Myths and phantom stirrings

Out of my window I know the moon is alight with reflected brightness.
The sun a radiant leader
a constant feed
a benevolent over seer
... So Ra
... and sigh

A little like I do, just now,
Something building gently potent and direct,
The sense of a gaze upon a silent profile...
or a hand gently seeking in a darkened space,
to find reflected (moonlike) glow

This is something that I know

and yet not...

Geisha like in shyness,
averted eyes and tone,
a reverence well met and kissed,
much like my own

Natural in practice,
an unrehearsed display

More child like and responsive

More like the glow
and less to say

Surrendering the caution,
some foolish trust bequeathed

The passing phase
the moonglow haze

And I,
stripped bare beneath

With only wind and wondering
in truth alone
but warm

So comforted by phantom sense

You took me to the dawn

No leading draw,
nor pulling
no push nor stretch nor call

You might be the piper,
with soft soundless song
led me befall

So simple, yet extraordinary
reaching through the wires

Set to simmer,
ember red,
a prelude to the fires

As if I feel your breathing
even now beside my own

The rise and fall,
my moments stall
not even voices on the phone

And surely you are sleeping
3 hours, or more, away

You left your sweet warm phantom here
to lie with me til day

Maybe I am like those ones I know,
daisies blooming for me innocent
Feel you draw me through the winter soil,
slowly slipping through green mantle.
Seeking sunlight possibility
unexpected cultivation,
Jonquil, daffodil and iris
reaching reverent as witness,
sweet and subtle scent
like you

How is it you feel so sensuous over such senseless mediums?

Oh myths and phantom stirrings.

— Cloudthings, May 15, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Australia, regional Victoria, AUS

Favorite Poets: So many... Rumi, Spike Milligan, Keats. Many of the Neopoet clan, past & present. A myriad of song writers, Dylan, Jackson Browne, Lior, & I must add the poetic influence of painters, sculptors & creators across the world... Life really, especially the sky.

Critiques

Geezer

17 years ago

Myths and Phantoms

I don't know about tweaking,but I love the wonderings of a night lying abed gently wishing. The feeling of looking into still waters and of quiet fishing. I know of knowing that these things are phantoms,and instead of going fishing in waters oh so deep,I should just turn over and go right back to sleep. Absolutly lovely! Gee.

Cloudthings

17 years ago

You're such a romantic!!! I love it, glad it inspired you to th

Oh Thanks Gee - You're such a romantic!!! I love it, glad it inspired you to think (& say) such lovely things. You're a gem, a lovely marbley one, with a touch of far away sky reflection on the surface with the lustre ever so faint, ut precious... So sleep well my friend then & sweet sweet dreams xx ~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

orgami

17 years ago

sensuous mysterious with leading air Fabulous

LOve your new picture CLoudthings this poem really attuned my attention you are grasping a deeper meaning or maybe Im just getting into your poems more finding the flow Our long history of freindship here I never expected but delight in knowing of you Knowing you I always seem to give your works five stars and there are those that say we just mirror But Your works are classics I say I cant deny a good poem what it deserves write a good poem and I will post five stars I am spoiled Raised by the greats the talents and finding the new here better the greats never wrote back :) the egos tangled but you You are a class act Anni when all else fade and dissapate like mist you rise Your words enchanting me filling me sustaining me This poetry you keep writing keeps changing altering curving diving climbing You are my drug that I want More of of spellbinding Anni as always Your Freind Steven!

Cloudthings

17 years ago

I wrote more than a year ago, maybe even 2, long before I joined

Oh Steven, I am always amazed when you write such beautiful things about my writing, you know I love your poetry so much & always feel very humbled by it. This is actually something I wrote more than a year ago, maybe even 2, long before I joined Neopoet, so it isn't a matter of me developing to a different style... This was just something I wrote, just because I have always written, I never actually dreamed anyone would read it, all my life I just wrote, never thought of it as poetry as such, I wrote songs... & I just "wrote" other stuff that wasn't songs... I guess it's that I just write different stuff at different times, I have no idea if there's a "getting better" or whether what I wrote years ago is worse because of the years (one would hope there'd be improvement at least, it's very rare I go back & read things from the past, but some times when I have I have quite liked some of it, & dismissed other things... We are probably all the same. Anyway, back to your beautiful & very flattering comment... I will be your drug any time, hoping it would be a good one where the coming down is not at all uncomfortable. I feel the same kind of addiction to your work it's always so great to read. & thanks for the stars... I do worry people will see that cliche "mutual admiration" thing between us, because I do the same with yours... well, they bloody deserve 5 stars, but you know it has nothing to do in the end with who you are I'd give them 5 even if I didn't know you or like you, if the write is good it is good, we are all entitled to our opinion without any shame or judgement. Look forward to seeing what you've posted in my absence Seems you are feeling better? hope so. Oh, like your new pic too, lovely scenery, how blue the sky is & still there is a slightly chilly sense? xx Anni~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

orgami

17 years ago

a good poem is a good poem my Dear

I make no excuses I find I give stars to people who give good effort in the beginning or Like you my dear people who craft fantastic poems and anyway I comment here and there when I can hah hah In the early formative years I found positive reinforcement worked but then there are those that said tough love works better too some of the great poets were those who had horrendous starts so I dont know I too have had a cold for two weeks dizzy heart pounding weakness a summer one they are the worse well still going on looking at poems commenting reading Im not writing much lately just shorts lost some muses lately they have lives as do I (boo hoo) I'll survive take care get better nothing like a good cuppa tea

Arrow

17 years ago

A few thoughts but my main issue is:

For me, the self-referencing detracts some, esp. lines 6-7, makes it harder for me to enter the poem, imagine myself as the speaker. I felt particularly ejected by the line about sleeping 3 hours away because that's so specific to the speaker. I wonder how the poem would work without all the "I's". ------------------------------------------------------------ *to find reflected (moonlike) glow: reflected glow = moonlike, I got it. I'm not sure you need the parenthetical hint. *This is something that I know: I love this line-feeling as knowing. *Natural in practice, an unrehearsed display: also liked these lines as they capture the lovely lack of self-consciousness found in real love. *More child like and responsive -- hmmm, this seems to say the same thing as the previous lines but less eloquently. Is this line needed? *With only wind and wondering in truth alone but warm: Great! My favorite segment. I can see this as an ending point because this is a profound statement. *You might be the piper . . . This is where I started to have trouble, not because there's anything wrong with the images, the ideas, the flow, etc. but because I felt complete with the moon imagery and now have to reset. Maybe you have more than one poem here? But, then again, I have difficulty with long poems. It could just be me. Dreamy, dreamy and such lush dreams. But, if one is able to conjure such phantoms, one has swallowed the sun rather than merely reflecting it, I think. That's the best part of love, swallowing the sun.