Changing Moods

I rather like it. As you pointed out, tt doesn't take much to change the mood. This reminded me of a long-forgotten memory from childhood. In elementary school, we had a coloring contest and the child who won not only used markers instead of crayons (gasp!) but colored her sky, trees and grass all the "wrong" colors (double gasp!)-pink leaves, green sky, purple grass and so on. My conventional sense was outraged. Sometimes the objective world doesn't match the subjective world. The point here is that now I'm able to appreciate your unconventionally truthful coloring. Should "prompt" be "prompts"? I'm unclear whether all those things are prompting the shift or just the raven's sigh.

For all of my poems that you've commented on, I feel kinda bad that is one of the few (if any that I remember) that I've commented on....yeesh. Anyways, I liked this one, the shifting colors and such. It's a great little poem. Good job. Peace N Love Katie

some powerful imagery you have here. I love the first stanza ("and it all turned blue"), but I think you should have a closer look at the second stanza again, there's something amiss...As soon as I can put my finger on it, I will come back to this. Yours, ~Nina

I like the poem. Is like a changing of mood with the squashing of bug! lol. Ravens are so ominous.. i feel you need another verse. Something to clarify his arrival.. or just to tie the two verses together. The flavor is good.. a bit abstract, but then, i like abstract too! Always, Tonya

And must've been fun write, too. Herebelow I've brazenly played with it a bit, abbreviating niggardly ... and bringing it into more present tense. Any of my play you like, just take. And if you don't like any of it, don't take. Of course. Regardless, it's yours. -- as to Hopelessly lost in the absolute yellows I stepped on a bug and it all turned blue abbreviated: [h]opeless lost in absolute yellows I step on a bug and it all turns blue --- as to blue trees blue bees then a bird hushes in and the sigh of the raven prompts the shifting of hue abbreviated: blue trees blue bees then a bird [r]ushes in and the sigh of raven prompts a shifting of hue --- Many multiple regards as usual, Chuck PS: The delicacy of this piece is particularly appealing. Charming. Even gratifying/fulfilling.

Like life, our day go from blue to black, with only the whisper of the ravens wings. Unusual but deep

wonderful co-writing, the poem seems so much more complete. Thumbs up for you and Tonya! Yours, ~Nina

Makes sense that stepping on the wrong sort of bug will change your mood right quick! Nice short-n-sweet little write. --------------------------------------- "Until that ‘morrow render unto me That which is mine my stipend well deserved The fairest flower of your progeny Your sons, your daughters your hopes and your dreams The cruel consequence of your conceit" - Steve Earle

This is a terrific poem. It contains a treat of an idea: the dislocation of mood amid the expectations of the other. It is a chronic issue in all community, rarely addressed so evocatively, and particularly the experience of associations of poets where the emotive atmosphere is charged and ever in flux. My favorite stanza is the last: mellow to callous absolute of actions my opaque disruption expected as if on cue The solution seems unspoken but is the outing of the issue - the writing of the poem. I think it is excellently done. Technically you are growing by bounds. I am also happy to see the collaboration involved. Bravo! bjp

and nicely complete. Kudos. Have you considered alternatives for "absolute"? As in perhaps despotic or exacting? Not sure of your meaning behind absolute. But checked thesaurus anyway ... just for an idea or two. Again, Chuck

Long time no see, what you smoking? I am sorry but this is more than odd. It sure got me to laughing, reminded me of the 70's. Patty

Hi Richard, I like this puzzling poem just the way it is. I think it is a powerful little piece and quite thought provoking! Isn't it odd how somethings just spring forth out of us. I feel fortunate having read this unique poem. Always, Cat

you got some definite originality points on this one. i like the sway of this.

You are one popular guy Richard, but it is as deserved as your poetry is inspiring. love the last line kicks ass mate to put it in a callous way. brent

100 percent agreement with Candlewitch. Chuck

why the hell not? Love you too, Chuck

Wonderfully weird little write Richard, and why am I always so late to your parties eh? lol fashionably so maybe? Great abstract thing this is and oh my favourite colour is yellow :) I always feel bad if I step on something I haven't seen, squashing life, makes me feel blue indeed! Hope you're well my moonman? much love b xx

Sometimes I think you have so much comment material to respond to (and you're a very good responder)that if I write more, you will think 'enough already' give me a break. But, no breaks for you pal. You write the comment worthy material and you're in for the term. I like the abstract thinking in colors. 'Opaque disruption' very interesting counter to the colors. There's always a veil between our reception and the reality (maybe) it seems. Kudos to Tonya also. Yours, Deelilah