Tale of the Guf

In a Cascade night fell
graceless
twilight's last recall
rays final reach
horizon her nemisis

(The lords grace
once bountiful
now bare)
A gentle sparrow
arrested
paradise wrenched
Before earth
once abundant
engulfed her heart
Love saturated lungs
gasped breath
sang arias
melodies of joy
anthems of the ages
aural blessedness
Seventh heaven
(the guf)
last soul
Departing
grace empty
earth barren
hope evaporated
numbered finite souls
trickling to be
diminished
earth trembling
shaking spirit
fire spewing
humus burning
light gone
millennia
Our avian herald
trilling a finale …
Reverberating
Sparrows tribute
an Aria for life …

— Seren, May 22, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Critiques

Just Cory

17 years ago

Nice

ah...'love saturated lungs'...I know that feeling. Very nice crescendo (sp?). I like it!

Seren

17 years ago

Cory

Havn't been well so sorry for the delay in answering this was a rough write and I'm sure with my rewrites will change this totally .. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment always much appreciated ... Off to read you dont think I've had the pleasure :) Love Jayne x

Seren

17 years ago

Thanks Julie , Sorry I took

Thanks Julie , Sorry I took so long to answer didnt get a email for this comment ... but your right this was a rough write and I will change it a little in the rewrite ... Thank you for the ideas and im going to steal both katra and essense for the rewrite if you don't mind too much .. thanks for reading hun much appreciated (hugz) Love J x

Craig Norris

17 years ago

Hey Seren

This is cool, and I wonder sometimes how many ever really listen. You know there's a couple of typos? Is line 2 in the second stanza, gulf? and Avian herald. Love that line love saturated lungs sung arias. Thats pretty awesome.

Seren

17 years ago

Craig

Heya thanks for the comment much appreciated ... and for the herald I missed that when I submitted it lol ... the Guf should be there ... the poem is about a jewish myth ... the story goes that when a baby is born and its soul comes down from heaven only the sparrows can see the soul , so they sing to herald its arrival on earth .. They say when the hall of souls(the Guf) is empty that the sparrows song will cease and that the earth will end and that there will be silence on earth ... there is much more to the story but when I edit it I will put a few bits in I forgot when I wrote this wasn't well so im blaming that LOL .. love this story I hope with rewrites I can do it justice Love J x

Craig Norris

17 years ago

Thanks J

Thanks for giving me a little heads up on the Guf, that's a great tale, and I shall listen more keenly for sparrows trilling now. They're a bit hard to spot out this way, which is curious, because there are a lot of kids around. I was there with the biblical references, kind of, not exactly my strong suit, but now I feel somewhat inducted (into the hall of Guf). Craig

Seren

17 years ago

No prob's

I sorta guessed you havn't heard of it and it is an obscure story not many people know of it but it was featured in a movie with Demi Moore in the 80's called the Seventh sign ... I just love the story of the sparrows song its so beautiful ... and the only reason I know anything biblical is cause me Dad is an elder in the church made sure we had a thorough education LOL he he LOL had to laugh at the inducted into the hall of guf ... Love Jayne-chloe ... (J)

Craig Norris

17 years ago

Yep maybe we could start recycling

There could be an opportunity in this, lease out a little floor space, get a little turn over thing happening. Apartments with a view, tired of the same old options, try Guf. Sorry Craig

Seren

17 years ago

LMAO !!!!! dont ever be

LMAO !!!!! dont ever be sorry for having a sense of humor pmsl I love that Love J x