Ian. T, T is for teacher

A TEACHER

We all give titles
As names
To all those
We meet
In the road of change

All titles are special
their meanings
Personal to remain

But ? the first title
The first one
A hand of hope
To he I gave
It was to my
Teacher , Ian T
Only by him
Was my poetry saved

You see I was leaving
This poetry site
Because of the problems
They were not my fight

But his hand
Was the first
Given to me
A hand of hope

Be a poet
He asked ?
Write and dream
And those problems
Will pass

To this day
I have given
Out many more titles
In my road to change
Teacher was the first
A hand of hope
That I save

— press, Jun 14, 2009

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Critiques

Ink Dragon

17 years 1 month ago

Hi Press,

this is a heartfelt tribute to Ian, who has touched many hearts here and lent many a helping hand. Dare I say it? Your style is still a little rough, too much every day (no offence). Have you ever tried an acrostic? I'd love to see this one as an acrostic that spells "Teacher". Regards, Ink Dragon

press

17 years 1 month ago

RE teacher

Thank for your comment Dragon . First I would never be offended by love this is how I view your comment .If you took the time to reply then god wanted me to hear it that's the truth . So next I looked your work to see what I could learn . So when you said Your style is still a little rough, too much every day (no offence). I would have to agree to some degree in to much every day . But my style being rough ? please show me how to write better when you say this [ like better words or grammar ? what is rough] Now this acrostic style ? is this your style .I was looking for it in reading your work I have to say I need help on this too. So I will add you to my buddy list list if you don't mind Love to you Press

Ink Dragon

17 years 1 month ago

Press,

an acrostic is a poem that spells out the thing it describes, I like to call my own acrostics "charms". E.g. when you write about coffee, it could look like this: Caffeine Odour Fragrance Flavour Endless Energy Of course, you can use whole sentences instead of one word lines. I think that your poem is based on a good idea, and would love to see it a little more refined, either by structure (e.g. acrostic) or by the use of more imagery, e.g. similes (if you were writing a love poem, you might say "your eyes are like rose petals", that's simile) or symbols, which you have already used to a degree here (the hand). Hope to be able to help, instead of just ramble on, please tell me if there is still something that is not clear. Regards, Ink Dragon

press

17 years 1 month ago

Ian RE

Hey Ink I understand this structure (e.g. acrostic) . I would have to say that I don't have intimate details about Ian to refine or to write in a (e.g. acrostic) because I have never met him ? truthfully I have only seen one picture of him in his earlier days I would like you to think about this? His poem is a true account of how we became friends it was wrote as a poem of honor . and this is very intimate between us and not as you say(if you were writing a love poem, you might say “your eyes are like rose petals”, . I hope you will read some more of my work . Please don't get me wrong I do believe in what you are saying. I am trying to push my boundaries pass the every day simple rhyming . I call it fast food poetry ? it’s taste good but it’s not filling the mind. So please read some more of my poetry OK name is Pressley nice to meet you and what is yours INK Question are you a romantic ? if so I am to that might be my next poem

Ink Dragon

17 years 1 month ago

Pressley,

I like your notion of "fast food poetry", and think that you are definitely on your way towards your boundaries and beyond. Keep pushing yourself over the edge, dare try something new and be surprised and elated at the outcome. Here's a try at an acrostic, I have tried to use the essence of your words and to refine it a little, just as an example, no need to use my suggestions: All titles we give are special, their meanings personal to remain. To Ian T, a hand of hope, I gave the first one, Empowered by his ideas, his gentle prodding, After having been prepared to leave this site, Coming from fights and problems that were not my own, He asked: “Be a poet? Write and dream and those problems will pass.” En route to change, he lent me a hand, encouraged me to travel further. Regardless of how many titles I will give out: He was the first. You will find my name in my signature, and I am actually more of a cynic than a romantic. I enjoy philosophical and dark pieces, as a general rule, and also myths of every kind, be it dragons, fairies, angels, demons, ancient gods... Yours, ~Nina

press

17 years 1 month ago

hey Nina

OK Nina this about two different styles [ please forgive me for saying this ? but you can take it] .The an acrostic in your own words ? [ is a poem that spells out the thing it describes, I like to call my own acrostics “charms”. E.g. when you write about coffee, it could look like this:Caffeine ,Odour ,Fragrance ,Flavour] .So when you rewrote this ? Here’s a try at an acrostic, I have tried to use the essence of your words and to refine it a little, I thought it would say something like [ his hand of hope . I felted his grip .His hand was strong . His grip , his strength keep me on OK Nina question if i said his hand ? you wanted me to describe with more detail to refine expand on some thoughts . After reading the edit version of yours I have questions . It's looks like my words ? just rearranged ,replaced with new words OK Nina this was fun to mixing it up with you in conversation . I love doing this. OK my poets are John Coltrane , Miles Davis , Grant Green , Pharaoh Saunders, Keith Jarrett . All the jazz greats . This my style ? hopefully one day I can combine the two love to my girl Nina and friend Press

Ink Dragon

17 years 1 month ago

Hi Pressley,

it was fun for me, too. Just keep trying to grow, you have come to the right place here, where you can find many poets willing to help. If I may say so: You ought to comment a little more on other's poems, the more you comment, the more feedback you will get. (And you can just say: I like it! or: Sorry, I don't like it. You don't have to be a scholar in order to have an opinion.) Yours, ~Nina

yenti

17 years 1 month ago

Press

Thank you so much for your tribute, but always remember it is your words, in your poems that make you what you are, we are here to hold out a hand or thought to guide you in any way. You just keep writing and listening to the readers and all will be fine, you have a great time writing. When my puter is feeling better " I shall return " as someone once said to a lovely people, Take care out there, Yours Ian.T

press

17 years 1 month ago

RE teacher

I hear you teacher love to you Press

themoonman

17 years 1 month ago

Press...

I can't think of anyone more deserving of a tribute poem than Ian... I think he has the warmest, most giving heart I've ever had the pleasure to experience. With that being said, I wanted to touch on the "roughness" that Nina originally stated about the poem... it is something in many of your works, but I can see it is getting better... the roughness comes in while the reader is putting the poem together... while writing the poem in separate sentences, I can see how it is missed, but when reading it aloud, to me, it is obvious where the rough spots are... let me point a couple out in this poem... We all give titles as names to all those we meet in the road of change. it is the flow of the words coming out, doesn't seem natural, and un-natural makes it rough... We all give titles, names to those we meet on the road of change... now all I did was take your words and pull out what didn't need to be there, I didn't change any except for "in" to "on"... because we are not in the road, but on the road. if this helps you then I feel I've done my part, if you have questions, feel free to ask or you could always elect to tell me to jump in the nearest river... which it has been hot lately and wouldn't be a burden... respectfully Richard

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