Cloudthings

Apr 21, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The gentleness you dug from me

Gratitude
resides
I am stripped down to
skeletal fragility
where it matters not how cold the wind, how harsh the word
or how silent your pen for me now

I am touched,
though not directly,
by cooler lips,
and blown by sentiments not aimed this way
The revelation broken at my feet and thus revealed
Ah yes, this is humble!
Not scuttling hurriedly so as not to be noticed,
but that very gentleness you dug from me
the state I long for
Retaining grace
and wholesome inner core
Nobility in sweet respite
with eyes averted (yes again)

Curious to feel I am known here
by strangers on far continents
unintentional guests alighting
with tendril probing sentiments
proceed to private recess
the atrium unused to intrusion

All that is lit is breath
and slow blinking wonder
silent

Oh!
was that a tear?

I miss that place you met me
you brought me here
....then left me here

I was truly lost when you dissolved
and materialized at the alter of a cheap distraction

I suddenly court angst!
Do I need my love to know this language?
Once conversed in these soft languid lines
can I go back to paint by number verbiage - no matter how articulate?
No matter, I will cultivate my Spanish
so my words will always sound like poetry.

How I love to hear his gentle Spanish tongue
with softly thudding D's
and the upturned curve of an active verb
a tongue that may not have this eloquence we knew
but it knows me in honey sweetness
in silent breathy pleasure.

All is well, it is enough, we are redeemed,
all of us.

— Cloudthings, Apr 21, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Australia, regional Victoria, AUS

Favorite Poets: So many... Rumi, Spike Milligan, Keats. Many of the Neopoet clan, past & present. A myriad of song writers, Dylan, Jackson Browne, Lior, & I must add the poetic influence of painters, sculptors & creators across the world... Life really, especially the sky.

Critiques

orgami

17 years 1 month ago

feel like winter warm the trees thick with damp gathering

flakes so slowly dropping and steady filling up the shadow cast by limbs by poles by the felt thickness of clouds bent so heavy like these words silent these nights soaking up sound like swimming underwater in mystery your poetry changing changing changing you swimmer of the river you serious Otter deep deep poem Anni beautiful and fully haunted

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

learned to practice different writing styles from years of song

Oh what a beautiful comments as always, it will be winter here soon, sometimes it even snows in Daylesford, not so common in Aus. But today was warm & sunny, a delight mmm, lovely, I was getting rid of the "kipple" in my house, the stuff that accumulates & takes over if you don't get rid of it from time to time, sentimental bits & pieces etc. I think I learned to practice different writing styles from years of writing songs Steven, always wanting to change the feel & tone, don't want to be one dimensional, it's what I do in my life too. Petrus says "Imagine what you could do if you focused on one thing" (I bet you get the same!). That was when I was doing Visual arts, & focused down on ceramics (but I really wanted to do painting... some time, I did a little, want more, I think you paint?). Thanks Steven, love having you as part of my tribe, you're always so supportive & I so love what you write. Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

faerybeki

17 years 1 month ago

Anni, this is beautiful hon,

Anni, this is beautiful hon, I love it, deep as O says and powerfully emotive. I've been so busy of late I've missed so much here it seems, you are really writing some awesome stuff babe, just keeps getting better and better(and it was bloody good to start with!!) I'm sorry i've not commented on your last few posts (congrats on spotlight btw, wonderful wordy woman!) but I have read them hon even if I didn't leave comments! You know I feel the same about this place babe but my 'real' life is calling to me loudly at the mo and I need to tend it, I know you'll understand! hope you're well? much love to you and Geordi xxx

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

I understand, my life is doing the same only I lose sleep, silly

Hi Beki, thanks sweet one, I completely understand, my life is doing the same only I'm foolishly staying up late & not getting enough sleep so U can indulge. Don't fret I don't mind at all, rather you give your buby your time than me girl, it's all fine, be peaceful about it. Would love you even if you hardly wrote to me, but I'd miss you! xx Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

meic

17 years 1 month ago

I love the switchback

I love the switchback way your focus shifts from universals to specifics Aye, and personals too to season the feast. It is fine and generous of you to acknowledge the input of others, though you have to recognise just how much of you you freely give, and how much we cherish that. btw: I like to make pictures also - if you're interested please visit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7911705@N07/ Mike "not all matterings of mind equal one violet" ~ e e cummings ~

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

Curious to feel I am KNOWN here by stranger on far continents

Well thanks Mike, I feel really acknowledged by that comment, that takes a little bit of real presence to see such a thing, it is easy though, it is , I mean, what I love to do, so it's not all selfless. But yes I feel very touched & impressed that you have clearly taken the time to look deep enough to see... you see, testament to the write in fact I'm sure I put a line in there about being surprised I might be actually KNOWN by stranger across coninents & seas. Ah there I found it.. can be the heading. Anyway, we go through life (well I do as a performer) not really requiring or placing too much stock in acknowledgement or praise, I guess I try to accept it gracefully since if I give it genuinely as I always do, I would hope for graceful acceptance, but now and then someone shoot to a deeper level of understanding & insight, again mentioned in this work about the atrium unused to company. Anyway thank you for your sensitivity when visiting & your acknowledgement of my acknowledgements. I have looked at your pictures really interesting, & looks like you have been a pretty prollific writer for a long time, no? I am extremely tired so I best sleep will look for more of your works tomorrow, wish I had more time! Cheers Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

bjp

17 years 1 month ago

I have responded...

