Cloudthings

Apr 19, 2009 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Comfort in an open hand

She was Venus on the half She was Venus on the half shellShe was Venus on the half shell
She cried when she was struck
some wicked satyr came to drink her virtue

As the winds blew nature's seasons
it's my guess they stole her luck
seduction gloated, “fate would never hurt you”

Somehow innocence retained
lust was never rightly reined
but the sweet flower in her grew back by the Autumn

Holy words would have her drown
replace gold halo with tin crown
she was generous with all, but would not court them

She dredged her courage and her heart
She had succumbed, and felt ashamed
But she believed in possibility and love

She looked so frail within the shadow
The wilted bloom the camera framed
But noble beasts began to join her and wise eagle flew above

She moved in mythical dimensions
Touched by truth past lust’s pretensions
Glowing, for sweet certainty prevailed

Her pilgrimage required
She be martyred and inspired
Her dreams tormented where his desire impaled

She journeyed through the flat lands
and arrived at cold distinctions
where the mountains purpled, bruise-like in the distance

She felt the membranous transition
And the cold of loves extinction
And turned to face her restless new existence

Yes but here a happy ending
Bringing warmth and dreams expending
Darling let me offer after all

Comfort in an open hand
Curled languidly with no demand
and wings, preventing any other fall

— Cloudthings, Apr 19, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Australia, regional Victoria, AUS

Favorite Poets: So many... Rumi, Spike Milligan, Keats. Many of the Neopoet clan, past & present. A myriad of song writers, Dylan, Jackson Browne, Lior, & I must add the poetic influence of painters, sculptors & creators across the world... Life really, especially the sky.

Critiques

orgami

17 years 1 month ago

the burn of inscence the sound of Hole's "Violet" a cup of tea

tidied cleaned dishs spent time laying looking up at the sky to the sound of power tools and laughter in yards happiness in suburbia come in now dark to sit with lamp ablaze with speaker play..Now Hendrixs version of "Watchtower" and reading this poem this poem is so different a maturity developing something more wounded something fretful and flying still in darkness beneath the stars searching seeking seeing great mastership of words and form I think and I say this because yes I love your poems against the present distraction backdrop the soothing warmth of tea a clean dress shirt a light meal This is food for the soul this happy ending the written verse tommorrow work and things to do yet as you I am drawn to drink from Neopoets fresh waters Five stars of course my dear

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

Love these little rambles you place on my pages, thank you

This is a great sketch Steven, Lori I assume??? Or maybe your daughter? Am guessing. Wish you were here to tidy & do my dishes ... but actually I wouldn't let you I'd just have you trussed up & writing forever more (evil cackle he heh heh hehhhh). Love these little rambles you place on my pages, thank you. I am exhausted from 2 night of only a few hours sleep, up on Neopoet most of the dark hours... oh dear, no use asking your for advice there, I think you are as bad as me, if not worse... I shall suddenly get old & shrivelly, there are chemicals that keep us young that only come out in deep sleep, & once we miss them there's no making up for them as we get older... I never used to look my age... today I did, someone asked if I was ok, groan. I am so pleased your poem has been so popularly appreciated dear friend, yahoo. Hmm as for this baby, it isn't such a departure for me, you just haven't seen the different styles I work in, I used to feel it was varying the song forms, I guess it's also poetry forms I vary, same thing in many cases for me. I am surprised & honoured you find it masterful. I wonder what you will think of the poem I wrote this morning, I have to wait until tomorrow now to post it & I can't wait in a way, I don't often feel like that about my work, I hope I am not disapointed by the reception or anything, I try to be detatched & unaffected as much as possible, but I suspect with tomorrows write I might be a little anxious. Yes Hendrix & poetry a nice combination, "Little Wing" is high in my VAST array of specially favourite songs... now that man had mastery sometimes sloppy in a gorgeously improvised way, but always brilliant & unaffected. Ah Steven I am glad you like this, I think it matters not, until you come & say, & I am warmed through & content. Like your cup of tea or coffee, your tidy house & fresh shirt, your sweet consideration of your love Lori, & your love of words, like mine, there actually is comfort there in that connection I feel it since I must be more vulnerable in my sleep deprived state. Thank you again. Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

