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LD
leonard daranjo
May 22, 2009 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Counterpoint

There is a thing about wordswhich is articulately inadequate;there is a thing about silencewhich reveals more than intendedThere is a thing about warmthwhich has a chilling reminiscence ;there is a thing about coldwhich is refreshingly invigorativeThere is a thing about laughterwhich smacks of untruth;There is a thing about tearswhich is pristine and trueThere is a thing about companywhich is forbiddingly lonely;there is a thing about lonelinesswhich is free from hypocrisyThere is a thing about innocencewhich is receptive to wisdom;there is a thing about knowledgewhich makes you a prisonerThere is a thing about lifewhich bears the shadow of deaththere is a thing about deathwhich makes you value your life
— leonard daranjo, May 22, 2009
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Critiques

Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 2 months ago

Counterpoint

Leonard, There is a thing about poems that keep me coming back to read more~ Nicely done~ ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous
LD

leonard daranjo

17 years 1 month ago

Said like a True Poet

Where do you keep disappearing to my poet friend? Haven't been seeing much of you these days. Thank you for your support. A friend always ... Leonard
Janice Pearce

Janice Pearce

17 years 1 month ago

Counterpoint

Always be here, busy season winding down now. I'll be able to read and contribute more now. ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 1 month ago

Leonard...

I am not a fan of repetitive lines in poetry, but sometimes it works so well... and here you show us how to do it, by adding a crisp wisdom with each line... I read it three times out loud, could read it again but I thought it flowed really well from me... the only thing I saw at all was "your" in the last line, I felt was unneeded, so in my last read out loud I omitted it... but, it works with it too. thought it was excellent poetry... glad to have the chance to read you... Richard
LD

leonard daranjo

17 years 1 month ago

Hi Richard

I agree with you about the "Your". In fact I removed it but when I did, I felt it was interfering with the rhythm. That's why I reinstated it. Leonard
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 1 month ago

Leonard...

I felt the "your" wasn't needed for thought flow, but for the rhythm I believe you are right to keep it... either way it works for me out loud... but it did seem a bit short without it... thanks for looking at it... Richard
T

Taniaspoetry

17 years 1 month ago

Counterpoint

Hi Leonard, This poem is a distillation of a lifetime of learning and discovery Wise without being over bearing - a fine balancing act Cheers Tania

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