Cloudthings

May 10, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Silent poetry between us

Without these central hollows, gouged out of us so brutally
We could not have the capacity to allow this…
...deeper possibility that fills us now
                              You showed me
                                        …pulled my eyes wide
             I showed you
                                       Your beautiful almond lash fringed sad eyes
        Leaning slightly toward the gentle corners of your mouth
                                                                                  My "Sad eyed (lover) of the Lowlands"
As if that tragedy was waiting for you
You were formed early to be sad eyed and beautiful
I kiss that sadness lovingly
And let my own drops fall
                     For you
                                For her
                                          For those young ones
                          For my own losses
Each of which contain another avalanche I wish not to loose upon you

Such tender placement
Silent sharing building sensuous intensity
feel it
Molten layers of emotion falling (finally) into sated union

Those sad eyes speak more poetry than I could drink
                    And I drink
       Full, deep swigs of potent fragility and weight
Lakes of patience - and sighing
                                                                    Of hope dusted suspense
       Breath washing swiftly across the surface of soft skin
   And there beneath
An ocean of response
Tidal
…push
        …pull
                   and surrender to the undercurrent

                       I am siren drowned and peaceful
                       Suspended in your beautiful truth
                              Your glorious innocence
                      Your gorgeous willingness to be
                                      In the moment
                                     Breath to breath
Warmth lighting warmth across the micro spatial distance
None at all (distance) to the naked eye
                                          Sad naked eyes
                                Pinned to naked movement
                                                  Naked motivation
                                                  Naked emotion
                                             .... naked... heart... beating... naked ... rhythm here... I sigh in answer
                                                                                                                                              Swelling lava hot and silent
Warmth lighting warmth across the micro spatial distance
                                                                                                                  Osmosis
Sensations swarm from you to me
                                                              And back
                                                                               Between the membranes of our history
I hear the buzz of these
Crowding in some distant sea shell
Pressed to ears that are too far off in this slow motion play to transmit sound in time
Where one breath is galaxies
                                                     and lifetimes in your eyes (& how divine that thought)
Then I am blinded, sad eyed love
As you tilt your head and smile
I need no eyes to see your lovely heart
You shine so bright that light is inverted
To silent gaze alone, intense, immediate
In a blaze
Not visible to anyone but me
             And in that blaze my heart is branded fully
      Tattooed with recognition
Filigree designs that write the spell of constant vigilance
To be the best I can
        For you
                     For me
                                  For offspring blooming (both of ours) into light
                                            For her
                                                       For him
                                                                  And others who can no longer make the choice
          I will
        I do
      I have

It takes so much courage
And I feel most incredulous
That we have been thrown together
Incongruous?
To be such a sweet fit when tasted

         You showed me
       You took me there
       Hand on my heart
         You joined me
    You want what I want
   My hand on your heart

                                                    How perfect

— Cloudthings, May 10, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Australia, regional Victoria, AUS

Favorite Poets: So many... Rumi, Spike Milligan, Keats. Many of the Neopoet clan, past & present. A myriad of song writers, Dylan, Jackson Browne, Lior, & I must add the poetic influence of painters, sculptors & creators across the world... Life really, especially the sky.

Critiques

faerybeki

17 years 1 month ago

How perfect indeed… crying

How perfect indeed... crying too much to write any more than that Anni! Will come back when I'm less emotional hon ;) or we risk as yet unseen levels of gushing! :)much love b x

