Pugilist

May 07, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

I Believe

I Believe

Accusations, like grains of sand
Crevice the mind, unsteady hand,
Rile the soul and wither brow,
Obscure all reason and somehow
Sow pale distrust ne're reconciled
Through the birthing of anger's child
In that space of insanity
Convulsing undesirably.

Silence, a raging plague of fate
Satisfying the greed of hate
Unsettling heart, slaying bliss,
Composing songs of sharp remiss.
Kith and kin sweetly disparage
Filial bonds and dear marriage
Observing imbecility
Like a wave of stupidity

Kindness blithely immolated
Slurs and slander, fully sated.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This idea has been kicking around in my mind for several years, not of this poem but rather the message the poem spells out. There is a clear and concise message hidden in plain sight in this piece. Most people disagree with the message, but that's OK, we are all entitled to whatever wrongheaded opinion we desire.

This July contest example is merely 18 lines lone, you have a whole 20 with whcih to work.

For a complete set of rules, see the following:

http://www.neopoet.com/forum/24108

Good luck.

— Pugilist, May 07, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Jacksonville area, FL, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Keats, Kipling, Carroll, Yeats, Tolkien, Shakespeare

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Critiques

Jonathan Moore

17 years 1 month ago

Why now?

So, the idea for this has been kicking around in my head for years, why write it now? I saw a comment on a poem which stated, flatly, "rhymes suck, no real poetry rhymes" That's not an exact quote, it was the meaning being conveyed. Well, I happen to disagree with the sentiment, just as I disagree with the converse statement that has been made which says, flatly, "all poetry should rhyme, if it does not, it is not poetry." Both statements are arrogant and wrong. So, with this poem, I made another statement about a form of poetry for which I do not care but rather than presenting my opinion as undeniable and incontrovertible fact, I state it as my opinion and, coincidentally, follow the same rules as Lewis Carroll. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

Tonya

17 years 1 month ago

First of all, I want to go

on record just to say, I like all kinds of poetry, rhyme, non-rhyme.. lol, and yes, even acrostics! Which, this one is fantastic. You present very good points in your poem. I agree, accusations imbed like sand, in the crevices of our mind, the sand can irritate. (like seeds, they can grow and expand, not always in a good way) I have seen examples of someones idea coming to light, and for no good reason it gains a following with no basis of fact or reason. We do justice and injustice by being silent and not stating our opinion. We all have one, not all agree. I was taught in school to be very careful in saying “All” “Everyone” “Always” “Never” they are all-inclusive words that will usually get you into hot water the end. Well done Pugilist. I enjoyed this poem very much. The rhyme was great, as was the read. Honestly, I have no suggestions for improvement here. Always Sincere, Tonya

Jonathan Moore

17 years 1 month ago

You are very kind

And you are right, it's an acrostic. And really it's not an indictment of all acrostics I just am of the opinion that structure, whatever structure chosen, should not be the purpose of the poem but the vehicle. In my less than humble opinion, it's like people who set out to write "important" poetry. It cannot be done. Pick a theme, pick a structure (free form is a structure as well) and write the best you can. If it is important it will become obvious to the readers. If it does not, no amount of insistence can make it so. Or, as I tell folks, "Dickens wrote to pay the rent." --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

Tonya

17 years 1 month ago

i agree...

we tend to read things that interest us, then they can become important, because they hold our interest. Or at least, that is my thoughts. Not all things are everyones cup of tea. Which is as it should be. If all were the same, things would be pretty boring. Some are just much better at it. lol Tonya

infinite_dwarf

17 years ago

Jon

Acrostics suck folks... LMAO! Aww, come on, sometimes they can be a challenge! But, as Tonya ever so gracefully put it - not all writing styles are for everyone. ~Jess K. --------------- - "Until that 'morrow render unto me that which is mine; my stipend well deserved: Your sons, your daughters, your hopes and your dreams, the cruel consequence of your conceit" -Steve Earle

Jonathan Moore

17 years ago

<g>

I know, and some people love acrostics, but to me they are like opera, something I do not, in the normal course of events, enjoy. I guess my main argument with acrostics is that many people make acrostics rather preachy and highlight the structure to glaringly spell out the words and, again, my opinion only, this makes the poem subservient to the structure, which bothers me somewhat. With this piece, imagine my consternation when I realised "acrostics suck" has an odd number of letters in it and thus, nearly done, I had to find an odd number of letters word to add to the end. The problem is that the term had been a plan of mine for years and only recently had I decided to cast it in rhyme, thus the last minute "oh my God is this over yet?" decision and search for me. But you are right, acrostics can be an incredible challenge and a well written acrostic is no less deserving review and admiration than any well written poem of any style. Thanks for the comments. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

Seren

16 years 12 months ago

In my wander through neopoet

In my wander through neopoet , I found this little Gem ... amazing write ... I really liked this one not flowery ... with a true message ... agree with everything you've writen here ... accusations are like grains of sand wearing away at both the accuser and the accusee ... and definatley not worth the breath they are said with , unless they have substance to back them up but at the end of it all I must be getting old , I let slights pass me by these days ... brush em off like confetti as we all should ... be a happier planet :) much respect and love Jayne x x

Seren

16 years 12 months ago

In my wander through neopoet

Ink Dragon

16 years 11 months ago

Jonathan,

such a clever thing to do... Even though I love my acrostics, I had a good laugh out of this one. Yours, ~Nina

Jonathan Moore

16 years 11 months ago

Thank you Nina

And I don't really think all acrostics suck, I just want them to push the boundaries as Carroll did. But thanks for the review and comment. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

Ink Dragon

16 years 11 months ago

Jonathan,

anyone who can pull off an acrostic like this one cannot seriously believe that they suck. It is an admirably clever turn with tons of irony underlying the very idea. I wonder if you have ever had a peek at my beloved "charms", which are some kind of acrostics? Would be grateful for your opinion if you can spare the time. Yours, ~Nina

Jonathan Moore

16 years 11 months ago

I will most definitely take a ook

Thanks for asking. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)

Jonathan Moore

16 years 11 months ago

Good poetry is where you find it

And anyone who does not realize that different genres are valid is a pretentious ass. And though I do not,as a rule, make this type of judgment about folks with whom I have not interacted, your teacher is an ass if she believes rhyming either defines or invalidates poetry. --Jonathan Annoying the world, one person at a time (Group discounts available)