Nordic cloud

17 years 1 month ago

If I am any judge of poetry

This is a masterpiece of the music of poetry, its rhythms grasping the mind and waltzing with all ones awareness into a mesmerised stupor, never wishing it to come to an end. Maybe I should listen to something of yours, I have only just found out how to! Old fuddy duddy What? You are mostly young things with computer magic decoded long ago. What words of praise can we think up for this, there are not enough variations in our language to do justice to such work. Just wonderful. Ever Ann of Norway

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

I liked it much better after I managed to put the happy ending i

Hi Lovely Ann, I don't know, I don't feel I can judge but for my own taste & perspective, but thank you dearest one, you are so skilled in your own right (write), it is always high compliment when you enjoy my work, I liked it much better after I managed to put the happy ending in. Wow, just looking again you sing my praises so eloquently & so generously, I am so lucky to have such support, thank you. No you are not a fuddy duddy my gorgeous woman, you have beauty to offer that is necessarilly missing for the generation who rely on technology so much, yes, we take it for granted, but honey you do pretty well by the looks of it, I mean, you're here aren't you. My music page desperately needs an update I've neglected it so for Neo I'm afraid, but here is the site www.myspace.com/annicoyneclouds there really is only a small taste of the various genres & collaborations I work with, & most of the songs are mine of course, some of them created in the studio & recorded as they were, it was a great experience, but pretty organic. It feels odd to have some real life stuff exposed here where I am used to having myanonymity as such a blanket, but you know, it's a public space, anyone can find it really, you don't need much to work it out & many do, I am amazed the amount of people who say they have "Googled" me... heh, I've been multiply "googled! Thanks Ann of sweet spring change xx Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

orgami

17 years 1 month ago

Someone else up to turning nights into days

truss me up madwoman and feed me bickies the odd spot of tea Ill tap out poems with a stick between my teeth yes the bush would do me some good a visit far from here Though I love Lori dearly the abscence does make the heart grow fondness for awake am I picking up the peices per usual My job like the broom wearily sweeping while the clowns have all gone off to bed im enjoying the madcap life this illness I have the manicness losing weight from all this which is good from two forty eight to two thirty and dropping fast the sketch you enquire oh artist one was of a fictious woman Lori is much cuter and my daughter truly a classic all her own (Chloe) i am looking forward to the weekend now that its spring and we can get out back to the yard and I have my Bike back from Canada Tire a chain store thats huge well across canada but their head office I think is in torono manager told me to wait two more days for my bike that Id already waited ten to get a derailler So I went home and called head office Had a nice talk with Barb and before yo knew it The main store here called Bike was ready Put on my golf shirt and grey cardigan Pulled my hair back and slicked it down My black shades and went up to pick her up all quiet kind of followed me along somewhat I do believe that playing small does not serve the world (Nor god for this matter) for we have our gifts and purpose to share and as you share with me lovely one So too I must go sleep for three hours again work errands etc goood greif

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

I am so glad I might inspire you by sharing, shine brightly

Ah lovely O' you are kind & sweet & oh so talented, well done with the bike, & don't take Lori for granted, she keeps you in a good place, you know it. We poets can look after each other, inspire each other hugely, be good to each other, even share tea & bickies via imagination across the ether & the time difference. I am exhausted! so weary been a very long day... & how addicted I am to Neo, I don't like to go a day without it. & I am so glad I might inspire you by sharing, shine brightly my wordy friend. Be well & warm & happy & write away Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

faerybeki

17 years 1 month ago

Thank you for the happy ending x

Anni, finally I have a bit of time to leave a comment on this one. It bowls me over that your contempation of my experiences could lead you to write this awesome piece. Yes there is sadness here, but so beautifully expressed, I love the imagery honey, I feel at home here, in this one. I think you paint masterpieces of emotion babe, that you get any inspiration from our connection honours me immensely :) You wonderful woman, generous and giving, Thank you for that happy ending hon! I do believe there may be one for me, I still have to fight the sadness sometimes but I'm better at it than I used to be and it comes round less often now. Much love to you my sleep deprived mermaid ;) xxx

