Slice me like a cirrus curl across my cheek (words you never bring me OR For whom you dress your words)

Oh yeah, the "killing jar", sigh, I do know that feeling, I wish we could undo oursleves from the places our hearts take us sometimes... Pinned the the board, wings stiff & splayed, eyes dull as the light of love leaks out from abandonment & smug resistence to empathy & care a dried out husk of what was once so ripe & sweet & full the prize Oooh lordy did I just write that? There's the tiniest tad of bitterness in there, I really thought I felt none... sigh... again! Hmm tonight you get an even darker version I also thought I avoided the darker side (use the force Luke), I am being illuminated this evening, Oh dear! Seriously Steven I am so glad the combination appealed to you my friend, it was one of those instant response things after I read something this morning... However, at this end of the day I am somewhat annoyed with myself for writing yet another peice about someone who just turned their back on me at the worst of times & in such a way, still not sounding my best I'm afraid, I'm still sick that's my excuse (damn I know it's best to have a bigger perspective, much worse things happen I know full well). Maybe I'm better doing instant response writes. Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Hey Jess, well thanks, how funny I would not have thought of this as sleek & sensual, that's another perspective I guess, & of course I'm not complaining... it was just a blehhh write. & honey I would not be pouting if I were you (though cutely done), you have your own style & are well acknowledged for it as far as I can see. I've been writing songs for 30 years, titles were my favourite part & I still don't always cut it. ~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Thanks Anna, always a treat to see you here, I feel more content now if you feel it's ok to have all 3, though it looks a bit clumsy to me. You inspire a great deal of respect from me. Ta for the hugs of love, nice thing. Cheers~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Hi bjp,I fell asleep yesterday before getting to this, I keep trying to go back to work when this flu thing seems a bit better then ending up absolutely frazelled, yesterday seemed like an extreme, I didn't like myself much by the end of the day (when I was responding to these comments), I wonder if that's what you were referring to in todays comment below which I have only partially read so far? Sometimes in your comments there is such extraordinary poetic generosity, I am sure you are aware of this, & yes, it is one of the things that inspires me greatly, I feel honoured, as I'm sure I've said before. As for the maturity thing, I am not so sure, I would hope I am improving, since that is my aim, & challenging myself IS very important, but I find there have been a few comments about my writing maturing on works that I actually wrote long before ever finding Neopoet. I think it's more that I have more voices (as you put it) than people tend to expect from me. I have been writing a long time, but completely in isolation (except for my songs no-one really knew of my writing, so I think you probably progress more slowly without feedback & encouragement), but I also admit that it may well be true & since some may see it or be looking for it, it is sometimes attributed to works that are not so relevant? It matters little in the big picture I think, unless a specific new direction is required to be encouraged which I suspect might be your point (though I could be wrong). I think it is important to remember that most artists of any kind, go through phases with writing, painting, sculpting etc. Some may be more appealing than others, & generally one "matures" I suppose, but one may regress in some folks eyes as well, I am still trying to look at this maturing thing here? Among these amazing flourishes of your language here I feel you throw such beautiful treats, but always accompanied by concepts that for me are slightly barbed with "challenge" (which is also treat in it's way)... I never thought of myself as competitive at all especially in spirit, I shall have to delve, though I probably would prefer not to, truth is truth even if the picture isn't pretty, if it isn't the truth it isn't pretty anyway, for me, false beauty is more ugly than honest hideousness. Your last paragraph is intriguing, there is much in there to ponder, the language you use has an exciting ambiguity sometimes, it requires focus & a real sense of completely stripped down personal honesty for me to decipher, which is both your challenge & my joy (perhaps this is one of the (secret) things you claim to know). Intelligence is such a wonderful thing to aspire to. But if I interpret correctly I would say this in response, I have been living with this "duality " if you like, of creativity most of my life, the pain/comfort, serious/flippant, grief/joy. Life has handed me access to extremes (& I am so grateful, otherwise I would have drowned with all the tragedies I have witnessed or been through, writing has been one of the major ways to express, assimilate & find peace with all of this (no I am not bi-polar or anything like that, have just been through a lot... possibly like many writers I suspect), so don't be concerned, if this is a new direction I will muddle through as I always have, & be grateful for new insights & knowledge, & hope it settles at some stage down the track, into wisdom. Thank you might have covered all this, I am not sure? But I am sure you know of my gratitude~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Hey lovely Beki, thank you sweet one... I will say (THANK GOODNESS) I finally no longer ache for this lost love, it was an illusion even when I felt it true, though it has it's true pull for certain. Yesterday I was so cross with myself for feeling any of this, today I feel benevolent again (phew! much prefer that place), the way he was truly inspired my love, I see glimpses of it still, in those distant shows I occassionally glimpse, I can see why I would be inspired to feel so deeply, & you are right, love doesn't