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The Importance of Being Sane (Meeting an Old Man on a train)

I took this shot

not offered,

bought.

I took it to the train.

And though we traveled

side by side

I knew you most in vain.

We talked our talks,

regular,

as insanity can be

(and alcohol tinged reverie,

in stranger's company).

We thought the thoughts

of majesty of which most

fear to tread.

Though we went by train

and dare I say

Made love in box cars

with words,

spurned

(know touch, no touch,

have I known

from such a weather-worn man).

I never knew a beast

that ticked so quiet (so in sync with his own want).

The same (the same as I) with lust,

trust (in himself alone, with convictions that

must be discerned

from past sins of easy-going minds).

I must confess

I loved you not the least,

but most.

I'll love you in the end.

And when our minds

touched (tasted the insanity)

I new you were my friend,

my lover, my heart,

My new start (revolution of all the lost thoughts,

to an ever-awakening young mind).

And I fell apart when it ends.

When it ends-

We are again-

SANE.

Simple minds in the boxcar

of a train.

And I wake

to the memory

of sake

and- (reluctant on opinion) long lost friends.

But I'll know you (by the sharpness of your wit)

when I see you (by the beauty of your mind)-

sober as the sun.

Touched with wars

yet to be won.

And no fear left on your tongue.

 


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Country/Region: USA

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Comments

B

bjp

17 years ago

Dear Sha,

I read this poem three or four times. You have a very agile brain. The ideas in the poem are more than mere frolic. You wear your courage openly. It makes one want to shout in salutation. And don't get me wrong. I want to dislike this poem, for the rhyming alone. And I do prefer the rhyme-less middle. But you are such a bright gutsy chick that I like the whole thing. But because you are a bright gutsy chick... well, you'll just do what you want, won't you. Personally, my wish would be to see a series of iterations. (And by the by, I haven't called anyone a chick in more years than I care to admit.) adieu, B
Edevold

Edevold

17 years ago

This is pretty cool writing

I like the parenthetical asides,,, (I like that style) (It reveals the rhythyms of your thought flow/processes) I liked this alot : "I never knew a beast that ticked so quiet (so in sync with his own want)." I wish I could tick a little more quietely. So I'm going to rate this a 4 star. I think it's as good or better than other 4 or 5 stars, and I liked it. Adios por ahora,