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S
ShePra
Jun 13, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

I am falling

I am slowly falling
the more I talk
the more I loose
falling like petals from flower
falling like clouds on  tree
 
I am slowly falling
the more I know you
knowing like blood to vein
knowing like bird to cage
knowing like thirst to wine
 
I am slowly falling
the more I feel you
feeling like water to body
feeling like tears to eye
feeling like wind to sky
 
I am slowly falling
I am trying to find you
finding in old books
finding under the pillow
finding you where my search ends...

......ShePra...

— ShePra, Jun 13, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: IND

More from this author

Critiques

Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 12 months ago

I love the rhythm of this one

Like the beating of the heart it throbs its message describing the feeling of falling in love. Very nicely put. I think the dark and light letters are not needed nor the U for you, just written out straight it would be perfect, as it is those elements are too frustrating, and no capitals, except for the first letter of the poem. That would make the actual petals speak with their wonderful softness, as there would be nothing in their way as they fell. If you do that you shall have five stars from me. Yours Ann of Norway
S

ShePra

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Ann, Your words

Dear Ann, Your words are so kind. I use to think sometime words need wings.. But your comments made me realize that words not need wings... Just eyes to be familiar with. Will keep that in mind so that I can get all the seven stars… I am 28 & come from small place called Kashmir {India}. Kashmir is a valley with arouse mountains & quit lakes... these lakes sometime make me realize the stagnant Life... but when I read the way u described Lake.... You act as mirror of the clouds And bring the heavens down to us Really beautiful.. I will write more to u… Take care ShePra
Seren

Seren

16 years 12 months ago

I totally agree with Ann …

I totally agree with Ann ... So shall hold my stars as she did , this is a lovely write and it shows promise ,well done ;) ... love and light Jayne
S

ShePra

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Jayne, Thanks for

Dear Jayne, Thanks for being so nice. I use to think sometime words need wings.. But your comments made me realize that words not need wings... Just eyes to be familiar with. Will keep ur comments in mind so that I can get all the seven stars… II will write more to u… Take care ShePra..
T

tanha

16 years 11 months ago

Dear shepra, From where you

Dear shepra, From where you get these words from,if it's a tree pass me the seeds,with time may be i can also have such beautifuly crafted words for my writings. Good job,keep going & god bless u always
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 11 months ago

Lovely ShePra

Knowing like blood to vain…(VEIN) Please put YOU instead of u. In a comment anything is allowed it seems but not in a poem. You do not need the .......after anything either..............................? Please? Then I shall set the five stars in in advance. Yours Ann of Norway P.S. What does ShePra mean in Indian?
B

bjp

16 years 11 months ago

Dear ShePra,

This is an inspiring love poem. It has the feel of the falling feather, somehow dry after a cloudburst, landing upon an upturned rained-on cheek. Like Ann's observant eye, I too noticed vain in the place of vein and wondered if you meant vain. I also prefer you to u, unless you prefer to have the person of your desire so abbreviated (and if "vain" you mean, then perhaps you do). It is a gorgeous and humid love poem, especially in the jungle-like setting of my sitting, where rains come and go and the greens green and the plants grow faster than a winter ever grows cold. Brian
S

ShePra

16 years 11 months ago

Dear Brain, Love

Dear Brain, Love definitely is a wonderful experience, word become poem & sound become rhythm. I meant vein, & changes done. Thank you for your rating & inspirations. Looking forward for your comments. Shepra
Seren

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Your star is shining

Your star is shining brightly now :) well done ... I agree with Ann the U should be you it detracts from the beauty of your work ... Love Jayne x
S

ShePra

16 years 8 months ago

You you you you you you you

You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you ........ Mobile had spoiled me ....... hope i will not write 'u'any more.. Love ...ShePra...
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

16 years 8 months ago

Dear, dear Shepra

DO FORGIVE ME, please do forgive me! I don't know you were using a mobile and I am sure you have to have the eyes of a hawk to see it all properly. Thank you for you for the U being made into the you that is you. My love to the you that is you from Ann
D

Dalton

16 years 7 months ago

Dalton to Shepra

A lovely poem which flowed with great elegance. Only problem being the grammar seems a wee bit off, was that intentional because it could seem so. Apart from that it seemed sweet almost naive in its outspoke honesty. Simple yet with itsown degree of sophistication if you catch my drift. Respects Dalton.
S

ShePra

16 years 4 months ago

Dear Dalton, I will

Dear Dalton, I will definitely look into it.Thanks for your appreciation.