NEOPOET .COM

What did you think of my title? Of course I like it. It's about my favorite site on the web. How was my language use? You are showing a lot of improvement, but there are still some errors. What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing? Your rhythm and partern spacing is good. How does this theme appeal to you? I like it. How was the beginning/ending of the poem? Beginning was very good, the ending is ambiguous, but I like that. Is the internal logic consistent? Your logic is consistent. A few slight changes I suggest, more for grammatical reasons than anything. Floating with in me (within) Are the beginning of Logic , understanding why I need a poets dream In my search Expanding , growing Pass words of safety (Past words of safety) Farther even then me knowing (Farther even than my knowing) I came to this site All are welcome All can write A true hearts dream No matter your color Just write words that are true And you may help another With a poem that you chose (choose....chose is past tense) In this site I have seen This logic expanding Past a dream Into the life of reality PART TWO PART TWO The door is open I walk in this site (into) Never have I seen So much death Wrote into (written....wrote is past tense) A poem of life So I try With logic To expand my mind I have to laugh Logic will never Know the reason That I ask All in all Press, this is a really good poem that captures the essence of what this site is about. Writing, acceptance and helping each other. Very well done sir. Respectfully, Rett: "God made an idiot for practice, then he made a school board." Mark Twain For the sake of children, read this. http://www.neopoet.com/node/19905

I agree with Rett this is a good write well done ... and Isn't poetry the expression of our hopes dreams fears etc ... and of course imagination ... but the bottom line .. We write what we know .. just some of us write of more pain than others some of us write words that could make a grown man cry they are so beautiful ... but thats the real beauty of neopoet we are all different we all bring something different to the table ... be proud not ashamed Love JayC x

What a great testimonial. Brings forth the reality that I for one still have room to learn and grow. Mark Trust is a secret that never comes home.

I am proud of you! You are doing great with your expansion on terms, getting into your flow. Seems you are putting a lot more thought in the way you are presenting your work and your ideas! Keep it up, keep writing, keep thinking about how you want to say what’s on your mind before you jump on it. Or.. write it down how it comes, examine it.. and then rearrange it so it flows smooth. Don’t forget to use your spell check too. Try to keep an eye on places you need to add ‘s’s: ‘Floating within me Are the beginning(s) of Logic, understanding Why I need a poets dream’ I like this verse a lot-realizing or feeling You have this need to express yourself, and Perhaps the things you have experienced in Your life that you can share and help others through. Rett has some great suggestion for you.. read them and listen to the way they flow. I know you’re learning! Take care Friend, Always, Tonya