Hellborne

A red flame dances
to flick cavernous ceilings
leaving its black fingerprint
as it singes

Demons' laughter echoes
above never-ending screams
and heaven-sent prayers
Duly ignored

Tortured soul bleeds
lifeblood ruthlessly robbed
a needed essence
to darkened figures

In this place of misery
suffering
and eternal forged chains
even Cerberus's tail is between his legs

— infinite_dwarf, May 16, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: E.A. Poe, Lewis Carroll, Charles Bukowski, Michael McClure, Lawrence Ferlenghetti.

Critiques

themoonman

17 years ago

Jess...

Well, you've succeeded in your play with the darkened sources... anytime you can get the keeper of the gate to tuck his tail... whew!... Richard

professor

17 years ago

Sounds like you have been reading Dante or Milton Jess!

I thought this was really good and very punchy. The long last line is great and goes well with Cerberus's long tail. There are a couple of places where i felt your images were not quite tortuous enough and offered vague comfort....which im sure you did not want to do lol. "Lapped up" was one....perhaps "sucked out" or "drained out". Further down "permanency" has a cosy feel even though i know it is supposed to imply inescapability. How about: In this place of misery suffering and eternal forged chains even Cerberus’s tail is between his legs Keith

infinite_dwarf

17 years ago

Thanks, gents!

Richard - Many thanks for the visit. I'm sure the keeper doesn't give a rat's ass what I say, but it's nice to dream, right? Keith - Not morbid enough for you, my friend?? Your suggestions are fantastic, and will incorporate them when I have a little more time to do a revision... need to study for a lab practicum at the moment. --------------------------------------------- "Until that ‘morrow render unto me That which is mine my stipend well deserved The fairest flower of your progeny Your sons, your daughters your hopes and your dreams The cruel consequence of your conceit" - Steve Earle

Janice Pearce

17 years ago

Hellborne

I liked the images here Jess. The first stanza drew me right in, with the last stanza a great ending! ______________________________________________________ Income-tax forms should be more realistic by allowing the taxpayer to list "Uncle Sam" as a dependent Anonymous

Rett

17 years ago

Jess, Really good

Now, excuse me while I go change drawers. You scared the, uh, devil out of me. Excellent write! Respectfully, Rett: "God made an idiot for practice, then he made a school board." Mark Twain For the sake of children, read this. http://www.neopoet.com/node/19905

Kailashana

17 years ago

I love the last line, what

I love the last line, what an image!!!!!!! We all get to visit hell now and then, makes us grateful to revisit heaven on earth, that is if we can recognize the difference. lol. ~A "No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment of punishment." Article 5 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

orgami

17 years ago

Bosch

favourite line is "Too darkened figures" nice write and i like the Cerebus touch Dwarf!!

infinite_dwarf

17 years ago

Thanks, all.

I like it when my muse doesn't call in sick on me.... Really appreciate the visits and comments, and suggestions for improvements. ------------------------------------------------------- "Until that ‘morrow render unto me That which is mine my stipend well deserved The fairest flower of your progeny Your sons, your daughters your hopes and your dreams The cruel consequence of your conceit" - Steve Earle

Dalton

16 years 1 month ago

i liked especially how the

i liked especially how the last line went. even cerberus' tail was between his legs i was expecting you to say even cerberus was shackled but maybe that would have been silly. please forgive me. this poem spoke to me. thankyou. john x