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

Embrace sadness then you can "give it up" rather than "fight" it

Hah, lovely thing, thank you & my pleasure. One thing about the sadness, we all have it around something, I was liberated from it more when I learned to "give up" the sadness with out offering it home in me for long, rather than "fighting" it, which seems to seat it in the throne of your consciousness so firmly... I kind of embrace it, accept there is good reason for it (in honesty, sometimes I love it, it offers me LOTS of richness & insight), but if you don't want it to hang around, I feel the trick is to "choose" it, not to fight it, & once chosen, you can give it up! I know you manage quite well, without this suggestion, just wanted to offer it, it helped so much for me. Of course this write has my own history too or I would not be able to conjure it well, but it was a direct response to your write (a comment to me, not a poem I think)some time ago. Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

faerybeki

17 years ago

Anni I was just popping back

Anni I was just popping back to read this one again, can't believe I missed this gorgeous comment of yours, such wonderful advice honey, thank you! I have been trying to let go of negativity with as much love as I embrace positivity, I know what you mean about sometimes loving the sadness and seeing the richness of it, also I find it can, at times, feed my creativity. I really love this poem Anni, as I seem to all your work and find this connection with you so uplifting :) (I'm saving for tickets to Australia hon, but don't expect me too soon, lol) much love b xxx

orgami

17 years 1 month ago

Lori

I am learning she is the hardest to learn from th last one i will probably learn from evertying tilting her father is dying he is everyhing to her he is a good man I respect him I cant try to be like him because hes just rare Im far far far from that ideal of strength yet I have come to know and like and love him and its unhinging all my stuff from my moms passing when she was seventy ten years ago??? No she is the pin that holds my sanity my conscience shes my star the rest are defined Muses and subheadings after that in order of importance history etc this Neo is creative and a workshop and its addictive im so tired I dont know what keeps me going Im losing weight which is good I hate the fat I carry I feel like I did when I was a kid bad time of time listening to Korn and Limp Biskit coupled with a Coldplay tune or to keeps me edgy I need this I am seeking professional counselling and have not gone over the edge just merely out where I once found it comforting and maybe need to go there this time not alone see whos home so to speak thanks for worrying and caring though My Bunni and I love each other muchly !!!!!

Cloudthings

17 years 1 month ago

Sounds like you are doing well, do the things that are good for

Sounds like you are doing well then, do the things that are good for you & Lori & take good care of each other, careful love is good Care FULL I mean)... I know what you mean about Lori's dad & these things triggering your own history, that can be tricky, it's good then that you are seeing a councellor, I am proud of you for this, takes some guts & a lot of integrity I think. Take good care my friend Anni ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small doesn't serve the world..."

odiumscurse

16 years 11 months ago

Cool!

That was great on all levels poetry from the soul.

Cloudthings

16 years 11 months ago

just feel I have progressed since joining Neo & decided to revie

Hey thanks, don't know how this got to be in evolution, there seem to be no new votes until you got here, I just feel I have progressed since joining Neo & decided to review some of my earlier works to see what I could bring to them... Anyway glad it has drawn you here, I shall go look at your profile, I assume you are newish since I have not seen your very happy face before... Thank you again Anni We dont believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveal

Eduardo Cruz

16 years 11 months ago

Ann,

WOW! this was like a dream that came alive. My favorite stanza was this one; "She felt the membranous transition And the cold of loves extinction And turned to face her restless new existence" The realization and it's new beginning. This had so many wonderful emotion that touched my very soul! Outstanding write, poetry at it's best. thanks, Eddie

Cloudthings

16 years 6 months ago

I missed it somehow & so extremely late I send my gratitude

Hey Eddie, thank you so much for these kind words, I was going back to empty emails & found yours & thought, I don't remember this... I missed it somehow & so extremely late I send my gratitude, I think my writing went down hill a bit since this time, I was very unwell & am still trying to recover, & there was so much going on, I hope you'll forgive me. I am not able to have much Neo time these days, but I do hope you are going well. Cheers my friend Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama

Atticus

16 years 11 months ago

Anni,Love the story and

Anni, Love the story and choice in words....and the song like rhythm reminds me of a limerick full of teachings. Beautiful work! -Nathaniel

Cloudthings

16 years 6 months ago

Thank you for your lovely reflection here, you always write so b

Hi Nathaniel... what has happened to your wonderful image? I did love that black & white one you had. I must ask you also to forgive that I managed to miss this comment, & your comments (really anything you write) are so very precious, always apreciated... I very much mis reading you, I shall try to come visit when I have caught up here. Thank you for your lovely reflection here, you always write so beautifully. Cheers Anni~ "When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace". H.H. the Dalai Lama