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Katie you have an amazing talent!!I loved your poem.I won't comment further, what comes from the heart needs no explanations. Gives us more!

Loved every word.

You have such a clever way of disguising unpleasant things with sparkling words ... thus making the reading fine, and the concepts carried with your eloquence easy to digest. Very nicely written. Mike "not all matterings of mind equal one violet" ~ e e cummings ~

I do so agree with Mike and the sparkling words, but for me, it made it unreal, unfelt, unable to connect to... until your ending, that for me, started with If I stood above you just a little bit longer... and from there, for me, I found the real in your voice... the power if you will... the stark nakedness of your emotions... loved it from there... I did.. just one man's view... and it appears I stand alone. Richard

I see the canvas of your poem so richly emblazoned with the dramatic words of colour that it glows like a newly finished oil painting, one that would adorn the greatest gallery of the mind. OOOOO what a tale you tell you witch of words, you goddess of metaphors. Yours Ann of Norway

Katie, you do really have a way of making the worst of experiences seem surreal, almost like they didn't happen to you, and you are writing of someone else. Maybe that is why you can write so well about them. Your words are eloquent and make reading them and those experiences bearable. You will get through this stage someday,and I look forward to seeing you write of more pleasant things.[just not hockey,until hockey season is here once again!] perspective is a matter of perception. LOL, Gee

the problem with reviewing a poem with no background readings of previous or other poems is you don't know what the writer has or has not explored, but reading this I'd suggest exploring more into the sound effects, such as rhyme, near rhyme, alliteration and consonance etc., they are good tools to amplify an important thought and I see none of it where it would do the most good. You have a knack for switching between metaphoric phrases and similies, used wisely it can tone what is real and what is surreal. Also, the usage of similar phrases and descriptions is great, it's not repetitious but rather a mirrored view of what's already been said. great job, and good structure

I like the way you work to use visual images (e.g. colour) to carry the narrative. There are a number of technical ideas you may wish to consider. If possible use the present (active) tense. For example, "The occulted moon, half shrouded," could become "The occult moon, half shrouded". On that theme attempting to use the word "rape" instead of "raped" increases tension due to the use of the present tense. Articles often can be dispensed with in poetry. An example where your poem could dispense with "the" is the line: "If the blood stains said anything". Another example would result in "Faces scattered in sombrous eloquence." Certain words, like "soul" have become cliche in poetry. I am not saying I've never used it but when I do I grit my teeth. Better to elicit a similar idea without using that word, which is much easier said than done. The ideas contained in the poem are powerful. These techniques tend to prevent the power from diffusing. Best wishes, bjp