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

have to be honest, it makes me cry at some stage just about ever

Oh sweety, I assume it's the kind of hardship with a happy ending thing that has made you cry... I have to be honest, it makes me cry at some stage just about every time we have time together. One of the saddest things in this situation is that every happy & wonderful thing in life will always have a duality of sadness because someone is missing or not present for it, will never again go through it or see it unfold. There is incredible tragedy in both our histories, they can be so intense, but somehow it just intensifies the bond & makes us trust each other more. That's a surprise for me to be able to do that after my last circumstance, I guess the difference is the bit at the end, he is standing in that place or immersed in that place, just as much as I am, so there is a kind of "Happy ending" sense about it, makes me weep with relief, & fear that it might not be real, & fear of losing it as I have before, but as I preach, fear is an illusion & choosing to love, can shine it away, it's a waste of our energy, we are better off choosing our response & stepping into it. I geuss he & I are in awe of each other's courage, but in a way, neither of us have a choice, when grief strips you back to that place so harshly, you really get to see what really matters & it isn't actually much more than caring about those people who move you, love you & you love~ I know you know it, you're there with me sis. Love is the bit of magic really, look how happy you are loving your Omi so much... it's the one thing that CAN'T really go wrong, it's never a waste or a mistake to love, even when you lose it & it hurts, the love you give out is the good you put into the world, yours & others. Love to ya then huh!!! xxx Anni ~~~ "Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving". ~Kahlil Gibran

faerybeki

17 years ago

Anni I am back, this really

Anni I am back, this really is an exquisite write, so full of you and him and the children, it is that that makes me cry hon, I don't want to sound trite or daggy ;) but I ache for the loss you've both been through and am joyfilled that you have found each other and can both share that with someone who truly knows how it feels, that you have both reached a point where you are ready for each other and ready to dive into the ocean of love again, fly in that sky of romance even though it might be scary. Yes you're both brave and yes I am there with you sis,:) still hoping, wishing for you, him, the possible mingling of two families and I send you all much love and BIG hugs! 'It isn't much more than caring about those people who move you, love you and you love' love that Anni, gorgeous sentiment, so right and no it's not much more than that but THAT is so wonderful, Hooray!! :) I'm sorry Honey if I don't give you very useful feedback on your poetry I'm afraid your work just brings out these overtly emotional responses from me, you more than anyone bring forth great gushing from me and I love you for it but I think it makes it harder to be objective :) Hope you're on the mend babe? Haven't had a chance to revisit you on Myspace yet but am looking forward to getting around to it! more love b xxx

Cloudthings

17 years ago

Don't fret if you don't have time (to respond or comment me), I

I'm with Papparazii on that picture, she looks like she's just doing the Anubis thing & weighing our souls against a feather with that simple gesture of pointing... goes straight to my soul in a great way. Yeah thank girl, I know you understand that, you don't have to have gone through it to have empathy. & as for the apologies 1. Whatever you are inspired to bring to me is as it should be, I always appreciate your sweetness & connection (Ah & I suspect your spelling is a bit better than mine, I get rushed on occession & whizz through (write right instead of write the other day, caught it just before posting!)... Gush away honey, makes me feel more at home that's for sure!!! What am I going to do when you find a poem I write is crap... we'll both be speachless... then roll about laughing (if we were in the same room) oh we would have mischiefous fun methinks! & 2. Don't fret if you don't have time (to respond or comment me), I don't get offended very easily, spread your joy around honey, we all love it... JUst so happens I've been bedridden so time to comment like never before (usually steal the time from sleep or too often make myself late for apts. or meetings (naughty hedonist I can be... comes with the passion & creativity... not good though!) xxx Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

faerybeki

17 years ago

YOU, write a crap poem?! not

YOU, write a crap poem?! not likely lol! I'm just imagining us in a room together, TWO naughty headonist poets? mischievous fun indeed!! :) Bring on an International Neopoet convention, now that would be good! ;) much love b xx

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

You have an incredibly generous & measured way with us all here,

Ahh you precious Ewok, you're an amazing woman you know Kelsey... So ahead of your years. You have an incredibly generous & measured way with us all here, I expect we all love you to pieces. Thank you, I feel very honoured that you have written that, I need a bit of a moment myself to actually be with it, that is high praise indeed. There's no chance of me stopping until I stop breathing, I MUST write, you must be the same, I've been writing since I was so young... It made me into my own best friend in a way, it's a good thing, clarifies things & provides an outlet don't you think... I just rarely let it be public before I found Neo, so there's a bit of adjusting & lots to learn (which I love)... You inspire me tons Kelsey, you're so brave & bold & go places with your writing that I would fear to go, I love this stuff, even when it makes me squirm at times. Hope your studies are going well hey! xxx~ Anni ~~~ "Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving". ~Kahlil Gibran

deelilah

17 years 1 month ago

Yes, I am speechless too

The poem is so deep, so filled with tenderness, and private meaning, understood only by you and the party to whom you write. It is clear there is a sad story here, and maybe new beginnings. 'You shine so bright that light is inverted' I could spend a lifetime thinking about that line. Beautiful. Yours, Deelilah

