Wounded wings

Oh Nina, this is aching poetry, really resonated with me on a number of levels, none the same as your own Rebecca. I have the roots and wings thing written in my scribbling book, it's a philosophy I do my best to adhere to with my Omi :) This poem is wonderful Nina, I love the building analogies, the wings reference (obviously lol) and the potent hope and determination in the last line. An achingly beautiful write and a real gift for your friend I think. Much love b xx

As an abused child I can really relate to this piece so intelligently and artistically written. Five stars all around,and I hope to see this poem in the spotlight very soon. The imagery was supurb. Always, Cat

Nina I felt the dagger stabbing me in the heart over and over again. You must of read my mind as I have just got you PM in it I said you could write something re your raw emotions and here you have already done so Sounds similar to my heart being broken into thousands shards of crystal so shattered is my heart that cannot be put back together. My wings clipped crushed and as velveteen rabbit - magic lost thrown away again in the darkness to remain. with no welcoming arms to pick me up or give me a hug. Electric Blue

Graphic and disturbing. How true: A giant hole inside her Where foundations should have been Anybody with a disturbed childhood could relate to this. I know of many children who have suffered greatly becuase of the neglect, cruelty and indifference of those around them Leonard

leonard daranjo

I do like the tenor of this poem. The first two stanza's, in particular, really are magnetic: A thousand building sites inside her head Some of them half finished Some barely begun From the terrors of her childhood A giant hole inside her Where foundations should have been The metaphors in the last two stanza's do not have the same oomph. Perhaps a slight breakout from metaphor could be considered. I will also mention the word "soul" again. It needs a very light hand - that is, rare use. Otherwise, you risk pulling the reader's minds eye back to every other poem containing the word "soul". Many there are of such poems and most of them are written by a novice hand so the linkage is not usually flattering. There are alternatives and if you just decide that "soul" is a "break glass in an emergency" kind of word, you will undoubtedly invent them. I am not sure this is the time for all the above comments because it takes such a courage to set out one's emotions, and to get all this technical stuff in return seems somehow out of place. But your poem speaks seriously, something I personally adore, and I thought I would do you the honour of a serious critique. Please write again in this voice. It is most touching and appreciated. Affectionately, Brian

too close to home Jess

I must say that this is one of the most rip-your-heart out poems I've read. I personally despise anyone who would harm a child, and hope the deepest, darkest pits in Hell await them. Have you read this to your friend? I'm sure she'd appreciate it very much. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "Sprawling on the fringes of the city in geometric order an insulated border in between the bright lights and the far un-lit unknown" - Rush

Owww Nina, this is gouged from the depths & so extreme, but you carry it well & the end wraps it so brilliantly, with the gentle defience (that tends to work better than angry balme), it is lovely & so very sad... I'm sure most of us can relate even in a small way. Great poem my friend~ Anni ~~~ "So often is the virgin sheet of paper more real than what one has to say, and so often one regrets having marred it." ~Harold Acton, Memoirs of an Aesthete, 1948

are you on my friends list cause if your not you should be I was trolling round as I do and found all these poems I have missed .... this one ripped my heart out and handed it to me and said can I please have some more ... though its so sad , its beautiful I want more of this emotion its so strong and vibrant and alive ... sorry to rave but this affected me deeply ... Love Jayne x x

Congrates on evolution my friend this poem is where it should be ... shining a light for anyone male or female struggling in a difficult situation and showing you can get the hell out and make a decent life for yourself ... I loved it the first time I read it I love it just as much this time round Much love Jayne x x

so many I know the horrors of it the beauty of the wounded in their eyes their hearts their voice haunted like houses on gutted streets pockmarked evidence while the whisper of the trees soothes the crying ghosts the laughing living picking up the day like lucky pennies so many I meet each other day Wonderful graphic written piece Ink A great honour poem to those

Hey Nina, just got an email notice where Cat mentions you hit revolution with this one...as you know I have far less time on Neo for a while, but had to quickly log on to send my congrats for the spotlight. xxx Cheers Anni~ ` "Those who dwell among the beauties & mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life" ~ Rachel Carson Writer/conservationist

I love that poetry can be a compress for the soul. Best Mike

It takes great power for a person to pull themselves up from abuse, and later not become an abuser, because no matter how you try it always lives inside of you. These lines say it all for me in this work of human strength you have written here: "Her wings burnt over and over again Until she crashed in darkness" I believe you read my poem "A Home for Revenge (prose, truth written in fiction)" For me it takes a lot of inner strength to write or read this because the memories begin to flash across my mental screen. (mental as in a troubled mind) still today I fight my demons, but I guess its better to fight than trying to hide them as if they never were, as I did before when I was young. great piece of writing my friend, but I guess I'm bias because I always enjoy your work, and mental acrobatics. thanks, Eddie

Darby Cain