Seren

Jun 12, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Thief of Dreams

Crushing my hopes
your heel grinding
dust and stone
misting my nights
your aim,erasing my dreams
as if they never were

Life and hope will prevail
days will travel ,
and time shall move on
but you my blood brother?
                                       you,
                                        will still be
                                         a miserable bastard
                                          grasping at the last tendrils of my life

— Seren, Jun 12, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

faerybeki

16 years 12 months ago

Jayne, I love this, it holds

Jayne, I love this, it holds a lot of emotion and I like the shape of it, the slant, there's a real harshness here, it saddens me, my ex was very much like this blood brother of yours. I love the change in tone in the miserable bastard line made me laugh out loud :) great job Jayne, much love b x

Seren

16 years 12 months ago

Awwww (hugz) beki this was a

Awwww (hugz) beki this was a personal write ... glad that you like the miserable bastard line ... you were meant to laugh :P Ok heres the thing I am sure Cat down below knows what I allude to so its only fair I let you know as well ... I found out thursday I have leukemia , have been battling cancer on and off since 06 ... DO NOT FEEL BAD you were meant to laugh at the miserable bastard line ... I am tough and I am going to fight this battle as I have fought for the last few years ... Life wasn't meant to be easy ...but this is just another hurdle and ill clear this one as well ... biggest hugs ... guess the world knows now ... to be honest I am sick of hiding ... glad you liked it , and im glad you laughed at the bastard , I cerainly will be ...much love Jayne x x

faerybeki

16 years 12 months ago

Jayne, you are a tough one,

Jayne, you are a tough one, I can sense that and did have an inkling, from your writing and a few of your comments I've seen dotted about, that you were perhaps struggling with your health. I'm glad in a way that you have said, for now I can target my thoughts (read prayers, if you prefer) and I will be thinking of you, sending more strength to you Jayne, you brave thing, I send some of my spirit to help you in this fight dear woman. Oh and of course lots of hugs!! :) Keep writing hon, I'm sure it can only lend itself to your recovery and healing. And I do so enjoy to read you, much love b xx Ps I'm off on hols for a couple of weeks, leaving today, but I WILL be thinking of you and catch up on your posts upon my return, more love b xx

Seren

16 years 12 months ago

Beki … thanks for your

Beki ... thanks for your words they meen a lot ... Yes I guess I am a tough one , though that was forced on me by circumstances of life more than anything ... Life is hard very hard sometimes .. But I try to get up and do something everyday , even just housework , my Kids are older Trent is 20 , Jacob is 18 , Bethany 15 ,brock 14 .... I am blessed , my children and partner have been the rocks that I lean on daily though I try to be positive for the kids sakes ... all can be cured with the power of Hope as my poem says .... You are very astute Beki I knew there would be a few smart people that would work out my health wasn't the best , but being who I am I wanted people to read my work without the thoughts of my illness in the back of their minds , Thank you for the prayers , and I hope you have a wonderful holiday , seems like everyone is going away at the moment lol ... You take good care and have FUNNNNNNNN :D life should be about laughter an happy things not dwelling in darkness Much love HUGZ Jayne x x x

Candlewitch

16 years 12 months ago

Jayne

Very powerful emotions, here, expressed with perfect clarity. The feelings stay strong throughout the whole poem. So sorry that you have someone like this in your world. Love, Cat

Seren

16 years 12 months ago

My darlin Cat , you are a

My darlin Cat , you are a pure joy for me here at neo and I am sure you knew what this one was about , and as you will see I decided it was time to let people know ... ((((((((((((((((((HUGZ)))))))))))))))) much love Jayne x x

bjp

16 years 12 months ago

Dear Jayne-Chloe,

Doesn't this poem hit with the mass of a flying brick. I had to recoil for a time. Went to bed. Slept. Read it again, in the cool of the morning - a safer place. Look what you have done. The rawness. The strength. The might. It will scare from league distant. This is the effect of the unvarnished life and the gifted poet. This is the present you bring from your hard work. It is quite beautiful. Brian

Seren

16 years 12 months ago

Dear Brian

I hesitated before submitting this one , But im glad I did , I have four or five poems I havent submitted because I felt restraint of a sort , time to emerge and show some of the core of me I guess .... HUGZZZZZZZZZZZ I smiled when I read your comment .... brightened my grey so thank you .... Much love and regard to you both Jayne x x

infinite_dwarf

16 years 11 months ago

Brian's quite correct

JC, I had definitely cringed at the imagery as well (not a bad thing, trust me... it marks a good poet!) The first couple of lines especially, because you sort of get the visualisation of a boot coming down and crushing out a cigarette type of thing. I, too, am sorry that someone like this existed in your life. Am also sorry to hear of your ailments - my head bows in a similar FaeryBeki 'thought'. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Sprawling on the fringes of the city in geometric order an insulated border in between the bright lights and the far un-lit unknown" - Rush

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Jess

So weird I just noticed I had posts on this one didn't get any emails .... Anyway this one is about my leukemia I was a little angry lol so I had a dummy spit .. I find its cathartic to let the emotions out , and now when I do ? everyone knows what I am on ... So in that its made it easier to comment ..(hugz) glad you like it ... Love Jayne x

Kailashana

16 years 11 months ago

I always hesitate before I

I always hesitate before I send the really really personal ones. Almost as if I'm walking on egg shells. Ha. I fly away from the bastards. So do you. ~A p.s. keep em coming, there is no poetry without one or two bastards in one's life. ;-) "There are very few human beings who receive the truth, complete and staggering, by instant illumination. Most of them acquire it fragment by fragment, on a small scale, by successive developments, cellularly, like a laborious mosaic." Anais Nin

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Anna ...

I am the same , its the personal ones the have the power to mark if they fail in some shape or form , when I first arrived at Neo when I did submit poems (personal ones) I always felt I was lacking when people corrected my mistakes , AND I was !! But you wonderful people broke through my thick skull and made me realise I wasn't lacking in character which sometimes I felt , but just needed a foot up ... I was naive to the world of poetry even though I had personally writen and read poetry since I was little , My mother was always reading poetry and instilled in me a love of it , There are bastards out there and I for one am not afriad of calling them out .. we do have that in common lol (hugz) much love Jayne x x

themoonman

16 years 11 months ago

Jayne...

The power presented is quite moving... and even if I didn't know who the thief was it allows the reader to engage their own thief of hopes and dreams... did I mention how much I liked the title... honored to read poems such as this one makes me glad and sad at the same time moved... to the beating heart in this. Richard

Seren

16 years 11 months ago

Richard ..

This one is very personal ... and when I wrote this , I sat for a few hours just thinking how I felt about 'it' , and thought the most honest thing about this is that it hides nothing of itself once it makes itself known , and this is sort of my way of telling it off , I do get pissed off I am human , but like my friend Professor says when I get upset sometimes its when I start writing the raw stuff that isn't half bad .. Thank you for the read and the comment .. love Jayne (hugz)