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

the inexpressable vastness that becomes a myriad of communicatab

Thanks so much Deelilah, I hoped to express these exact sensations so I appreciate your feedback so much. There is so much going on just now it is truly quite phenomenal, not just a throw away term, I don't know that I ever had life really work the way I thought it should be, I thought it was happening not so long ago, but I was really mistaken, guess I was ripe for it anyway, cos here it is. & so many bizarre synchronous circumstances & such an incredibly easy fit for 2 people from the opposite sides of the world who's actual lives have nothing in common & yet the outlooks are so harmonious. You can't really put it all in "normal" words, but I felt a desire to paint the picture here all the same, your comments let me know that I have at least done so to some extent. I'm also really glad you picked that line, because I did think about it a few times, I know it wont make sense in it's true contextual terminology, I thought there'd be someone who picked it out & squawked about it, but when that line came to me it was the only one I WANTED in order to express that sense of how sometimes the biggest most pertinant elements in life don't have such a visible presence, no matter how powerful, they can be like iceburgs, though not even THAT tangible. Anyway, you've made me very happy having been able to access from that the very thing I hoped to convey... the inexpressable vastness that becomes a myriad of communicatable facets... Well, at least that's one way to interpret it. & ta for "befriending" me, I shall reciprocate if I have not already, I do love your work very much as well.~ Anni ~~~ "Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving". ~Kahlil Gibran

Cloudthings

17 years ago

Thanks Julie, I apreciate that. & verbosity is my curse!

Thanks Julie, I apreciate that. Yes, I always seem to have more trouble saying it in less words... oh to be succinct like Barbsdad or Arrow, Arrow has fantastic economy with words. It's my biggest challenge always was even at uni, I had more trouble keeping my max word down to the acceptable level~ Anni ~~~ "Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving". ~Kahlil Gibran

Seren

17 years ago

Bravo !!

Havnt been well myself of late Anni sorry I missed this incredible write hun .. Love and Light JayC x

Cloudthings

17 years ago

It's given me a chance to catch up on other peoples writing with

Thanks JayC... Sorry to hear you are unwell, I am amazed how I have been affected regarding my writing, don't remember ever being this "stopped" before... Still, it could be worse eh?! & we are so lucky really. It's given me a chance to catch up on other peoples writing without rushing so much... & to do a bit of research on the technical & other angles of poetry. Hope you feel better soon, or already & keep writing xx ~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Seren

17 years ago

Its funny what starts and stops one

I dont expect to feel much better for a few weeks but im a toughie and I'll battle on as I have been ... I found writing again becoming ill and im writing music again which I hadn't for the few years before due to performing commitments .. But I have to say I prefer having time to read its reopened a door .. I write because I love it and now putting pieces on here if they give some pleasure insight whatever thats enough for me .. This piece of yours though I've came back a couple of times its incredibly deep and everytime I read it I get something more from it ... Really well done hun its a spotlight piece if ever there was one .. awesome write Anni .. Love and Light JayC x x

Cloudthings

17 years ago

Hmmm, better perspective perhaps?!

You good woman, you have no idea how much relief your simple comment has made. I am so not used to being stopped, I went into this illness thinking, damn, couple of days... if I'd been prepared for a few weeks like you I may have allowed myself to actually recover & not had 3 aggressive morphed versions of virus bugs... Thicky puddy I was being. Just getting croaky voice back today, still exhausted just from getting to docs & shopping, so unaccustomed to being unwell. I soooo hope you have not been this unwell, horried, still.... could be worse huh.. I'm quite happy for the Spotlight to be on others, I had a bit of a go, never feel quite comfy there, sometimes I've felt the poems that get voted are not my better ones... no accounting for taste perhaps?! Sometimes I think it's timing. I must go look at your latest, though if you're unwell, you might be having abreak like I did Be Well J girl Cheers~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Seren

17 years ago

Anni ...

