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C
Celadon
Jun 18, 2009 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Celtic Poets

The storm shall never cease.

We speak in tongues

and storm as flocks of birds

shocked from the earth.

We write  iridescent signs 

the names of all that are loved

and longed-for

and scatter them to the skies.

Steeped in bright desires

our cries, dialect of the dawn

Answer your heart

 

Our thunder, a dervish of wings

startles the fawn in you 

But wait—

The storm shall cease 

when the rain doth fall (listen!)

for all and all

Upon a yearning earth

On rivers grass and us

the singing trees.






— Celadon, Jun 18, 2009
More from this author

Critiques

Seren

Seren

17 years 1 month ago

Steeped in bright desiresour

Steeped in bright desires our dialect cries in mourning . ? lol I am tired and can't sleep This is a wonderful poem I really like it .. regards and Love Jayne x x
C

Celadon

17 years 1 month ago

Celadon Jayne! 3:11 a.m.?

Celadon Jayne! 3:11 a.m.? Thank you so much for dropping by!—Yes, my challenge is that the idea is complete (as far as I can see) but the rhythm stops short...which storms generally do not do. I'm afraid mourning won't work because we're talking about Celtic poets who I'm told were mystics. But thank you, thank you. Every suggestion helps me clarify my position. O and thanks for initiating me into the chat room. You're a great hostess! I had a good time! Great to meet you! luv, Marion
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years 1 month ago

Hi Celadon,

nice to meet you! I think this poem is already a great write, I love the image of the birds and have found many favourite lines (too many to quote here) in it. You said you were looking for a transition, so here's a suggestion (in keeping with the bird metaphor, or at least that's what I tried to achieve). We stretch our wings into the rising currents I am looking forward to your own ideas. With poetic regards, Ink Dragon
C

Celadon

17 years 1 month ago

Celadon Ink Dragon, nice to

Celadon Ink Dragon, nice to meet you too! Your suggestion is really good... The bird metaphor should get a wrap-up, yes! Now I've just to integrate it into the storm idea...so I'm brewing some ideas. It may take some time to discover what's there. But thank you! Build yourself a great legend, Ink Dragon! Warm regards, Marion
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 1 month ago

Hi Celadon...

I don't think I've commented on any of your poetry, or have I? getting old and senile I am... in any case it is good to meet you and I had a good time in Jayne's chat that you were participating in... I don't usually do the chat thing... I like your poem... I do have a couple of suggestions for it... for one thing, the bold font I felt wasn't needed, many do it but to me, if the poem doesn't work, bold font isn't going to help it, and if it does work, it is the words that will work, not how bold they are... plus, your first line isn't bolded, which leaves one to think it is of less importance to the writer... but it is detrimental to understanding the logic of the poem... "And" write ... I felt should be "We" write, flows better even if the "we" is repeated from the previous thought. the names of "what" are loved... do you think "which" would work a bit better there.? On the transition... I agree with Nina on keeping the bird theme, it is afterall, the storm... maybe something about the rumble of wings could be added to your transition line... merely suggestions on your Celtic Poets... great title by the way... Richard
C

Celadon

17 years 1 month ago

Celadon Hi Richard! Yes, we

Celadon Hi Richard! Yes, we met in the chat room... my first foray into a jamming session. It was great fun! And thanks so much for your comments on Celtic Poets. #1 Bold print ....I'll try normal next time to see how I like it. The first line was bold on the preview, but as soon as it was uploaded, it wouldn't cooperate. Indents also are beautiful on preview, but are lost in uploading.Do you know anything about that? #2 I like "we" better too. I'll go for it. Also clarifies identity. (I had changed we to and for the sake of flow.) #3 Yes, "which" is better! #4 The transition. Everyone felt the bird theme be kept... so that's a fair indication where I should go. Time to see what comes through now. Will let you know when I've found a transition. Thanks for the help, Richard! Best wishes, Celadon
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years ago

Neat!

Marion, you have found a really good transition! Yours, ~Nina

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