professor

Apr 23, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Losing it

So have we met my love or not?Your eyes look so familiar,your voice seems not dissimilar,but just to whose i’ve plumb forgot? Each day is freshly painted new,but on a canvas that is old.At least, that’s how the scenes unfoldwith this damned sense of déjà vu. A past confused, confined to now;I try to speak as if i know.No sense of time, though wits run slow,obsessed with who and where and how?

— professor, Apr 23, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: China/Sichuan/Chengdu, CHN

Favorite Poets: Yeats, Elliot, Auden, Keats, Shelley, Byron

Critiques

faerybeki

17 years 1 month ago

Keith, this one really moved

Keith, this one really moved me, it's simply beautiful. My grandma suffered with dementia in her last years, it's so sad to watch someone slipping away before your very eyes, you describe well how it must be to walk in those slippery shoes. Much love b xx Ps. you didn't happen to see The Notebook on film4 recently did you? there's definite echoes of that here, for me anyway. :)

professor

17 years 1 month ago

Thanks Beki

Any kind of dementia is horribly distressing to see in someone, let alone a loved one. Typically people say that its not the person they knew and loved anymore and that makes its very difficult to cope. No i didn't see the notebook although keeping a notebook is one way they typically use to keep track of what has happened to them and where they are and who they know. Thanks for saying it moved you. There is an element of black humour in it...which our friend Anni noticed lol..but that was also meant to convey the bizarre confusion in which their minds must be at time. Keith x

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

Is it a release from the burdon of knowing? Alzheimer's?

Oh you are so womantic & dwamatic... sorry couldn't help the kidding, there is always an element of mischief behind your writes I am sure... Or is it what I read into them, I want to chuckle, is that horribly irreverent (Oh I want to say iweverwent!). Am in a silly mood again, sorry... No I believe it's ok, you make the fun yourself with the last word. Sadly, I have actually seen this too often. Scary really to know we are really only just a bunch of chemicals & hormones driving a body around!... heh, I don't need to tell you that. & when they get out of whack, who we are can be completely different, I wonder what that says of our soul? Or does it morph to suit after brain damage or disease, or perhaps it is a silent constant, void of personality traits at all... there's a poem challenge for you... Hmm I think Robert Johnson already did it... "Wont somebody tell me answer if you can I need somebody to tell me, tell me what is the soul of a man" I wonder if women's souls are more curvatious? Now I am being silly. It's a great write, I always enjoy your writes, I so adore this place all up. Been wondering what you will fruit next. More please. Cheers Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

professor

17 years 1 month ago

You are most certainly a bubbly character

Anni lol. I fear i may have predisposed you to seeing laconic wit in all my musings even when they are on serious topics like this one. And yes, as i said to Beki, there is an element of black humour in here which i suppose is an attempt to capture the person's awareness that there is something bizarrely wrong with the way they now see and interact with the world although they can't quite put their finger on what it is. Yes it can be something of a problem being a Cartesian dualist. Separating mind(soul) from body is fraught with large scale philosophical man/woman traps. As a Neuroscientist i am sure you realise i am not a dualist in that i believe the brain is the personality and the mind of an individual. That does not mean however that we understand all that brains are capable of, or that we understand all the forms of energy that we can sense or generate using them. And of course any self respecting physicist will tell you that your atomic constituents dont degenerate or die, just the bonds between them that give us our form. So we are all made of immortal parts but with mortal coils that link them all. That makes you feel so much better doesn't it lol. So back to souls...or more specifically the supposed shape of a woman's soul. Speaking as a man, all i can safely say is that a woman's soul is her love and that it is therefore capable of becoming any shape that is prepared to accept and respond to it and to wonder at its beauty and complete selflessness. A man's soul on the other hand is just lucky if it knows and can appreciate this. Why else do you think us guys write so much damned romantic poetry lol? So there you go. The Universe has once again been rolled up into a ball and kicked into the touch of understanding waiting for another throw in (being an Aussie im sure you appreciate the rugby/football imagery!). BW Keith x

