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C
colourfulmary
May 27, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

encounter - first and last

Putting me aside
just passing by with upright pride

then

tenderness  for small critters

sharing bitter sense of humors

whistle, dazzling and giggling

fledgeling Rosellas overhead

 

You have shown me the glow in your face

there was a space for me inside you

your soul reached under my skin
I know you have looked through me

 

we were both remnant 

trying to shelter a bud in wreckage life

 

your arms fold around own abdomen

the hand dyed dress reaches your angular ankles

blanched hair tells me your sand storming life

 

I won't ask where you are 

but I do hope you are not in cold



— colourfulmary, May 27, 2009

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Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

17 years ago

Strange encounter...

This came as strange, but a good strange...an intriguing kind of write...almost a vagabond like feel. Found a few rough spots. "Your arms fold around own abdomen", I found that a little bit of an awkward line to read. But this so beautifully written, I really love it. Peace n Love Katie
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colourfulmary

17 years ago

Dear Katie,

Dear Katie, Thank you kindly for commenting to my piece and sharing your mind. I agree with you. “Your arms fold around own abdomen” is very stiff. Instead of that, what do you think about "holding guts in own arms" ? This is the back ground. And it's kinda important for me mentioning her stomach here. I remember she standing with her straight back with covering upper abdomen. At first, I thought she was pregnant - tho she was a bit old for that. A month late after we met, I heard the news she passed away. She had untreated terminal cancer in her intestine. I wanted to preserve her somehow, just as I saw. Not what she told me or other people said to me late on. That is stopping me touching about her pain, courage, end so on. But I can't help feeling sad about that. Very best, Mary
Rett

Rett

17 years ago

Mary

I like this. It is a tad rough but very charming and sincere. The structure is a bit odd, but all in all, I really do like this. Kudos! Good one. Respectfully, Rett: "God made an idiot for practice, then he made a school board." Mark Twain For the sake of children, read this. http://www.neopoet.com/node/19905
C

colourfulmary

17 years ago

Dear Rett,

Dear Rett, Thank you for stopping by and leaving your comment here. Have you ever experienced that some total stranger opened up themselves to you in first meeting? That's what I wanted to write about except I also opened up towards this unfamiliar woman. Very best, Mary