Sweet Deceit

I feel like I’m walking through molasses,
Some days the world is so bloody assed thick.
Tromping, trudging along with the masses—
Each step sticky, watch the hoodwinker’s trick.
Slogging through sugary sweet falsities,
Correctness sticks to the roof of my mouth.
They can get things done in the big cities—
So they say—I should stand firm on my couch.
But I can’t see; there’s syrup in my eyes.
Keep sap in the country along with corn,
And let so-called reports buzz at sunrise;
Cut the bull with a knife, thinner, I warn.
Sweet the deceit that traps like flypaper;
Candy-coated lies turn into vapor.

— deelilah, Apr 26, 2009

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwest USA, USA

Favorite Poets: E.E. Cummings, Robert W. Service, Emily Dickenson

Critiques

deelilah

17 years 3 months ago

Hi Julie

I'm glad you like this. It is actually my favorite to date, and it becomes more relevant as time goes by. One day I woke up and nothing was easy from that moment of waking, hence the 'walking through molasses'; then the poem just sort of wrote itself, taking on a political tone, politics, a thing over which I feel little control. I see small towns everyday where people are just hard working and normal, but are given no credit for being able to think. They're just saps growing corn and watching TV. The elites in the big cities, on the other hand, have assured us they know it all. And I'm just supposed to believe them. I think not. I have lived in the big city (30 years Seattle, even went to U of W), and I have lived in the little city, and now I live on the road (for the most part). Give me the little city. At this point I'd rather look at the night sky and watch the corn grow. Sorry for being so windy. Thanks for visiting and commenting.

Cloudthings

17 years 3 months ago

I REALLY love this write, so well woven this write, really refre

Ouchy circumstances Deelilah, but I REALLY love this write, so well woven this write, really refreshing. Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

deelilah

17 years 2 months ago

Hi Anni

Thank you for reading this and writing to me. I am curious, though, about how you interpreted it. What do you mean by ouchy circumstances? What is it you see in this poem? I'm always glad to hear from you and appreciate anything you have to say. Deelilah

Tonya Greenlee

17 years 3 months ago

candy coated lies

are indeed meaningless. They get in the way of the real grit and in the end do no one any good. There is no learning or growing. What good that may and can be accomplished is merely unseen by the flow of 'syrup' bogging one down in one spot, to grow stale! I loved your poem. You, i believe, are very wise. Hopefully many will listen. I am definitely giving you 5 stars because: 1. great insight 2. really nicely written 3. good flow/rhyme 4. done in a very nice thought provoking way 5. yes, big cities can get things done/small organizations should be able to too. Loved your poem Always Sincere, Tonya p.s. warm water, like honesty, openess, and not being afraid to say what one means should get that syrup thinned enough to be removed. I hope that made sense. (and i think you stated it all in your write)

deelilah

17 years 2 months ago

Tonya

I so appreciate your comments and insights. It was gratifying to find a few who felt the meaning of the poem, slogging through life's trials, and feeling others' difficulties at pushing through as well. I know a little warm water will clear up my sticky syrup--but what about theirs? I also appreciate your comment about being wise. In some things I am, others not so much. One tends to learn with experience, or at least we can always hope. 'Experiencia docet'. You are very beautiful. You look exactly like my best friend from Space Needle days (a few years back). I would love to know what part of the country you're from. I'm glad you liked the rhythm and flow. I think the poem meets the requirements to be a sonnet. I like the sonnet form, and some poems just demand to be written that way. Yours, Deelilah

Tonya Greenlee

17 years 2 months ago

shame on me!

for not picking up that ten meter count! A very nice sonnet it is! I admire that trait, being able to find the right words to say what you want and still stay within the parameters demanded of the style. hmmm.. wish i knew how to unsticky other people. Encouragement, honesty, maybe. Some are to bullheaded to listen though. I have to chuckle about the being wise in some places, not in others, i suppose we are all that way. Being wise where it counts? lol, is that the trick? or at least, usually the most important thing. I'm glad i understood your intent of the poem. Many times, and i am sure you are aware, the reader can get a whole different perspective. Which, can sometimes be an eye-opener for the author. It is always fun for me to hear what their ideas are, whether they like it or not, how it made them feel. Thank you for the compliment. I don't know i ever thought of myself that way...i always went for quirky. But.. i appreciate you think so. I was raised and live in Oklahoma. Have 2 boys, both now out of the house. I hope they have strong wings! You mentioned Space Needle, so, I take it you are from Seattle? I have gathered you travel quite a lot. I am sure that is great, to see so many different places. I hope you get to gather lots of food for thought and inspiration. Has been a pleasure Deelilah, to read your writings. I must go back and visit your other works again. Always Sincere, Tonya

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