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

I love the idea that we are made of the very same stuff as stars

Yes, I do feel you have predisposed me thus... & Bubbly is sometimes the perception, & it can be fun & a jolly way to live, though I confess to a duality internally... actually, probably bubbly is how I learned to live to create happiness around me, when internally I prefer (mostly, not always) quiet, peace, contemplation & stillness. I have probably always known this, but recently been brought quite beautifully to some epiphanous junctions regarding this way (s) of being... I do so much love mirth & wit & happiness shared, I also love the depth & stillness of contemplation & silent or less vivacious expression. So I guess it's my kick, or throw, though I have never been into footy or rugby (far too much rough hurting of each other & bullying for my sensitivities I'm afraid, can't bare it for a moment... soccer I can manage for some reason, seems less intentionally violent). An interesting reflection on souls Keith, the latent fem in me wants to assert that perhaps there are both of these angles in both gender, surely, though it reduces your lovely romantic premise, & for this reason, I am very wickedly tempted to ignore what I think is the truth (well my truth is only my opinion after all!) because your little blurb is just too pretty the way it is. I've no idea if that is selling out! Though I am quite certain that after any serious discussion we would be likely to be seeing fairly harmonious perspectives on these things so I am not too perturbed. Ah so much could be said on all of this, but I will just venture one more small response to your lovely comment... that of our origins etc. I love the idea that we are made of the very same stuff that the stars are, makes the idea of realising how we all shine so much more apealing! Enjoy these kicks to kick sessions x Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

Bosscombat

17 years 1 month ago

hey mate

In the first stanza I was thinking it was a poem about you goin to the pub and makin moves on a girl ...maybe chicks WOULD dig a guy with alzheimers, dunno, but I'll give it a whirl. On a serious note though, excellent poem, that's all I'll say..don't wanna be a brown nose. Keep on keepin' on Bosscombat

professor

17 years 1 month ago

Thanks Boss

yep the first verse was supposed to make you think he was considering makin a move on the girl but not sure if he already had but had forgotten...i.e. maybe she was the partner/wife he kind of knows he has but cant remember. Not sure i would recommend trying this on as a pulling strategy thought Boss...although it would give a new angle on the worst chat up line in the world "Haven't we met somewhere before"....which normally gets the put down response "only in your dreams" and a firm brush off lol. All the best Keith

meic

17 years 1 month ago

Alzheimers is truly vile,

Alzheimers is truly vile, particularly for those increasingly shut outside. Carers and family/friends have to adopt a kind of wry humour - I think - to cope with the ... disintegration. Your poem says what has to be said, with sufficient gentle acceptance and compassion. My wife's Auntie Gladys [a sufferer] died last year. You might like to read ALZHEIMER'S WARD: IN MEMORIAM GLADYS http://www.neopoet.com/node/7335 Mike "not all matterings of mind equal one violet" ~ e e cummings ~

professor

17 years 1 month ago

It surely is vile Mike

and yes i remember your poem very well....thankfully....it was a moving tribute to Gladys. And yes developing a kind of humorous approach to help cope with the situation often helps....in my line we sometimes call it "operating theatre humour". Thanks as always for your comments. BW Keith

themoonman

17 years 1 month ago

Alzheimers...

You are right about the dark humor family members must take on to cope, been there. My Grandmother suffered from the disease as well as our family... we took care of her at home until she was hurting herself trying to get away from us(the strangers) in her house... of course she no longer thought of it as her house either, there were indeed some humorous moments when you look back, but hard to deal with at the time... enjoyed your poem... Richard

