Ray of Sunshine

On an otherwise bleak morning
A lone ray of sunshine, crimples my cheek
True companionship, between man and a faceless entity
Hovering over me, not unlike a cloud
Less daunting, a rich tapestry
Forever whispering
Not to my ear to my body
Conversing without speaking
Without words, or even hearing
Encouragement, in an otherwise cruel world.

— bloke, Apr 25, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: AUS

Critiques

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

like this work, very nice, not so clear on exactly what it is ab

I like this work, very nice, not so clear on exactly what it is about, but that is not always necessary with poetry. Cheers Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

bloke

17 years ago

hey clouds

Thanks for the comment. The poem is about that first step outside my front door early in the morning, when im heading to a deadend job and feeling really down. But then suddenly i feel the sunlight hit my cheek, and none of those depressing aspects of my life seem to matter. That one ray of sunlight on those early mornings, is the most beautiful thing i have ever experienced in life. Brent, by the way your poetry is amazing

Cloudthings

17 years ago

Thanks Brent & I LOVE that

Thanks Brent & I LOVE that sentiment... we get so much crap in life, it's a blessing to be able to find joy in things like sunshine on your cheek... It's things like that that have kept me alive at times in my life, so no wonder I felt so mived by this... It's great. Cheers ~ Anni ~~~ "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything." -Anon

bloke

17 years ago

clouds

I love that you understand where i am coming from, thank you for your kind comment. And trust me, at times that little ray of sunshine, is all that kept me alive aswell.

themoonman

17 years ago

Bloke...

I like the sunshine's tickle on my being too... its warming of Spring enthuses me as well... can relate so well... I do have a couple of suggestions... upon reading, it seems as if your second line could be the first line, and some of the commas were unneeded... if I may show you what I mean... On an otherwise bleek (bleak) morning, a warm ray of sunshine crimples my cheek... not sure about crimples, there may be a better word for your meaning. True companionship between man and (a) faceless entity... a or the would either one make it a more personal experience... and correct grammar. Forever whispering... I would separate the next line from this one not to my ear, (but) to my body... felt the but was needed, maybe not though... the rest of it was good I thought... liked the ending line. these are only suggestions Brent... enjoyed the read sir. Richard

Seren

17 years ago

Bloke I quite like this

Bloke I quite like this feeling of the morning pushing away any lingering depression nice work :) Love J x