The Big Mistake

WOW!! That's a journey no one wants to take, but sadly enough most do jump on the train. It's a ride with few station, and hard to find where is your particular exit. I love it short a to the point, showing incredible Love and pain!! I Love these last two lines, they say so much of our human fragility. "Lingering like a fleeting mist Here today gone tomorrow" For me it worked just as it is!!! Thanks, Eddie

Barbara, Love this one, except the last line. Just a line so overused [my opinion only so take or leave it~] Nicely done! ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

Firstly i would like u to know how great is the structure of your poem, it goes well to me from the first stanza to the last, although i didn't quite understand the very last one in which you said------Here today gone tomorrow. Love and light paparazii

Barbara, Sorry it took so long to get back to you. I like the ending a lot better. If I interpret this correctly. _____________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

I think there has been some rewrites since you first started this. As it stands today, it sounds just right. It always amazes me how universal poetry is. Do we all have the same experiences in some way or another? 'She wonders where her journey ends Pondering faces everywhere' To me this sounds like this person is waiting, if nothing else, just to lay eyes on him again. 'Lingering in those after thoughts Like a fleeting mist he’s gone' Not really thinking about the past too much anymore, but wishing for just one more moment. Yours, Deelilah Loved the poem.