professor

17 years 1 month ago

Ty for your comments and observations Richard

..much appreciated as always. BW Keith

Seren

17 years 1 month ago

The tragedy of alzheimers

Is that people who have loved each other for most of their lives ... (or even just the people they love doesnt have to be a partner) ...is in the forgetting ... I like your tongue in cheek black humor at the begining ... it is true though .. my uncle suffered and well it was sad as he got worse he thought that i was his ladylady from when he was first married to my aunt .. I played along with the him at the time not wanting to upset him ??? but in all seriousness it broke my heart that my favourite uncle had forgotten my ugly mug .... My hope is that one day men like you will solve the problem of alzheimers and hopfully find a cure for this wretched disease ... Well the poem ... Its awesome as usual but you know I love your work ... Sorry I missed this in getting ready to come down and visit boss ... And a fabulous Five from me LOL Love JayC x x

professor

17 years 1 month ago

Ty JayC of the fabulous 5 lol

I guess we all know people who have suffered from this terrifying condition and the numbers are increasing as the ageing population increases with us all living that little bit longer than we used to. Im afraid we have not managed to come up with any magic bullet cures for this one although some very recent work showing very positive effects in slowing the progress of the disease by reducing the damaging plaques and tangles in the brain is extremely promising. The fact is that once the damage has been done to the brain you are fighting a losing battle and the aim has to be to find a way to stop it developing in the first place. Hope your visit with Bossman has been a raging success..im sure it will have been lol. Love K x

Seren

17 years 1 month ago

Matty/boss and Robb where

Matty/boss and Robb where the consumate hosts LOL ... What is theirs is ours and we always feel at home there .. I cooked a big steak dinner friday night I'm not sure if Matty is hungry yet LOL ... And the fabulous five was much deserved your welcome LOL Love and Light JayC x x

Kailashana

17 years 1 month ago

Anyone see The Notebook?It

Anyone see *The Notebook*? It does seem that this disease is a precursor to the ultimate forgetfulness and loss that is death itself. Or like "The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", science will soon replace unwanted memories. Talk about a whole (k)new reality. Well-written, sardonic(?) poem about human descent into oblivion. Quite frightening for all concerned. We miss what we no longer recognize. ~A "The way you make love is the way God will be with you." Rumi

Seren

17 years 1 month ago

I just seen your comment

I just seen your comment about the notebook and felt compeled to answer you .. YES YES YES .. I have seen it and fallen in love with the both of them time and time again ... I always say "oh to be loved the way he loved her" what an incredible story and one that is repeated the world over Love and Light JayC x

professor

17 years 1 month ago

Thanks Anna

yes it does seem as if it can create a new and terrifyingly confused reality for people. Descent into oblivion really says it all. Keith

Kailashana

17 years 1 month ago

Speaking of…. My

Speaking of.... My terrifying new reality now that I let my x come home (i thought for a few days or week at most -- it's now 6 weeks) is as I am typing this I am listening to the Mass on tv in the other room... (I love Gregorian chanting, however.) And I am longing for an intimate connection with a lover... I hardly remember being in love with him, it seems a lifetime ago. And yet the memory of being in love won't let me go. Another kind of descent, eh? Much love Keith. ~A "The way you make love is the way God will be with you." Rumi

orgami

17 years 1 month ago

five minute delay loop

video feed and audio clip for ear maybe eye screen like military something opaque maybe not for visual impaired like a black box for old people recording the loop was I going up the stairs or coming down Oh hit the replay Oh here I am starting at the bottom climbing I must be going up but what for???????????? okay that idea is scrapped I love the mind Professor and read all the latest on brain mapping Via netherland german chinese studies using MRI nothing is conclusive yet I studied the results of criminals by scientists via use of MRI and other devices with subjects linked to screens and stimulus response what areas were glowing i the brain by blood floow electrical flow not sure about the chemical but its still a mystery what happens at death the lights and the halo machine magnetic pulse that can induce this out of body feeling or their study on how the mind percieves itself from outside perspective via the use of a head instrument cameras and screen for eyes Just play video games on large screen for view shots and one can make the brain accustomed to this Literally think around corners which would be handy for combat training Police brain pickers on killers forensic brain sink search so much is a mystery chemicals can only affect so much and its a give and take with them You must be a very fascinating man to talk with the nature of your work I know this place is cool to ponder great poem Keith! emphatic and tender