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K
Kyarain
May 15, 2009 ⭐ See this poem's read count — a supporter feature

Not What You Expect

 The sticky things flesh gets away with 
 Clinging hold
 Dried sweat
 Empty repentance
 Holding hands

 Sickly summer
 You feel on fire
 Not a pleasant sensation,
 This burning temptation

 Perfect circle
 Prayer box over-flowing
 Cramps
 Broken wrist, shattered will
 How do I write the words? 

— Kyarain, May 15, 2009
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Critiques

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

17 years 2 months ago

Kyarain

Nice poem i like your theme. i am not sure about the title, but your poem does cling to me. Maybe Cling should be somewhere in your title. :) ~~~~~~~~~ Be whoever you are At all times, and Remember that Because of this, people will Always Respect, and Admire you ©2008Leonard Respectfully Yours, Barbara
K

Kyarain

17 years 2 months ago

Thanks Barbara

I've been coming up short for a title, so when it came time to submit the poem... I just typed on in on frustration alone. Any suggestions for a title would be gratefully appreciated. Thanks for reading my work and taking out the time to comment. I look forward to bettering my skills and working towards being a great poet one day. Peace, love, and dreams, Ky~
Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

17 years 2 months ago

Kyarain,

Here it is: (Barely Clinging to my Flesh) I read this three time, and I can now see the simplicity of this poem, nice job!! thanks, Eddie Life is like a railroad track that leads to many junctures, if you stand on the track Love comes speeding along and runs you over!! Splat!!!!
K

Kyarain

17 years 2 months ago

Thanks Eddie

I'll consider your proposal for the title... its good, I just can't decide quite yet. Thank you so much for taking out the time to read my poem, thanks uber much for reading it three whole times! I really appreciate the effort you spent on it. Peace, love, and dreams, Ky~
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

17 years 2 months ago

Hey Ky!

Love it, as always. You have such a simple beauty about how you right, yet so captivating in how intriguing your words are. Just amazing for such a young poet. You enchant me every time I read something of yours. As for the title debate happening, I'd say because the poem is a shorter one, that using a line from the poem itself might sound a but repetitive. maybe a word? "Sickly", or as suggested above "Cling". I like "Cling" the best myself; really, girl, it's up to you. Peace N Love, always your friend. Katie

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