leave, once felt, I will always hold it in my heart, very few exceptions to that, so good on you & Nanci. Never mind you sharing lovely generous sister, use my space any time for that, I figure the more good in the world the better, & I know you are good. Funny you connected with St Cecilia, I wrote that for one of my gorgeous students who was in such a dark place & singing lessons pulled her out in a big way, she says it was me, but it was her, I watched it, brilliant! Now she writes lots & wants to perform, I'm so proud of her. Was hard at the time, watching her teater on the edge, I wanted to grab her & run, couldn't bare that she might submit to that depression. Of course some of it has me in it too, because I knew what it was like to be where she was, that's why I felt so passionate about it (& you would too, I know it)... & as for poor old Cissy, I saw this painting of her submitting to her doom & wondered why we spent so much adoration & admiration on martyrs, we should be admiring those that faught & got away... so I wanted to grab Cecilia & fly through the woods, instead of her lying there submitting, her violin discarded on the ground. Martyrs just perpetuate that misery is an honourable thing... no no no, I say, no blaspheme intended. Sure we could sing, I want everyone to sing (bet you have a gorgeous voice). I am a part of a big community of singing group leaders here, there are tons of groups all over Australia, there's probably many in the UK as well, you should find one, they are such an incredibly moving medium. My choir is my heart & soul on some levels, I love every single one of them, even over the years as they've changed the heart remains they are brilliant & we have so much fun & cry together & laugh & sound incredible, many of them say it has saved their lives or at least made their live a million times better, I have a bundle or beautiful cards & letters with tear inspiring messages... I always encourage people to bring their little ones too, they add to the joy, I can see if there are any near you if you like, or you could do it yourself. Let me know xxx~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Dearest Richard, each time I get a comment from you I grow more & more fond of you, you are very perceptive & hold a humble wisdom that I think you underestimate even yourself. Thank you for your beautiful encouragement, & thank you for saying you always saw something in my work, lately I've been a bit confused with feedback saying I was maturing as a writer especially when it was on old writes I posted when I was feeling too unwell to write much... I can't tell you how much it meant to me to read that (not that I am complaining about any other feedack, just that I felt somehow diminished, might be due to extended ill health, not used to feeling this vulnerable, starting to get to me I think... any way, you made me feel so good saying that, thank you). As for the subject of the poem, I feel more myself today, he needs no smack in the forehead, his loss (mine too, but in the end he did me a big favour), sadly I feel he would never actually embrace love, not mine or anyone's, that's worse that a smack in the forehead, I hope I am wrong, I hope he does transform it, I wish it for him. He creates what he is comfortable with though in the end, distant adoration of a throng of women or one, that he can manage like kite strings, never getting too close, he is a master at it, I can't help but admire his skill. I just hope no one else gets so heart broken as I did, if they do I hope the lesson was worth it. I guess, that's all we can hope. Anyway, as I've said it is over, it hardly hurts any more, though it may always hold sadness for me, & today I have my skin back on so I am not so cross about having written yet another poem about my ex love, our hearts are the well where we often fish for our creativity, there should be no shame as long as there is honesty & integrity. Thanks again for your lovely sensitive & encouraging comments Richard xxx~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Thanks Sharon, I wondered if the first title might be too cryptic (it is rather, I know) but it seems no one has a problem with it which is good. PS love the pic, you look like you are having a fabulous little opine there! Cheers~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Hi JayC you are spot on there, that's exactly how it is. & as the day wore on yesterday & my tiredness warped my usual optimism, I felt more & more annoyed with myself that he should remain so constant in my life when he'd turned his back so cruelly at a time I was so vulnerable (& to me, for no real reason... but that MY perspective I guess, I will never really know, he says he was busy, but later the story changed). In any case, today, I know full well why it is, & it's because the beauty of that part of him that woo'd me, is so potent & so worthy actually, it is undeniable, & as Beki points out via Nanci (& I have no doubt you are with us on this), real love can't just disappear, it remains, I will always love that ghost, & that ghost is all he will offer me these days, I get less than strangers do from him, that's a little ouchy, but it's just how it is & I have to choose it & bring freedom & peace to it (that's my magic spell for relieving those things we can't change, it works wonders if you can really surrender to it). Hope you are well girl, congrats on your stint in lime light, am trying to catch up on stuff I still want to read & comment on, apols I am slow this week. Cheers~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Dear Ann, you ALWAY, ALWAYS make me smile so much, you have a magic about you my treasured friend... Hmmm the pepper scent, now THAT makes me sad! Scent is SUCH a strongly evocative sense, provoking almost physical sensations in response, as you well know my lovely Ann of passions unfortold (yet I read it inderneath your writing & your comments, I know it from the depth of poetry you share)... See these 2 things you have pinpointed are, for me, among the strongest sensuous triggers hidden in this write & you have picked them... trust you to figure the hidden subtle potencies of lust & sensuality dear Ann (don't mean to dob you in, just think it is a mark of your unsung & unacknowledged brilliance). Lovely one your critique is enticing, makes me want to go read my own poem! You make it sound so good dear one (chuckle)... thank you lovely Ann, your friendship is such a precious thing, I cherish it & your wonderful words on my pages here, I feel blessed. Mmmm brilliant my friend ...."dear Anni of Australia where the Winter of your feelings smoulders yet"... damn that winter of my feelings! (chuckle!)