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LD
leonard daranjo
Jun 11, 2009 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

vicissitudes of me


I am not a name;I am not an ideaNeither am Ia bundle of feelingsor contradictionsI am not that imageyou hold in a photo framenor a concept that youhold in your mindYou can't incarcerate meby your laws and rules nor chain me to a poleOf your prejudicesYou cant hold me

in the palm of your hand because Iam always in a state of fluxI will escape through your fingerslike a wisp of blue smoke
— leonard daranjo, Jun 11, 2009
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Critiques

themoonman

themoonman

17 years 1 month ago

Leonard...

I do like your style... I am in a constant state of flux myself... in the last line... like, I think if you replaced it with "in a" or even "in wisps of blue smoke"... or, you could simply add the "a"... like "a" wisp of blue smoke. I love the blue smoke idea... goes well with the poem... Richard
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 1 month ago

vicissitudes of me

Leonard, loved the concept of this one, nicely written~ I believe cant is spelled [can't] ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous
LD

leonard daranjo

17 years 1 month ago

Thank you Janice

I am really glad you like this one. Thanks also for pointing out the error. I have corrected it. Leonard
T

Taniaspoetry

17 years 1 month ago

the idea

Hi Leonard Wonderful poem! Love the idea that we can't be framed or boxed in by anyone's version of who we are; or indeed our own perception of self. We can and should move, grow and change for what is life on earth, but a wisp of smoke blowing in timeless winds. Cheers Tania
LD

leonard daranjo

17 years 1 month ago

Thank you Tania

The fact that people try to box you in can be really irritating. You come across many people like this but understanding oneself is hard enough let alone trying to understand others. Thanks again ... Leonard
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

17 years 1 month ago

Hey, I learned a new word!

I see Janice already pointed out the cant -> can't correction. Some person's views can be so stereotypical, can't they? It's nice to break free; nice to be special. Good use of words to describe that sentiment. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "So I open my door to my enemies, and ask could we wipe the slate clean? But they tell me to please go fu** myself; you know you just can't win" - Pink Floyd
LD

leonard daranjo

17 years 1 month ago

Thank you Jess

You are right. People can be so stereotypical that they make not only their but others' lives a drag as well. It is so important to break free and break the monotony. By the way I love the quote by Pink Floyd - so typical of them. They have written some incredible lyrics. Leonard

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