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S
Skumpfsklub
May 27, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Easter Bunny

 He liveth deep in burrows honey sweet

And sheweth not a lagomorphic nose

Nor any trace of cryptic coney feet

Between the stones, nor underneath the rose

 

On air he hopped, too swift to bend the grass

Than thistledown he has a lighter touch

No ear but his can hear him if he pass

The keenest senses catch not very much

 

With secret sweetmeat signals deftly set

To mark his yearly visit every spring,

The coded candy children gather yet,

What message does the Easter Bunny bring?

 

In baskets now, so many colored eggs,

Kaleidoscopic sweets and jelly beans

Are borne by weary kids on tired legs

Who lack the slightest clue of what it means.

 

Yet I myself know nought: the secret's lost

Without belief, I hid those clumsy lies

I made last night (the time I spent small cost).

The better hidden treat, the sweeter prize.

 

The children like shrill thunder shake the ground

Triumphant tots rejoice in what they've found

And I take pleasure in the happy sound,

As frightened voles take shelter underground.



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Jonathan Moore

Jonathan Moore

16 years 11 months ago

I love a well constructed poem

And while I realise some people prefer free-verse, it is a shame they never try out structured verse if only to realise the challenge of fitting in a thought to fit an established pattern. Let's take the line: "Nor any trace of cryptic coney feet" Sure you could have free-versed it as something like: "And there was no mark to disturb the dust and dirt of the passing of the Rabbit" And some would have applauded the choice and vision and structure and that's fine. But an observation was recently made elsewhere on this site, in a detrimental sense, of rhyme and meter, declaring that it limited the poet's voice and, as I have said before, that's just plain crap. Iambic Pentameter takes planning and thought and work to make it seem spontaneous and flowing and it is a joy to read when done compentently. And I loved the "As frightened voles take shelter underground" line. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)
S

Skumpfsklub

16 years 11 months ago

I'll declare my position straighforwardly

Free verse mostly sucks. Sure, there is a handful of people who do free verse well. I expect that the last of those will be dead by week's end. That's not entirely a joke: free verse casts a heavy burden on the deep language skill of the poet. Wild raw talent is all very good--but it ain't raw talent that makes free verse work. It's skill, practiced again and again, by a poet whose eyes, ears and imagination are soaked in experience--emphatically, NOT just in his/her own perceptions, but in experience borrowed from others. The free verse poet who sings only an alien song to unhearing ears is missing the point. A vague and incomprehensible mystery remains vague and incomprehensible. The skilled free verse poets manage to get something across. And this to me seems to imply that I'm gonna have to wait a few more decades before I drift into free verse. I'm only sixty-two. Hardly enough experience in that--moreover, there are a lot of other people around me, whose ears and understandings remain unknown to me. But if I stick with my silly formal jingles, I can pay some poetic dues--enough to stay in the guild hall, anyway, as a hanger-on, and moocher of drinks. Therefore, I vow: I will write no free verse poems unless the thought is so small that it's essentially an aphorism--in which case, I'll label it so. I will write only of so much as I have confidence of transmitting to a substantial majority of my listeners--and nine times out of ten, it will have an obvious and simpleminded structure. This I swear before the Muse who is fiddling with my zipper right now--so, uh, I think I'm getting distracted here. More detailed response later, maybe.
infinite_dwarf

infinite_dwarf

16 years 11 months ago

Skump!!!

You've gone away, and came back with a wonderful poem! I loved the flowing rhyme of the piece, and the question of the present Bunny asks the reader to pause and reflect. I agree with Jon - well constructed write. Welcome back. ~Jess K. ----------------------- "So I open my door to my enemies, and ask could we wipe the slate clean? But they tell me to please go fu** myself; you know you just can't win" - Pink Floyd
O

orgami

16 years 11 months ago

station to station (reply to reply)

"Free verse sucks" and from an era much changed and now Myself getting up there (44) I can see the love of structured poems there is much much work done to write in structure a passion a love a need or orderliness to words and the language free verse is like trying to read without glasses Its fuzzy and vague and as you say the real talent is skill which i wholeheartedly agree I read the ancient John Milton and other lit now I myself prefer freeform but enough of me this poem is very well crafted I liked the sublte guise the bunny has like sepia his meaning at all beyond childhood (Only in childhood is he coloured) the eggs the grasses I can sense are green the vole grey or dark brown depending on light season a thoroughly charming rendition of the "Bunny (Holy), Day"
S

Skumpfsklub

16 years 3 months ago

Why write another faux

Why write another faux comment, you ask? Because the poems I'm doin' that for today have not been visited a hundred times yet---and their 'visits' include a substantial number of 'visits' engendered by my returns to the pieces, and some spurious 'visits' that appear to be artifacts of bugs in the program. So, get used it: I keep recommenting until I feel that the poem has had enough exposure to lend value to the numbers.