Victorian wonder years

Some great imagery here my friend and i enjoyed its light and jingoistic nostaligia. When you opt for strong lyrical verse like this you need to adhere strictly to both rhyme scheme and cadence and there are places were you dont do this quite as well. This verse, for example, completely loses the cadence/rhythm compared to the others even though you have used the right number of syllables: "debased and demeaned maid’s scurry around cooks in the kitchen making a nice pound" In the verse below the rhyme scheme is abandoned (whores are also plural so should be their in the last line): "Waste flows through streets rarely swept or washed whores on the corner working off her tosh" Obviously it is a tad difficult to make it work as you have it but one alternative could be "Waste flows through streets rarely washed or swept whores on the corner working off their debt" Hope this is of some help. Keith x

At first I didn't understand this (think I must be hazy today) then I read it again and it evoked a strong feeling of verisimilitude. Your poetry style is deceptively simple yet actually quite advanced and subtle. Nice work.

I think you misinterpreted me. I meant to say that it only seems simple but it is actually quite complex and well written. It is definitely deep & profound whilst still letting the reader use their imagination by not overstating things. I understood it better after a second reading and that is cool in my opinion. Peace :)

awwwww "Taking airs and graces talking with a plum searching night for treason drinking too much rum"....u was thinkin bout me again O:-)...im not an alcoholic i swear !! lol jkin ...i like this one ...like its a good flow n funny in parts...but all in all i dont quite get it O.o...no idea y not but yer...either its coz its 9am n im not awake yet or iunno u'll have to explain i when im there next but with that its still yet another brillant poem by such a beautiful mind