... I will even forgive that terrible pun (snicker) on cumulus & accumulate... har har har! Much love to you Ann of Norway where spring bows to summer & your migrate to more populated housing, I do hope it's lovely there, I can see some of it's gems now with my lovely book, I shall treasure that too xxx ~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Hiya again O' mmm I must reread, I did not think it was a "bite" write, nor as Ann metioned did I think there was any anger... we DO need perspective sometimes to see these things, or maybe it's a perception thing on others part, but I will go back & read with open mind, it is good to be informed. I have done bites, but I try to avoid them (you know "love peace & ju ju beans" or whatever that saying is) I much prefer harmony & peace everywhere, & if you want it you have to BE it. Look he just did what he did, it almost killed me at the time, but we are better off, well, I am for certain, I just miss him, that's all, I still don't see it was necessary to remove himself the way he did. He acts indifferent, but I don't think he is, he has an extraordinary heart (& yes it is terribly scarred or he would be able to embrace love & hold it close) & I love him deeply I'm afraid, & there is a sense of being shut out of paradise, because that's what I felt we could have had at the time... in truth I doubt it would be possible, but I wanted to believe he could transform his patterns of rejection). Ah well, what was, was & it is well over. I am glad to hear you talk realistically about you & Lori, it is life that it isn't always a fairytale but if you know to keeop creating love & I see you doing that, that's what makes it work. If you bask in my words then you have an idea about how so many of us feel about YOUR words my friend, you are such a master of poetry & you inspire me hugely. OHHH & "Man in the moon Marigold" I remember it! & being so impressed. Saw it probably over 20 years ago (went to Swinburne & hung about with the "Film & Telly" students, sometimes being an extra in their productions was fun, got exposed to good film art), must search it out... I met a dear friend when I was in Mexico, a socialist from Sydney, we wrote to each other for about 12 years, we met when a bunch of us were playing Cherades (that sounds almost rediculously daggy to own up to now!) & I did that film & he knew it, we bonded instantly because it was so obscure. Hah how funny huh, you are a gem Steven. xxx~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Dearest Katie, thank you so much I feel honoured that you should say so since i hold your own work in such high esteem. The truth is I share this place with such a myriad of talented skillful generous people, I am often left in awe at yours & others writes, I find it hard to believe this little burt response thing would be such a hit (I have only just realised it is in Spotlight after O's comment about it deserving to be here, I thought, what does he mean?... so I checked). I still feel humbled & grateful to all the people here who so inspire me to write & put it out there, I have said before I wrote in secrecy most of my life, not because of my desire to be secret, just never thought anyone would be interested, this has been the greatest joy, finding Neo (scuse the bad pun on the Disney film), to read so much gorgeous writing & have people critique my work & give me such encouragement... this is my heaven... Thank you so much dear one. xxx (Still think your acrostic should be here instead!) ~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Yay Kelsey, unlike me (& I am envious in the nicest way) you don' need a glut of words to express a great deal, I do love that about your comments always to the heart & succinct I could learn a lot from you my friend. So Thank you, it means a lot to me that you even come visit my works, I know you have a lot to manage in your life, let alone that you are so encouraging... & Oh please DO run with that title, it's a beaute, & as you see, I have too many to manage already, I would LOVE to read that poem from you ... please, please, please do. Lotsa love to ya xxx~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Of course you would my sweet Ann of the world, so much about life (ironically) You & I have always known that stuff, hooray for us (& most writers perhaps), what is really worth spending time & energy on in this life! You go ahead & spin those words & weave those clouds my friend, we love you for it (even if we can't keep up - I will probably be worse than you when I don't need to be working so much). I love the image you paint in your last para there... make it a poem please. There is a thing called a wind harp in the desert in Aus (I shall look it up) where wires are strung big scale & the wind sings through it, I love the sound of that & must go see it one day. I have 3 banskias I planted long ago, they are doing well & in full bloom I think still, 2 bright red & a gold one, I love them... It may be too rude for here, but there is the warning... my sister calls them "fanny trees" (over here fanny means the the girly bits) the spent flower dries to a kind of hairy cob with several "lips" all over it... I have always LOVED this description as crude as some might think... she is right they do look like that. Thank you darling Ann xxx Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Thank You Kata, I value your words. Am off to look what you & others have been up to xx~ Anni ~~~ "... sometimes I hear my voice - And it's been here .... Silent All These Years" ~Tori Amos.