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barbsdad2003
Jun 01, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

rents




rents

it'd be wrong
fer me to claim
I own this here
real estate, this
here proppity---

this here house,
this front'n backyard,
this great big lawn,

those them woods
runnin' back'n forth
along the crick ...

nor own out over
to the middle of
that same sad
excuse fer a crick.

(a middle
what shifts
with its floodin'
an' easin' so's
I don't quite never
know fer a certain
where it is.)

if
I own
all this
here
proppity---

which I
do not!---

I wouldn't pay rents,
now, would I?

I pay rents.

guv'mint
owns it,
owns it all.

I pay rents.

last I heard,
they call it
proppity taxes---

but it's rents.

really it
is, truly.

guv'mint
let me stay here
s'long's I pay.

an' if I don't,
I'm outta here
so's someb'dy
else can pay.

taxes ain't
the right word fer it.

rents is.

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Country/Region: USA

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Comments

whitetea

whitetea

16 years 11 months ago

i like the southern slant

i like the southern slant you put in this. and I completely agree. even if a property is paid for, its still subject to all kinds of exceptions, you can still lose it. moving past that part of it, you are very right. its the idea we can pour so much money or effort into a thing, but what does it count for if what you will continue to owe is indefinite? and what does that say of the fate of a man if we spend so much time scrambling for what should seem to be so basic? its something to think about.
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 11 months ago

not sure about this 'un Chuck

Usually in the past when I have critted your works it turned out I had completely failed to understand it. But I can't help feeling that it would be stronger if we felt the speaker had a deeper connection to the land itself. What do you think? cheers, Jess Forever unwrapping the eternal present.
B

barbsdad2003

16 years 11 months ago

As ...

the protagonist'v this here piece, I'm not so well connected to land that feels like it jus' bein' rent---with no possible of ownin'. Not rilly. Since the guv'mint's got the hones'-to-god control'v it. The end'v-the-road say'v it. So f'it not mine, I'm not fillin' like I got connections like it'd sooner be thataway. (In truth, I do have difficulty with the concept of private ownership of land being such a falsehood, an untruth, an abstraction at odds with reality, a concept that seems at odds with what might feel like ownership to a supposed "landowner" forever vulnerable to government takeover of "his/her" land. I understand (believe?) at a very deep level that no one has a right to ownership of land in an existential/spiritual sense. But I'd also say that in that sense government's in the same position; it also has no right. Hope I'm making sense here.) Yours, Chuck PS: I might add: The strength in this piece derives from its humor. The serious undertone (undertow?) is but a byplay. And the moment a discussion pertaining to it turns sober serious, it's sort of like saying, "This is a joke because ...," which takes the fun/funny out of it. And strips it of its power like Delilah giving Samson his (perhaps long-overdue) haircut.
weirdelf

weirdelf

16 years 11 months ago

ah, of course.

Aboriginals say they the land doesn't belong to them, they belong to the land. Unfortunately Europeans took this as further incentive to take it from them. cheers, Jess Forever unwrapping the eternal present.
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

16 years 11 months ago

rents

Chuck, LOVED THIS ONE!! ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous
B

barbsdad2003

16 years 11 months ago

Thanx be ...

to you. Appreciate your read/comment. Also notice you've commented on at least a few other of my recent posts---which I also appreciate. I'm squeezed for time at the moment. Perhaps tomorrow I can respond to other comments of yours. And take a look at your profile to see what you've been up to. Thanx much. As usual, Chuck
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blistered-pen

16 years 11 months ago

question.

what's the crick? :) I don't think I've ever read anything of yours.. but I liked this, although at some parts I had to pause and figure out what some of the southern slang-y lingo words were. :) I especially liked this line : ' an’ if I don’t, I’m outta here so’s someb’dy else can pay. ' it's like.. nothing is ever really yours. it's only yours until you.. don't need it, can't use it, or can't pay for it like you said. kudos, for the illustration.
B

barbsdad2003

16 years 11 months ago

Believe it or ...

not, I was a child once. Lived in Oregon for a time on a small farm. Everybody said crick for creek. Didn't know what "creek" was till much later. (And still, many, many decades later, I can slip easily into saying crick for creek.) So as to southern slant herein, I'm merely borrowing the rural Oregon speech that certainly prevailed in that time of my history among at least some of my family ... and among most of the distant neighbors and other folks round about my then domicile. I make this point partly to suggest that to tag the language of this piece as southern misses the mark. Unless southern matches up with "northern," in this case Oregon. A place definitely not southern. And thanx much for the read ... and comment. Appreciate it. Always, Chuck