Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Zephyr

Zephyr Gentle West Wind seemingly effortless you sail,gliding over sea and stone - immortal.Soaring through ravines and racingyour non-existent shadow O Zephyr you wheel
challenged only by the mountains and cliffs;the birds, all things buoyantand free are your playthings. Centuries ago you tugged the at loosestrands of hair and rustled the skirtsof the women seeing their men offto their terrible fates. O Zephyr you know no names or titles -only the intimate feelingof the mortals we study
Do your opalescent eyes see the dyingDo you weep air and help their lostsouls homeward with silken hands Substance and abstraction
light and dark
visitor from the past and presentbearer of exotic scents and diverse images -All of this you are and more
Cause and effectThe willow’s tendrils sigh
with the knowledge you impart O Zephyr; the sole-surviving witnessto history as it happenedYou have played joyously with children long past
You haunt the crumbling citadelssearching for ones of millenniums gone Unknown eavesdropper to alleged conversations -You alone know the truth
The horrors and wondersthat you have witnessed
will never graceour consciousness for
although you whisper
the shining gold daggers that are the truth
you speak a foreign tongue that only you can understand O Zephyr, forgive us our stubbornnessyour wise words ignoredThe only ears that hear you belongto the grasses and the birds

About This Poem

About the Author

Country/Region: ZAF

More from this author

Comments

O

orgami

17 years ago

Cyprus cedars and dune grass

rippling waters held in stone viaducts the lonely night walls where watchmen listened where dogs chained in mosaic courts dreamed fountians murmured the fingers of wind playing through their muted light of moon gentle like a loves lost passion the tender breakers against jetty green depths sweeping beacon burning the white song to sailors reaping from the sea gardens Magnificent Poem My book of spanish history means all the more now to me the colour plates detailed
G

Giuliana Isabella

17 years ago

wow

Thank you so much - you write such beautiful words, I had to read them twice! x Giuliana Isabella x
professor

professor

17 years ago

Hi Giuliana...or should it be Isabella?

This is very much classical genre poetry in both subject and style....which i happen to like although not all do. I was almost expecting it to be called Ode (or maybe Prayer) to the West Wind. You have some great imagery in here but what lets in down, and its rhythm, in places is your line structure (for example using full stops in the middle of lines almost never works well in my opinion). As to some specifics your fourth verse could be something like: O Zephyr you know no names or titles only the intimate feel of studied mortals. Do your opalescent eyes see the dying? Do you weep air and help their lost souls homeward with silken hands? and the sixth: O Zephyr; the sole-surviving witness to history as it happened. You've played joyously with children long past. You haunt the age-crumbling citadels searching for ones millenniums gone. and the next verse Unknown eavesdropper to alleged conversations - You alone know the truth of horrors and wonders you have witnessed. Horrors that will never grace our consciousness. For although you whisper the shining gold daggers that are the truth, you speak a foreign tongue that only you can understand. Just suggestions of course to help the flow of your work a little. Hope you dont mind. I enjoyed it though otherwise i would not have commented. BW Keith
G

Giuliana Isabella

17 years ago

Professor,

Thank you for your valuable suggestions, which I of course, do not mind at all! I think you have an excellent point and I am definitely going to look into my line structure here. Flow is something that is important to me, so I really appreciate your help. Thank you for reading my poem and giving your time to write such an indepth comment - it will not be in vain, I promise! ;) Regards, Giuliana Isabella
Morgana Tragic Proprietress

Morgana Tragic…

17 years ago

Beautiful Guiliana

An absolutely beautiful poem, Guiliana, I loved it. You have some great imagery and stunning words here, a longer write that kept my attention. great job! Peace N Love Katie Go Live & Get rewarded sign up at: www.neopoet.com/rewards
C

Craig Norris

17 years ago

Yes this is great.

Nice work, loved this journey, I agree with the comments about line structure, it would improve the flow and therefore help to lift this even more. Great poem. Craig