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The Raspberry Moon

I gently tied a rope around
the cactus I was holding hostage
uncertain of my next step I took out a pen
and wrote a ransom note to the Raspberry Moon:


dear Sir,
please deposit money, power or fame 
into the blue mailbox at the end of the road
if you ever want to see your cactus again.

his reply came swiftly:
dear girl, we are all quite distraught.
we’ve given it a lot of thought,
and our concern, my precious flower,
deals not with money, fame or power.
your mission it is doomed to fail
for bleeding fingers tell a tale.
instead of those you did request,
we thought for all it would be best
to deposit in this box of blue
something of much more use to you.
we have sent you Cupid Seeds,
because, my child, your heart still bleeds.


— Proprietress of Crimson Hearts, May 02, 2009

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Critiques

theladyblue

theladyblue

17 years 1 month ago

oh kata...

this is so beautifully delivered...and done only as you can do it! I really love this piece. it has me by the brain for sure cause im still trying to relate the cactus to something and perhaps i am just thinking too hard! lol wonderful dear! <3 Emarie __________________________________________________________________________________ "i read you and see…that between the pen, paper and you…there is little room for me…" ~heartbreaker~ Go Live & Get Rewarded!!! Check us out at http://www.neopoet.com/forum/20761 & the Community Calender!!!
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

17 years 1 month ago

myladyblue,

the cactus is indeed a major metaphor in this piece. I'd be thrilled to know what it means to you! I always love hearing interpretations. your new pic is fantastic, Emarie, as are your soundrecordings. thank you for the read! Kata
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

17 years 1 month ago

Kelsey,

thank you for the read! the response just came out all at once when I was writing it, as if it were a song I remembered from a long time ago. you know the feeling? wow, everyone seems to have cool new pictures! maybe I should update mine too... mirror portrait, my Vampyre? Kata
themoonman

themoonman

17 years 1 month ago

Kata...

I loved this, the whole idea and the way it's set up. Raspberry Moons and Cupid Seeds... pure inspiring! Good to see your pen to paper entity's breathe! Hope all is well my friend... Richard
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

17 years 1 month ago

Mr. Moonman,

all is well... I have finally found some time to comment, though I have been concentrating on the unread list. there is just not enough time with so many new members! ah but I know you feel the same way, dear Richard. hope I find some time to catch up to all your new work! Kata
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

17 years 1 month ago

Julie,

thank you so much for your sweet comment. you're a wonderful contribution to this site, glad to have you here! Kata
Kailashana

Kailashana

17 years 1 month ago

Pure inspiration dear girl.

Pure inspiration dear girl. May the seeds flower...again and again. Love. Anna p.s. BTW, did I tell you I love your poem? "The way you make love is the way God will be with you." Rumi
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

17 years 1 month ago

Anna,

thank you. it is always an honor, hearing such words from you, poetess. Kata
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

17 years 1 month ago

thanks Faerybeki,

for your sweet comment! I am ever so glad you enjoyed this one since I was kind of insecure about posting it. Kata
Nordic cloud

Nordic cloud

17 years 1 month ago

Juicily succulent my Proprietress

Before I read your poem I have to say that this is a wonderful title, what thoughts spring into the head to multiply into the absurdity of a raspberry moon. Juicily succulent I wrote next and so it is you blue- purple magician of strange tales and fancies. Did he turn out to be other than you thought? Did the cactus flower look like a prickly heart? Did the cupid seeds bear fruits too? I loved this little bit of madness of the mind, in it the captured intensity and ripost; posted in the letter box of blue. At the end of which road I wonder. Yours as ever dear Kata from Ann of Norway
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

17 years 1 month ago

my dear Ann of Norway,

I am so happy that the title alone evoked such questions and thoughts in your wonderful mind. just as inspirinng as your wonderful poetry, my Snowqueen. Kata
A

Atticus

17 years 1 month ago

Wonderful!

I almost feel inclined to sit down with a thesaurus and provide you with all of the likenesses for "amazing!" I absolutely love this piece and have yet to read anything else like it on this site. (insert more extraordinary like words of praise here) -ns
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

17 years 1 month ago

Atticus,

love the name, by the way! I am absolutely flattered by your words. looking forward to your poetry. Kata
yenti

yenti

17 years 1 month ago

Kata

This is a lovely piece of deep thinking, that seems to portray a problem, then a solution to your thinking, in that the cactus is those things that have scratched your ways, and to ask of the moon to change things for you and His/Her reply, is what you know is in your heart, to go out and plant a cupids seed, so that you can love in truth and without the bleeding. You take care of your ways and feelings out there, Yours Ian.T
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 1 month ago

Kata

Loved the title, very original. I wonder if you could leave out "it" in the very last line? I enjoyed reading this one Linda
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

17 years 1 month ago

finally, Linda,

some critique! I am not quite satisfied with this one so your words are highly appreciated. I do need a word there for the meldoy and flow... but you are right, the "it" isn't really good. how about I substitute it with "still"? it still fits into the concept but it makes for a softer read, I think. I'll go change it now and would be grateful for some feedback! thak you for your help! Kata
O

orgami

17 years 1 month ago

cacti

a great poem swiftly in reading the flow like water smooth and tidy the story fascinating (for some reason I was watching a street busker playing his guitar singing flawless also and he had a bandaid on his guitar Now I understand the meaning!!)
Rob Graber

Rob Graber

17 years 1 month ago

Very Enjoyable!

I very much like the way the Moon, but not the narrator, writes in couplets!
Linda Moses

Linda Moses

17 years 1 month ago

kata

Yes, I do like the word "still" in that last line. I noticed that I forgot to give you stars, I did not mean to do that, so I will do it now. Sincerely, Linda
DT

Dylan T.

17 years ago

I love the images this stirs

I love the images this stirs in my mind. Beautiful use of words and imagery. Really enjoyed reading. :)
Cloudthings

Cloudthings

17 years ago

May the seeds sprout wondrous goodness in your gorgeous crimson

Mmmm, really enjoyed this Kata, alot, had sophistocation I have been craving a little, in a wonderful whimsical form, really lovely. May the seeds sprout wondrous goodness in your gorgeous crimson heart.~ Anni ~~~ "Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving". ~Kahlil Gibran
ID

Ink Dragon

17 years ago

Finally,

you have posted this little favourite of mine. You know I love the cactus and the Cupid seeds. I daresay your Cupid seeds have grown into some beautiful flowers since writing this, haven't they? Love, ~Nina