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Stalked

Foamy waves breaking on shore
Sand glistened as if irradiated
Wandering seagulls hungry
cawing their next feast
crabs scampering into
waves drowning abodes
A day like any other
beauty at its pinnacle
unnoticed by most
Taken for granted by others

Children running and playing
a cacophony of sound
peace in their world
Mum and dad lazing
enjoying a few moments respite
being vigil has its price

A girl
hair the colour of corn
soft brown eyes smiling
her first step on sand
always felt like coming home
 
Meandering away
The cries and screams
fading into the distance
finding her sanctuary

Surfing one great love
Belle slithers into black
Anticipation
ripening her veins
It had been long

Strolling to the shore
wading into the bay
her bay ,
the only place of solitude
A place she felt safe
crying ,
laughing and just being

But fate had stepped in

A man stood
shadows of the wattle tree
waiting for time
they would be together
he adored her,
worshipped her,
watched her
She would be his
Insanity crept in ...

— Seren, Apr 19, 2009

About This Poem

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

More from this author

Critiques

Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

17 years 1 month ago

Seren,

could you check if the poem really was posted? because nothing is showing up here. let me know, I'd really love to read it! your concept and titel sound so promising. your Proprietress
Seren

Seren

17 years 1 month ago

Proprietress

It was posted for one day and I was unhappy with it ive been working on the first and second parts for the last two weeks will msg from here when its done (which wont be far away) the third part is already there it was the inspiration for the first two parts .. always one for doing things different me :D hahaha you watch it will probably be a big ol train wreck again Love and Light JayC x
Proprietress of Crimson Hearts

Proprietress o…

17 years 1 month ago

what do you recomend?

should I read the third part first and then the second and first or should I wait for the first part? you decide how the series wants to be read :-)
Seren

Seren

17 years 1 month ago

I would read the last part

I would read the last part first its my favourite .. and well im being fussy with the first two parts i want them just right ... So go ahead read No 3 if you dont like that you'll definatly not like the first two parts LOL Love and Light JayC :)
M

meic

17 years 1 month ago

Certainly the structure is

Certainly the structure is the classically effective one: you've set the scene quite adequately imo and introduced key players by the end of the piece. Most of the language used is appropriate and fits nicely with the theme. As it is a WIP I'll make a couple of suggestions for you to consider Stanza 2 a 'right' cacophony of sound ... cacophony seems a little 'slangy' here. Stanza 3 it appears there's a verb missing ... perhaps 'makes' before 'her first step on sand' Stanza 4 'fading into the distance' ... 'fade' [transitive verb] better here. Final stanza: typo 'worshiped' should be 'worshipped' As far as it goes it certainly caught and held my interest so I'll look forward to reading the final version[s]. Mike "not all matterings of mind equal one violet" ~ e e cummings ~
Seren

Seren

17 years 1 month ago

Meic

I really dont think I got the right feel in this poem I wrote bay of whispers part 3 first ... I know it sounds irish But after I wrote it i keep feeling there should have been more to the poem ... Maybe i should have left it at one as i dont like this one ... I will try those couple of things you have suggested see if I cant fix it a little Love and Light JayC x