to your part in inspiring... with The Thesis. adieu, bjp

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

Now this one is bordering on cryptic, shall have to go searching

Now this one is bordering on cryptic, shall have to go searching now, & easter is long over! Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

bjp

17 years 1 month ago

Further response,

Retaining grace and wholesome inner core Nobility in sweet respite with eyes averted (yes again) I wish to say how lovely this poem is. I should have said so earlier. I was distract by writing a wall of words, inspired in no small part by this poem. For I think a gentleness resides in most, and if not, then a longing for the gentle. I heard it in your effusive comments and had to watch as joy turned (no pleasure). I forget what running into that wall is like. I don't know why. It is as fresh as your poem in my memory. You stand up as liberty in this poem. You show the pain, the calm, the pride of place, and a mastery of words that are the bane of any mask. The hand that is pulled away is a theme in "The gentleness you dug from me". Can the gentleness reside if all hands are pulled away. No, probably not. Not all hands are pulled away. You get to decide what to do with yours. Little sway, though I command, I vote for more of your maskless writing in poems, which is a good and safe place. Now I am up too late. So, wishing you good passage, I say, adieu, bjp

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

I am moved to silence & that gentle place, & some tears unshed,

Well, I am so glad you like it, because it was in fact you who dug that gentleness from me, with your comment to me about it in your first response, there was more to the journey of course & the whole poem is, as I mention, a real collage, so the "you" refs are not all you, but a I thank you for doing that digging, it was a lovely thing you free'd & I am so grateful. This poem was the begining of a new perspective & a new access to parts of me that I neglected more than I had realised. It's funny, I am used to having "all hands pulled away", the hurt of this one, was that I finally got to a point where I thought those hands were THE hands that would (without question, I thought) not pull away, the shock when they did still echoes as you see, I don't know why it should, those hand have nothing for me lately but amicable minimalist response at best & lately a few heavy blows out of nowhere, I still don't understand it... But you are right, I have my hands, & they are good & true & clean, & I finally love them. They give me access to these unspoken words we play with here, they allow me to embrace & give sweetness to others & they gave me these fantastic interaction with you & these other truly great Neopoets I have become so fond of. You are an enigma, you seem to have so little faith in the goodness of we human creatures, you even seem to be a trifle scathing, & yet you also show such tender consideration, such heightened awareness of undercurrents & between the line circumstance, the coours that play in the silence between what is written. I do believe for all our difference, I like you a lot, you have a remarkable mind, there are quite a few here who actually, you can read it, I do think you should read Arrow, & Orgami if you haven't though he is hard to miss around here, spotlight king lately, as he should be too. Ann of Norway also pulls wondrous strings in my mind like that & Barbsdad has a wonderful skill with minimal verbiage, maximum imagery evoked. Stella also has a style I think you would find apealing, her writing makes me bleed in the most helplessly mesmerised way, no frills just real, to the heart of it. Others you have already met... There are a great many fantastic writer here, these are just some I think who have a style that might be inspirational to you particularly. There are many poets here I delight in that may not be your style, those who are more playful or emotively evocative, deeper in a less structured way, I love them all, & I really do, sometimes I think I have so little boundaries, though I do need my space soemtimes, I am so inside people when I am with them... I imagine you as passive & reserved in public, words that slice through anything but the simplest truths... I like to deal in simple truths. I think I would like to meet your Olya? I imagine you together by the lake, it feels good & inspiring, I hope to have that peace with my new otter, who is a scientist (but he is so otter like, a lovely contrast). I just reread your comment & am so moved, this is such a beautiful acknowledgement... Yes, I am moved to silence & that gentle place, & some tears unshed, but lurking. I thank you so much for returning to bring me this lovely gift, I am so very lucky, & so grateful at that. Averted eyes in reverence & respect Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

Geezer

17 years 1 month ago

Gentleness

Just wishing to add my two cents worth,to all the others. The lines,"I am touched,though not directly,by cooler lips,and blown by sentiments not aimed this way. The revelation broken at my feet and thus revealed. Ah yes,this is humble!" These lines have opened a door that has been shut for a long time. No matter how these lines were intended,they take a certain meaning for me. The "Not scuttling hurriedly so as not to be noticed." I get the idea,that you moved slowly, so not to be noticed. But wish that you had said it differently. All in all, a great poem! Gee.

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

let me know about what you see through that open door soon

Yes, I am so glad, I was really moved also, by words in a comment to me, first to write this, then via this & discussing it's import with my otter, I had such an awakening of understanding, an epiphany that cooly flowed through me from top to toe.... Oooh fell asleep twice now. I should just say thanks & I'm glad my write could be of use to you, you are such a good egg Gee. Take care & let me know about what you see through that open door soon xx Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

bjp

17 years 1 month ago

In the woods, by the lake...

I recommend you look at the poems of anasta zia, particularly "Ode to a Slow Burn" which is a poem written about the death of child. bjp

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

A hard subject for me to

A hard subject for me to read on, but I will take your lead... in trust Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."