Neon Pain

Neon Pain,

The real meanings are slow to come,
Easier for others, but hard for some.

 I wish I could tell you it will be OK, But it most likely won’t.
I wish I understood exactly how you feel, but truly I don’t.
I wish that death made some sense, but I doubt it ever will.
I wish I could lift your burden and help you up this steep hill.
I wish I could be there to hold your hand’s while you cry
But all I have is my rhymes, somehow I still have to try.

 I wish the Lord could come and explain the meaning,
Enlighten us both and show us what we are not seeing.
I wish that I had the words to tell my friend why,
Tell her why the fates said it had to be her guy.

 But the answers leave my words at woeful loss.
It’s not what I’d have chosen, if I had been the boss.
I wish to write her something she will remember
Something to sooth her soul while it’s torn asunder.
How can I protect her through the coming Sadness,
How can I help her to re-own her unique gladness.
I wish I knew how to lift her broken Neon Blue Spirit,
I want to tell her it will be OK, and she needs to hear it.

 Unfair meanings are slow to come,
Easier for others, but hard for some.

 What I want her to remember is that their are people who care,
She has many friends, even if we can’t all be right there.
I wish her to think of all that they both have shared,
And the many things he did that showed her, he cared.
And think of how worried he would be to see her so sad.
Or even worse yet, truly upset, or the most dangerous, mad.
You must know that he would wish you to be happy.
That if could, he himself, would surely set you free.

 You now carry his memory, his last claim to living.
So again even in his death, you just keep on giving.

 So cry when you must, stay in bed an hour or twelve.
Make sure to put up all his picture’s, upon every shelve.
Take a hot bath with steam, at least once every other day.
And always remember that it never hurt someone to pray.
Make yourself a cup of tea or two especially when your sad.
And remember to always be grateful for what you both had.

 Learning meanings may be slow to come,
Easier for others, but hard for some.

 “Why me” has the power to tear your fragile heart to shreds,
Mix it up, then roll out your soul and bake it hard like bread.
First you will need to forgive him for leaving you so very alone.
Then you must forgive yourself, it was Gods will, not your own.

 When you are ready my friend, it may take a long, long, while.
But I would be liar to say I really knew about your coming trial.
And Saying “I am sorry” is the lamest, useless sorry answer of all.
It’s the universal way of saying we know we dropped the ball.

 But when we can come to realize there is no one to blame,
Then somehow figure out that death really is all the same.
And when there is no ending, then there was nothing to finish.
Not before the end of time will ever your true love diminish.

 God’s meanings can be slow to come…..
…easier for others…but hard for some…

 4/16/2009

 Julie

 D. D.

 Written for my Friend Maggie, Electric Blue, my prayers are with her as she grieves.