Never run after someone who is running away....

Inspired by THE COLLAR – George Herbert "I STRUCK THE DOOR AND CRIED NO MORE! I SHALL GO ABROAD! but intentions speak louder than wordsthey swell up and bluster in their overarched confidenceA knowing that says: If you love me enough I shall join you.But to what avail to go unannointed,
to arrive unannounced?

"Whose life is it anyway?" "When I loved myself enough."... and all that instructiveBullshit that saysDETACH! LET GO!What wisdom, when your heart cries NO!

I will forage through the scraps of your wordsTo feast on their inadequacies.To fall on the sword of their indifference.To be a doer,
not a passive protagonistof longing,
but rather lurch forward
albeit
to your illustrious
IMAGO -
since you the Idealised one
no longer exist!

BjR June 13, 2009

NB. "IMAGO" is the idealized image we hold of the "Perfect Partner"

— Bonitaj, Jun 13, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Tip of Southern Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)

Critiques

themoonman

16 years 12 months ago

Hi Boni...

I think this is good but may need a little work, only one opinion and you know about those, right??? abroad... not sure if its use is appropriate in the way it is presented... seems not to for me, are you saying you want to widen your stand... It would seem that this is about an abusive situation, the knock to the floor, detach, let go... strong and decisive measures (detach and let go) ... to be a doer, not a passive, inactive tense of longing... this line didn't quite send to me what I think you are trying to display... maybe... to be a doer, not some passive, possessing inactive tense of longing... merely a suggestion... or even... to be a doer, instead of my passive, etc... respectfully Richard

Bonitaj

16 years 12 months ago

Not so, my Heart

Well done Richard! ALways first out of the starting gates... just in time for me to do my alterations! THanks! :) Here's the plan: If the reader could/should cross reference to THE COLLAR by George Herbert - they will see that ABROAD means "GO OVERSEAS"... now! Quesion is - would they do that? My mistake too in that it is more a common English term than an American one. Does that already change the intro a little for you? Also - The floor is a direct replacement for "THE BOARD" which again comes from the original poem... Getting too complicated I guess! Damn! and I liked it alot! So to capitulate - it's not about an abusive situation, it's about wanting to run after someone who is running away as it were! "a knowing that says you love me enough I shall join you etc.." The detach stuff is all about OTHER PEOPLE saying Let it go! What I certainly need to change is that wording about "tense" I was thinking of "verbs" / active or passive! Whew talk about "going behind the scenes". Still going for gold any time soon! Thanks again Boni

themoonman

16 years 12 months ago

Well then...

you cleaned it up mighty perty... now it makes total sense, and this time I went and found "the collar" before reading again... so it seems at least some of it was me not understanding... very good Boni.. Richard

Bonitaj

16 years 12 months ago

Not so, my Heart/ never run after anyone....

Dearest Richard My earliest mentor and friend here on Neopoet, thank you for taking me on as your protege! Without you this poem would never have come to fruition! "The fault dear Brutus lies not in the stars but ourselves"... or perhaps there was a little too much ambition, nay "Stardust" in my eyes! Thank you so much for your intuitive wisdom and honesty! Boni j

bjp

16 years 12 months ago

Dear Bonitaj,

I find the ideas in this poem, and its execution, to be attractive. You have great command of the novel phrase and an experimenting nature. The use of upper case and double space then lower case and single space, all demonstrate what can be done sans the words, so to speak. they swell up and bluster in their overarched confidence ...does that mean they diminish with their underarched... I will forage through the scraps of your words To feast on their inadequacies. These are simply lovely words, touching, full of feeling and of zest held back but pouring still from every pore. I have read a number of your poems up to now. And I am finding that I am drawn thin attempting to comment where so many efforts are being made. But I felt I could not let this go by alone, having so well expressed aloneness. Brian

Bonitaj

16 years 12 months ago

never run after....

Hullo Brian! I am most honoured that you have stopped by on your meanderings to reflect on one of my pieces. Isn't it amazing the way a piece can just bubble up to the surface and overflow onto the page? At least that's how I experimented with it this morning. Needless to say - with Richard's polite "chiding" I managed to make it both more accessible for a quick read. Perhaps it is as Emerson, with such poetric grace said: "THOUGHT IS BLOSSOM, LANGUAGE THE BUD, ACTION THE FRUIT BEHIND IT". Thank you once again. Bonita j

kowque

16 years 2 months ago

“To fall on the sword of

"To fall on the sword of their indifference"..... im planning on sharing this with a friend who has hardened her soles with too much running...running after an idea i truly loved this one :) koki