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SR
send my roots rain
Jun 01, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The chaos below the belt feeds my notions

My inspiration lingers like the scent of lovemaking or lust. Keep on, muse, My sweet lover, You, my locomotive, send me places deep into the lip of the earth Where it is silent and warm, Like the womb or between my sheets. I curl up and you hug me and your hands travel up my side. Your hands: tasers, electric shocks, lightning bolts. They only strike once. Am I the lucky one? Will your touch singe my hair and fry my insides? You touch me and I see things that aren’t there. Perhaps I will become a genius with the shock of it all or Go insane searching the universe for patterns. I’ll allow your touch. Make me see things. I will take you inside me, Impatient and awkward. You make me feel anxious, My favorite feeling. Go ahead: pummel me. I’ll allow it. Take the all of me, I welcome the devastation of your touch.
— send my roots rain, Jun 01, 2009

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Bonitaj

Bonitaj

17 years ago

I’m intrigued by the title

I'm intrigued by the title - reminiscent of Dylan Thomas - THE FORCE THAT THRU THE GREEN FUSE...? Language usage was good although a little forced at times eg How can anxiety seem like a "favourite feeling?" - or a copy from famous poets cf. "deep into the lip of the earth" D.H.Lawrence THE SNAKE. As a woman I found it interesting to be "on the receiving end" of a man's thought processes during seduction/sex. You captured that well. Thought the last line fitting in terms of a certain desire to be "enraptured, captured" - surrendering as it were - to a situation beyond control! From someone who describes that feeling best I give you RUMI: "HOLD ME IN THE FIRE AND IF I DIE - AT LEAST I'LL KNOW FOR WHOM AND WHY..." well done Boni
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

17 years ago

I am impressed, though not a

I am impressed, though not a comfortable read, I don't expect you meant it to be, it is edgy & raw & makes the reader squirm, but the style is good & life is like this sometimes. This poem evoked a great deal in me, I think that is the sign of good writing in a way. Cheers~ Anni ~~~ "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything." -Anon