Race_9togo

Jun 11, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Between Forest And Lake

land and water merge,
limitless beneath a canopy of still leaves,
moss-bound emerald within deep shade of silence,
spreading lichen spiralling the reaching trees
living in the windless warmth of wetness,
thirst a fading memory,
cold a distant promise on the air.

wet reigns saturated,
green ground sucking
every step a tiny pool in tread of footstep
mirroring the wide expanse of sunlit lake
bright where crowding branches' shadows break
against a spread of waving reeds,
a surf of rushing green upon
the edge of blue reflection.

noiseless underneath
the steady drip of water,
redolent with fresh earth wetness,
the scent of slow decay thick
upon the soundlessness
as sunlight slants in shadow
from a narrow chink in armor
of night's promise
to turn the deeply shaded green
to warmth of beaten gold.

— Race_9togo, Jun 11, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth Vicinity (within a five light-year radius), ZZC

Favorite Poets: John Donne, T.S. Eliot, Serendipity, Emily Dickenson, Kailashana, Charles Bukowski, Kabir, Rett, Dalton, W. B. Yeats, William Blake, Rainer Maria Rilke, and many other Neopoet poets; Neopoet has heavily influenced my poetry and my ability to write it well.

Critiques

Janice Pearce

16 years 12 months ago

Between Forest And Lake

Very descriptive Jim, and I could feel myself there. With some punctuation [of wich I am not a master of] I feel it would flow better. _____________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

Race_9togo

16 years 12 months ago

Added it.

Thanks Janice. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

infinite_dwarf

16 years 12 months ago

Jim

Have you ever been to Saranac Lake here in NY? This is what this poem reminds me of. As Janice said, very descriptive, and gives the reader an almost calm feeling. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "So I open my door to my enemies, and ask could we wipe the slate clean? But they tell me to please go fu** myself; you know you just can't win" - Pink Floyd

Race_9togo

16 years 12 months ago

Jess

No I haven't been anywhere in New York except NYC, which seriously rocks. This place is called Willow Slough (like plow) in Indiana. And yes, that is how it feels now, so calm and quiet. I wrote this in the place described...I find myself doing more of this, as time goes on. Thanks Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

faerybeki

16 years 12 months ago

You encapsulate this space

You encapsulate this space beautifully! Now will you please excuse me while I pop my wellies on for another read? :) much love b x

Race_9togo

16 years 12 months ago

Beki

LOL WEEEELLLLLIIIEEESSSS!!!!! God, I used to love those! Go anywhere footwear! LOL Glad you enjoyed this. Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

faerybeki

16 years 12 months ago

Yes, they’re a fantastic

Yes, they're a fantastic invention lol it probably won't suprise anyone to learn that I have a pink pair, with flowers on! :) Seriously good poem Jim, more love b x

deelilah

16 years 11 months ago

Hello Jim

It's so good to see you again. You were gone for a long time, it seems, and then I was. I missed your wonderful descriptions, the ones that take you there and grow on you each time reread. By the way, I am in Indiana right this minute, about to enter Illinois (on 74). Haven't been here in a while. I miss Indiana, Michigan, Illinois and Ohio. Seems we've been between the Dakotas, Minnesota, and California a lot lately. If I could pick a spot for a second home, it would be Byron, Illinois on the Mississippi where 80 connects Illinois and Iowa. Oh, who am I kidding, I can't pick anymore. There are some powerfully great lines in this poem. 'cold a distant promise on the air' And isn't that a good thing. Isn't it weird how when it's warm, you can't remember cold, and vice versa? 'wet reigns saturated' Nice play on words there. 'to turn the deeply shaded green to warmth of beaten gold' Awesome. Always, Deelilah

Race_9togo

16 years 10 months ago

OOps

I completely missed your post! Had some Internet problems with my email, but all fixed now. Awesome....well now PHEW! Thank you so much. I have made some very minor changes, but none in the lines you mentioned - I like them too :) Respectfully Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race

iverhyck

16 years 10 months ago

Reply

A very beautiful picture painted with lots of details. Konstantin.

Race_9togo

16 years 10 months ago

Thanks

Jim "Laws and rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" : Race