Undressing Expectations

On hearing/reading this a man could feel secure in himself - knowing he was saved from judgements like the memory of past suitors or unknown [and thus unfair] expectations. Thus emboldened he could offer the best of himself, trusting that this would be the only way he was appraised. No ghosts would appear over his shoulder. I always hesitate to offer specific advice, though I think I'd be tempted [since you ask] to tie the ending in with the existing metaphor eg No, you you must wear your own shoes and not some conjured pair "to walk beside me unconditionally" ... obviously something much better than that, and more in keeping with your carefully constructed and sensitive piece of poetry. Well written indeed. Mike "not all matterings of mind equal one violet" ~ e e cummings ~

Hi beki ... I do like the changes you've made - and am pleased you didn't mind my suggestions. btw ... I like your new avatar! Mike "not all matterings of mind equal one violet" ~ e e cummings ~

Ain't it just like you to go and let a guy be who he is... good write my shiny friend... I was thinking about the title... I kinda like what you got, but... what about Man unimagined... just a thought that crossed my mind... Richard

Fantastic honey, a great write from you, (Oooh & I think for dreamers & hopers like you & I, a hard thing to do, this thing you are expressing) Bravo. This has a different feel than what I have read of you before, though I dislike suggesting you are "improving", it implies your previous work is less worthy & it isn't, I do like that you are exposing different angles of your writing here Beki. Well done my Faery one xxx~ Anni ~~~ "Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving". ~Kahlil Gibran

This is very different from you and i loved it apart from the end...although i think you felt the same way judging by your comments. If i might be so bold, perhaps it might simply be titled "Expectation(s)" and the end could go something like: you must be allowed to be you, to be real. A man devoid of dream-trodden expectation(s). That also keeps the shoe imagery going as Mike has suggested doing BW Keith x

Oh how I love people like you Beki! Your are giving one so much space! Your sincerity shows well here. It is a great poem, Sweetened my thoughts about you. Enjoyed it a lot. Thanks for sharing your beautiful thoughts with us. Sincerely, Wafi

and the ending the professor sparked... loved it! I think something else should probably be the title, so as to allow that line to be fresh when said... and I'm sure your imaginative mind can come up with something brilliant... what do you think? Richard

Outstanding!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Brilliant~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What more can I say? I'm guilty, though, expectations always gets the best of me, the fucking liberal-minded, mad mad idealist poet in me always wins. HA! ~A "The way you make love is the way God will be with you." Rumi

Title ... maybe a little contrived - probably because of all the advice you've received! Last comment on this piece, I promise ... how about a shorter title which might pique the reader's interest. eg "Dress, optional" But well done again for your sheer diligence! Mike "not all matterings of mind equal one violet" ~ e e cummings ~

don't let us drive you to drink... but I completely agree with the professor and Mike... a more simple title may fit the poem better... but you are the author... and you are a "nugget" for the site... Richard

are message. Rare is that person though. The ideology is grand and what we all should think and believe and remember! I would hope we all would accept people as they are and not try to mold them as we think they should be, love them for all their little quirks and ways! Really like your analogy, not cloaking them into garments that are not their own. Like personality, we are all unique! Love the poem as it is. And since I have finished reading All the comments, I see you have had some excellent Suggestions! (lol, I like the title!) And though you are speaking of yourself.. most definitely gives the impression of letting another be accepted as they are. If you are trying or wanting people to read it in the sense your speaking of yourself, you would need to change that .. example.. ”No, I I must wear my own shoes And not some conjured pair I must walk my own way Not follow a phantasmic path” But, please don’t change it.. I like it like it is. Always, Tonya

b., This poem caught me at the start, and kept me to the end. One would have to erase all memories to not compare compaions, but each one's effort to see each for who they are is key. This is well said in your way, your poem. wcw

Great write Beki, i liked best the last lines--- you must be allowed to be you to be real not cloaked with the garb of expectation These lines are very moving Urs-P

Beki, perhaps it's the queens english vs. americana.... but for us *disrobing* is the word. It just occurred to me, couldn't quite figure out why it just didn't ring true. Love. ~A "The way you make love is the way God will be with you." Rumi