds
nor simile.

we've seen your work, she said
and heard your views
so unlettered
so outmoded
so very wrong
about the art.

craft, I said.
that was habit now.

so harsh a look
a rented mask
she sees not much
she sees not me.
F-R-O-D

you need instruction
you must be trained
you are so far behind
Tradition
your gift-- small --
spent-- all --
to false end
unworthy

me, my mite, or my aim?

Yes, she agreed
(charged nipples)
triumphed
you do understand
dimly

yes, I do, I think
that fuzzy green meat over there should be ripe by now
do have a bit
while considering
its ontological status
enjoy our quaint native folkways

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Comments

Skumpfsklub

16 years 10 months ago

Good ear, Kelsey---

Yes, that was intentional. The 'poor dear' I expect will be caught more often than 'pour dire', or 'por dir'---but that's not really an important matter, just a shot across the bows for those who work clumsy cross-linguistic puns into poetry to be read by monolingual English speakers. I'm bein' PRETENTIOUS here, for the sake of bein' pretentious. About that 'hidden wild card line': perhaps the best use for it is to hold it in mind; when you get to the line that has the same rhythm and rhymes, it might, MIGHT, add a little significance to the line in the poem. How it would is a question I couldn't answer with a gun to my head. The truth is, kiddo, I wrote this while pissed off and a little tiddly on red wine. I'd read stuff that stirred my ire against the smug and toplofty. I vented spleen, and I'm glad I did. There's more strength in this poem than I expected to find---but it's not so much that I'm ready to brag about it. But I think the better response would have been a bludgeon in a dark alley. Snobs, like mules, respond to that sort of thing sooner than they do to gentle rebukes or mild parodies. Perry

Skumpfsklub

16 years 3 months ago

repetition is the sincerest

repetition is the sincerest form of repetition

Skumpfsklub

16 years 3 months ago

Why write another faux

Why write another faux comment, you ask? Because the poems I'm doin' that for today have not been visited a hundred times yet---and their 'visits' include a substantial number of 'visits' engendered by my returns to the pieces, and some spurious 'visits' that appear to be artifacts of bugs in the program. So, get used it: I keep recommenting until I feel that the poem has had enough exposure to lend value to the numbers.