I got sick in 06' ... so I am certainly hoping this last bit of treament is the last of it hun ... most people dont know my situation and I know they know im unwell but I would rather people judge my poetry on their merits than on the fact that I am sick ... So i havn't said much and don't say much still ... Sometimes getting sick is a good time to think ... Its then that the real important things become .. Well I guess you take advantage of them for so long when you finally realise how important they are ?? Sometimes it can be life changing and for me it was changed totally who I am ... My life was one endless rush rush rush now I can't rush I much rather sit and create which is all I do everyday ..... I do get bored and sometimes I am too sick to write but most times I can always pick up a pen and my journal and write a few lines ... My hubby says " everyday above ground .. is a good day" here here ... ((((((((((((hugz))))))))))))) I just got over the flu huni after three shots at me im hoping that its finally done with and now I can get on with getting better better as my son calls it LOL .... You keep writing girl cause you got talent and the most beautiful imagination you write beautifully dont ever stop ... In life and poetry Love JayC x

Cloudthings

17 years ago

you have a fair skill yourself from what I have seen, it's so gr

Yep, see, that's why I see this as relatively nothing in the big picture, I am stopped temporarilly even if it's over 3 weeks (just not used to it that's all). It IS perspective isn't it! & being able to choose the way it actually is so you can be at peace with it, sounds like you have done a remarkable job of this then & I admire it. Being unwell, makes me so much more grateful for the majority of time when I am really well. I worked for years with people in rehab & with disabilities, I'm grateful for the perspective that gave me, we really are so lucky, in varying degrees, we are blessed with health... the ability to write is more than many can claim. Anyway, you have a fair skill yourself from what I have seen, it's so great being here & being able to read so much great stuff.. Must go see your latest now Cheers~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

bjp

17 years ago

Dear Anni,

Found your stride. No cheating here. Just chords and vibrations made for the... (no, not ear) ...poet. The reviews look good. Just lucky: I doubt. Yes, time and effort are part of the compliment. But then there is setting fear aside and doing something that risks praise from, but for, another. That might be said to be the definition of honest poetry: to risk complaint from others to offer something beautiful, and maybe utilitarian too, to another - to the world. And that line, the crossing of fear, is the line that separates the humdrum from the holy cow! But if you look only for emotive and immediate inspiration you will stray to the mediocre. Review and review and rewrite and rewrite. There is no stop-watch to say when the poem is hatched. Just smith it closer to perfect with each ring of hammer on anvil. You don't have just one voice in you but competing voices yelling at the same time. A poem gives the upper hand to one voice but you are all those voices and get to choose where the balance should rest. Or you can try to show the clamour of them all. And just remember this,... a kiss has not to do with it: the more afraid you feel, the closer to you you are and ever time you let you be seen, you spread the courage around. You are a very fast study: these principles you are already exploring. I read them as you write. Really good work! bjp

Cloudthings

17 years ago

just seeing you had left a comment made me go back & read my wor

Dislike being unwell & wooly headed, I already left a response here & must have been distracted before finishing. Wanted to say ta, because even just seeing you had left a comment made me go back & read my work again so it was fresh when I heard your comments, & with a review I wanted to change bits again even before I read you... that's a good little Pavlovian effect I think to have me go clean up before hearing your feedback, so there's a compliment back for what it's worth. I noticed some stumbling blocks also... Stupid things like feeling it was self indulgent to be reviewing my own work too much, I just have to get over that & it feels good to recognise that. There's a few other things too, good to pin, I am loving moving through these previously unrecognised blockages. I'm not sure about the competing voices, I am a singer & harmony is my forte, I write & arrange music for singing groups & choirs... harmony I realise is really important to me on every level of my life. I am uncomfortable with dischord. I need to let voices out so they can be harmonious... Everyone does it differently I know. Anyway, I like the changes & yes, like all of life, there is no difinitive point of getting it right, but a feeling of that sometimes comes, it may well be transient I know. Anyway here it is. Cheers Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

