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Bonitaj
Bonitaj
Jun 10, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

SOMEDAY

 SOMEDAY... 
"Write to me someday -when the dust has settledwhen the orchards are blooming and the birds have nestled.Just to find out. You were buildinga house for one, I was flying -cryptically cryingknowing nascent lovehad  just begun.
 How could a fledglingscarcely bornbe  forced to fly from a heart so forlorn?From a breast awakened -so newly torn?
 Some cold and negligent night when flickering flames are burning bright just remember that day's touch.The smouldering passionthat could have meant so much. Remember As the last embers lay dying The  memories start fading,  And  your heart remains defiant -

 to write to me somedayjust to find out..." 

Bonitaj                               june 10 ‘09 
— Bonitaj, Jun 10, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Tip of Southern Africa, ZAF

Favorite Poets: Too many to narrow down, but briefly :, AUDEN, T.S. ELIOT, DICKENSON, RILKE, THOREAU, RUMI ... the list is endless. Am inspired by many, especially those that live lives of "quiet desperation, and go to the grave with a song still in them" (THoreau)

More from this author

Critiques

R

R.M.Shanmugam

16 years 12 months ago

someday

the title is short and apt. language use is excellent.rhythm is addressed by the pattern. theme is unparellel the logic is consistent. as a whole a good poem. shan
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 12 months ago

SOMEDAY

HEllo Shan! Thank you so much for critiquing this poem. After submission and silence yesterday - I thought it had gone unnoticed - only to find you have given it a 5 star rating! (I thought it was quite good too - so it's nice to be validated) Much appreciated. Bonitaj
themoonman

themoonman

16 years 12 months ago

Boni...

Ahhhh... I can tell you where this took me, back to my first broken heart... I still think about that girl... Lori was her name... if I knew where she was, I'd write to her now... lost track, I moved, she moved, our families moved... I was so in love with that girl... I often wonder if she thinks about me, I guess not ehhh... oh well... thirty five years is a long time. enjoyed your poem Boni... felt it needed a bit more in it, maybe something revealing... not sure... Richard
Bonitaj

Bonitaj

16 years 12 months ago

SOMEDAY

Thanks Richard I always sense your heartfelt sincerity in these critiques and that makes them very worthwhile. Sorry - guess I'm a bit flat now - interesting you picked that up! Guess I've been churning out a bit much of late - perhaps I should take a breather for a while.... I shall follow the mood wherever it takes me! Thanks again! You are the MAESTRO! Boni j