Geezer

17 years ago

My Favorite Lines

"Without these central hollows gouged out of us so brutally,we could not have the capability to allow this deeper possibility that fills us now." I don't think I could have said it better myself! If you never know pain,you can never know true pleasure. Not that I wish pain on anyone,but It seems to me that those who have always had it really good,cannot understand or recognize true happiness. I am sure however, that we could have done with a little less pain and a lot more happiness! I wish you all the best,I think you certainly have had enough pain to help you understand what sweet pleasure you have now! All my best always,Gee

Cloudthings

17 years ago

I reckon there's some magic in what we hold in our hearts for ot

Hey Gee, nice to see you here. Glad you liked it, have tweeked this a couple of times, think its much better & smoother now, though I'm sure I'll see more to tweek next tome, am getting better at reviewing & refining my work bi by bit. As for your comment, I do know people who seem to be super happy without having to have their hearts ripped out by tragedy, but I think it could be more common that those who have known serious grief may well have a far deeper capacity for empathy, love & compassion & lots of the other good things in life. I can't believe I have found such a beautiful otter who's experience in life is so completely different on the surface (a Californian boy originally, lived in Sth America for some time etc.), & yet so much of our journey is not only paralel, but incredibly harmonious... Part of that is what grief brought us to in our seperate ways, we swim the same ocean in that way & lots of others... heh, course it helps that he's such a "winding boy", wraps me up in those lovely long limbs of his... sigh (one more sleep!). Thanks for wishing me all the best, & you know in a way I feel I actually have it, a gorgeous son, a beautiful community, a loving committed partner, I live in a very lucky country in a gorgeously asthetically lovly town, I am (apart from a relatively brief flu curse!) really healthy & I can write in this wonderful space here, sing in my gorgeous spaces out there & connect with great people! Your wishes are a part of what make that very wish come true you know... I reckon there's some magic in what we hold in our hearts for others. Surely if everyone we know wishes us all good things, we will come to see we have all good things?! Cheers Gee~ Anni ~~~ "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror." ~Ken Keyes, Jr.

bjp

17 years ago

Dear Anni,

I read through the amended poem twice. It is really quite lovely. I look forward to hearing you put one of these "you" poems to music one day. Bravo for all the hard work. And indeed, this Indiana Jones path to poetry has required bravery and thick skin. You said that you liked everyone to be in harmony. Harmony is often a bit like a veneer. We take this old earth and we set it into shapes which will last at best some thousands of years. Our structures are easy pickings for entropy. But our structures reflect not so much their assured demise but our needs of the moment. And our heads can be so full, that we need harmony like aspirin to sooth us. I understand that feeling. The importance of order and good cheer. adieu, bjp

Cloudthings

17 years ago

your words they have such traction & are so brilliantly weighted

I don't know how I missed this one, apologies. Thank you & I'm sure you know that part of the thing that has pushed me to work harder on my poems, to cull a little more vigorously (though I revert & lie back at times too, there is a rebel in me that beleives this is my domain this writing thing & "I will do it my way"... thank god for maturing, when we realise that "my way" is better if shared & that other have much to contribute especially persepctive wise... we can do it on our own, but should not discount input or suggestions). As for harmony... well, it's my forte, it's what I have always done, I live it everywhere, & it's what makes me happy, though single voice & melody (literally & figuratively speaking) are exquisite & cannot be denied in any way. In the end though, it is about comfort & choice. There is so much in life that is thrown at you (anyone) that is hideously uncomfortable, I had much of it in my earlier years... much of them, now where I can choose comfort, I do. We look for beauty & what inspires it don't we... look at your words? Sometimes in your discourse I could lay down my pen & drink & observe & sit on cumulus perch & be glad I can read & write & have interaction like this, but am momentarilly so sated & content to read your words they have such traction & are so brilliantly weighted they make my soul sing sometimes. Despite our lifes difficulties, we are so very lucky. My best~ Anni ~~~ "... sometimes I hear my voice - And it's been here .... Silent All These Years" ~Tori Amos.